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SlevenParticipantJanuary 29, 2018 at 2:44 pm #163744
I’ve been with my SO for 6 years. We are both divorcee’s. We live together – with our kids.
Before we started dating, he had an ex (sort of) that he still was in contact with. She was married and they fooled around behind her husband’s back. It never went too far…or all the way…which, sort of makes it worse.
About 2 years ago, I happened to see his facebook. It wasn’t an intentional snoop starting out. We work together and we use the same computer. I confronted him and told him that I wasn’t willing to be in a relationship with him if he wasn’t committed to our relationship. He was, of course, mad that I had snooped in his facebook. He also said that they are just friends and that he should be able to talk with his friends. Because we own a business together and our livelihood is tied together, I said I would stay, but that the damage had been done and I couldn’t love him like I had before. Things got better between us and have been good since then…until now.
SlevenParticipantJanuary 29, 2018 at 2:52 pm #163745
He left his phone out. It rang. I picked it up to see who it was (again, because we work together and use our phones for biz). In the background was a message from her (the messenger bubbles that pop up and don’t go away til you put them in the trash). So…yes. I looked. Turns out he has been messaging with her since August. All of her texts are normal and conversational. His texts are along the lines of “I want to see you”. NOTE: she lives in another state about 15 hour drive away, so it’s not like he can see her. They text at 10 pm to midnight. They text several times a week.
I know that this will not go anywhere…she is polite and doesn’t engage him when he says things like he wants to see her and wishes they could get together. But, I feel betrayed and unable to do anything about it. If I bring it up to him, it just opens a bigger can of worms (our business, our home, our family).
So, how do I just let this go and go about life as normal?
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