Taking the Next Step


Taking the Next Step

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    May 29, 2016 at 11:29 pm #101607
    Taking the Next Step

    Hi everyone, I’m new here because I have a situation I really haven’t been able to figure out myself.

    I just returned from studying abroad, & while I was there I met a girl who also goes to my home institution. She was in 1 of my classes, & I didn’t really start talking to her until the end of the semester. When I did, I realized that I should’ve talked to her sooner because she had everything I’ve ever wanted. We’ve talked every day since then, and have become good friends.

    The problem is: she’s going abroad the next two semesters & I’m staying home. I’ve been flirting in a friendly way since I heard this but not allowing myself to take the next step because I don’t want to get in the way of her future experiences. She lives about an hour away from me at home, so we won’t be seeing each other too often this summer but we’ll certainly be staying in touch. I can’t tell if she feels the same way I do about her, because she might be acting hesitant for the same reasons I am.

    May 29, 2016 at 11:29 pm #101608

    I’m willing to have a long distance relationship with her, but I can’t say I’m not nervous about it. I haven’t met a girl like her before, and I don’t want to screw it up; so before I do I wanted to run it by you all and see if you have any thoughts on what steps I could take.

    Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.

    May 31, 2016 at 8:56 am #101624

    Hang out with her.

    There’s nothing wrong with going out on a limb and seeing what you guys end up doing once you’re around one another. If the chemistry is there you’ll know.

    Once you know, make your next move from there.

    June 1, 2016 at 12:41 am #101753

    I always trust my gut, but that’s just who I am. If this girl is someone who seems interested in you, as you are of her, then take a chance and try the long distance. My current boyfriend was in Germany studying abroad around this time, last year and we got through it. Now, we’ve hit a different rough patch. My point here is that you can make this kind of thing work, you both have to put in the energy though. I hope this helps 🙂

    June 3, 2016 at 10:41 am #102088

    Nothing wrong in letting the girl know 🙂

    June 5, 2016 at 12:08 am #102180

    definitely let her know!!! Have some fun but I would highly recommend to let the idea go of being with her long distance. It’s one thing to have a developed relationship and then someone goes away for awhile. But to try to start a brand new relationship long distance is entirely unrealistic for so many reasons. Have some fun, but then let her go. Nothing wrong with staying in touch and continuing to develop the friendship, but with the idea that there are no strings attached. When she returns, if the timing is right and the feelings are there, then you deal with it then. Stop worrying about screwing anything up. Life itself is unpredictable and full of all kinds of wonderful and horrible surprises. Don’t let fear stop you from risking and living your day with all ya got. All you have is this moment, so go for it. No matter what happens, you’ll be okay!!!! Trust that about yourself!