Taking a break in a relationship?!

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Taking a break in a relationship?!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Littlebitss1
    Participant
    December 26, 2015 at 10:09 am #90519
    Taking a break in a relationship?!

    I met and started dating my boyfriend in September. I met him online about a week after the first date he asked me to be his gf! I was so happy and excited because even though I am very close to 25 it was my first real relationship. He is 24 going through a divorce. I just felt so lucky to finally have someone, after so many online dates and disappointments. This Monday, we are hanging out and talking and he pretty much says he wants to take a step back, he will not call it a break up and got upset when I said “so you’re breaking up with me” but he said just a “breather”. He said he doesn’t want to lose me but he needs time to get his stuff together (get divorced, get a place, a car etc…) He said he wants to be with me and be official when all that stuff is done. I am freaking out I don’t know what to do I am worried about how long it’ll take and waiting and what if he finds someone else, so many things. I am afraid that at 25 I am getting old and want marriage and babies soon.

    December 26, 2015 at 7:16 pm #90527

    Hey,
    I would say that if he seems like a genuine person, then perhaps he really does just need this space. It’s a lot to deal with those changes; particularly the divorce part.
    Not to scare you at all, and if you know that his last relationship is done, then don’t worry about this. You would know better than I, but it’s possible that he would want to see if things can be rekindled with his ex-wife; and out of respect to both you and her, he may want to take a breather on things, so he’s not involved with anybody while considering that decision.
    Other than that, I would say that these things don’t take too long. Provided he has a job, he can/should get a car quickly. If he needs a place to live, he’ll address that quickly. Divorces though, can take time; especially if they’re nasty. If you’re really concerned about it, ask about the time frame, and what will be involved. You shouldn’t be inquiring about all the details, but keep him accountable for getting this done.


    wyin79
    Participant
    December 28, 2015 at 3:57 am #90578

    Don’t freak out. If you really want to wait then ask him for how long … But don’t push him. Men they don’t like to be pushed and he might feel stressful because of it. Just take it easy, and let him know that you understand it. But on the way back, you need to know more details, and you don’t want to wait with no hope or no clues.


    Relationup
    Participant
    December 28, 2015 at 9:12 am #90525

    You are 25 years of age. I know you feel like you are racing against a clock, but you have so much life ahead of you.

    Give him space, divorce is a major transition for anyone. If he finds someone else then c’est la vie. What if you find someone else, could happen. I know life can feel short, but life is long as well.


    lawero
    Participant
    December 28, 2015 at 1:44 pm #90616

    This may not be the news you want to hear, but a break has never worked for me. Don’t believe in it. Usually when it’s reached that point emotionally you just want out. In fact, I think in many ways the person is just stringing the other person along. Better the break up so you are both free.


    mc71326
    Participant
    December 29, 2015 at 8:01 am #90652

    I think the reasons that he is giving are quite legit and should be considered by you. Dont worry so much about your age and live, if he is the one you really really want, then wait for a while so that you can get the best of him.
    If anyone else has to be yours or has to have you as his one, then he would come by and all these confusions would leave.
    I would say, just let your man be, for the time being. Work on your career etc and hopefully he should be there with you, just as he was, and just as you have been wanting.
    If not him, then someone much more deserving would surely come