Taking it slow or playing games?

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Taking it slow or playing games?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    GoodbyetoYesterday
    Participant
    May 8, 2015 at 1:11 pm #78627
    Taking it slow or playing games?

    I met a girl on a dating site a little over a month ago. We texted and talked on the phone, and I met her at her apartment and we made out that night—nothing more. She was quite the flirtatious one. A few days later and after a few hot and heavy texts, I met up at her place again and we fooled around but didn’t have sex. I told her I wanted to, but she gave me the look of, “why did you say that.” So, naturally, I played it cool and enjoyed the moment and what she wanted to do.
    The third time we hung out, we talked a little more. She said that “she wants a guy that knows what he wants”, and “I’m not so sure I’m ready for a relationship”, and “I’m still getting over the last guy I dated for several months.” She continues to call me daily, but texting has slowed and the passion has disappeared. Over the last few weeks, we’ve only hung out once—again at her place. She gave me oral sex, and we watched TV and laughed quite a bit.


    GoodbyetoYesterday
    Participant
    May 8, 2015 at 1:11 pm #78628

    A few days later I found myself really questioning her intentions and made an apparent mistake of telling her that I was crazy about her and I wanted to take her on a date. I am well aware that this goes against the ideology of “playing it cool”. So, I apologized to her because she said she felt like I was putting too much pressure on her. The fact that she communicated that to me instead of ignoring me meant a lot. From that point on, I’ve stopped with the good morning texts and emoticons, and I generally talk to her only when she initiates. So far, things are fine…but I’m still stuck. I can only guess that she just needs time.

    However, three nights ago she sent me a text that said, “You know, you can call or text me too.” I said, “Sorry, just been a busy few days!” Again, I was playing it cool. We texted back and forth for a little bit about her job and what not.

    Abbadon
    Abbadon
    Participant
    May 9, 2015 at 2:39 pm #78671

    Don’t play games at that stage there is no more room that that. If she initiates so should you otherwise you it turns out like you don’t care. Never use “Busy” routine its just dumb you can do better then that. Just take it slow and try to understand her more you do better moves you will make. its weird position to be in but she is responding well so use it.


    GoodbyetoYesterday
    Participant
    May 11, 2015 at 8:16 am #78629

    She called me the next night and we talked for a good fifteen minutes, and I asked her if she’d like to go to a specific restaurant I mentioned and I’d pick her up at 8. She responded nonchalantly but nicely with, “sure, we’ll figure it out!”

    I heard from her again yesterday, she called me on her lunch break and we talked for a few minutes about her upcoming trip. She said she’d call me after work, but never did.
    What should I be doing? I’ve tried ignoring her, playing it cool, being myself (always), telling her what I want, making the decisions, and even finding other things to do to keep me occupied, but…nothing really seems to work. If she just wasn’t into me, then why would she call?


    GoodbyetoYesterday
    Participant
    May 11, 2015 at 8:16 am #78630

    I heard from her again yesterday, she called me on her lunch break and we talked for a few minutes about her upcoming trip. She said she’d call me after work, but never did.
    What should I be doing? I’ve tried ignoring her, playing it cool, being myself (always), telling her what I want, making the decisions, and even finding other things to do to keep me occupied, but…nothing really seems to work. If she just wasn’t into me, then why would she call?
    This leads me to two possible explanations: she genuinely likes me as she’s stated several times, but wants to just take things slow emotionally. Or, she’s keeping me around for entertainment and games.
    The cynic will agree with the latter, but the rationalist will say to take it slow and keep on keeping on.


    bumbletown88
    Participant
    May 12, 2015 at 1:08 pm #78773

    It sounds like she’s playing games with you to be honest. You’ve already expressed how you feel about her and it’s difficult when you’re not getting the same back in response. I would carry on as you are but try not to get too attached as you might be setting yourself up for a big fall. Just my opinion.