Texting tips… it's complicated. Please read!

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Texting tips… it's complicated. Please read!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    LostinPlace
    Participant
    December 3, 2012 at 7:04 pm #18034
    Texting tips… it's complicated. Please read!

    I met this girl through her sister, when her sister lived as a roommate of mine (4 roommates in total at the time). Eventually, I got her # from messaging her on facebook. We texted a lot at first. Then, she stopped texting so much. So I eventually quit trying to text her. She moved to go to college somewhere else. Then, almost a month ago I texted her. We started texting every so often throughout the weeks. I asked her out to dinner and she said yes and had plans right after. She called it off about 30 minutes before the date. Lately, it seems the texting conversations are fading again. It seems I text her and she only replies once or twice and that’s it. Recently, I had a bad night and wanted to get my head off things (I had already texted twice earlier in the day (both we’re paired to the conversation)). So I texted her, no response. Then on facebook, about 20 minutes later she posts saying something like, If I ever see you, you better hope I bite my tongue. I haven’t texted her since…..

    I don’t know what to do, and I really want to date this girl.

    P.S. I was thinking of texting her today saying, “You are gorgeous, and I don’t just mean skin deep. I saw that since the first day I met you. I don’t have game, just me. I try my best to be honest. So if you’re irritated by me, I would want to know. I tried to not tell you how I truly feel about you, cause I never had before with any other girl. But you, I would rather take that chance, than never telling you. I’m not promising to be perfect, but I promise to try with everything in me to make you happy.” But I haven’t sent it, I saved it on my phone.

    RealAttraction
    RealAttraction
    Participant
    December 4, 2012 at 12:57 am #18036

    Hello LostinPlace,

    For your sake of dignity please don’t send that text. You need to understand that the phone will not build attraction, in fact texting too much or calling too much will just do the opposite. You need to ask her out the first couple texts you ever send her. Great though she accepted a date, if only she didn’t CANCEL 30 min before. What does that tell you about her interest in you? would she cancel on Justin Timberlake?

    A woman who is interested in you will not cancel and if she does she will instantly apologize and try to set a date for a new time. The facebook message probably had nothing to do with you, women are attracted to men who don’t want to get into conversations through text, they test men by using the phone and if the man fails the test her interest goes down. Next time don’t fail the test and use texting to set up the next date then leave the conversation.

    ~ RealAttraction
    “Here to help men understand the psychology of women”


    LostinPlace
    Participant
    December 4, 2012 at 10:10 pm #18176

    Do you think there is anyway of changing that? I don’t mean immediately, but in some way?


    spoodle
    Participant
    December 5, 2012 at 12:07 pm #18203

    Yea, don’t send that text. Although you wanna tell her how you feel, save it for in-person.

    The next time you go out with a group of friends invite her to join. She might be busy, say no or come up with an excuse OR she’ll join and bring a girl friend along to see how it goes. You can only ask, and you can’t keep pushing her into a corner to get what you want. If you want to be honest I’d say “Hey I’d really like to hang out with you sometime, what’s your schedule like for the week?” And set up a lunch date, keep it casual- she might take the bait. If not, move on-it’s too stressful to keep yourself so wound up.


    Anonymous
    December 5, 2012 at 4:47 pm #18270

    I completely agree with everyone! Don’t send the message! It comes across as very desperate. You know why? You are professing that you have all these feelings for her when you haven’t even been on a date with her yet! You are waaaaay to easy my friend! Don’t you think she needs to earn all those feelings you have? She completely leaves you by the curbside 30 minutes before your date and you want to tell her how beautiful she is???? what??? Where are your standards man? All you would do by sending her that message is letting her know that she can walk all over you, treat you as she will and you will still come running back for more. YUK! She will never respect that. Let her go….she is not interested. “Real attraction” is right! If she really liked you, she would have apologized and tried to set up another date.

    Let her go! and go work on setting some serious standards for yourself. Expect to be treated like gold and take nothing less than that! Then…and only then…will you have a better chance at attracting a girl who doesn’t dump you 30 minutes before the date! You deserve better than that!

    RealAttraction
    RealAttraction
    Participant
    December 5, 2012 at 10:02 pm #18288

    I couldn’t have said it better myself

    ~ RealAttraction
    “Here to help men understand the psychology of women”

    RomeoJuliet
    RomeoJuliet
    Participant
    May 6, 2017 at 2:02 am #135604

    hmm..


    alucard94
    Participant
    May 7, 2017 at 7:38 pm #135633

    They are right on setting high standards for yourself! I recommend leaving the texting behind for now on. Better to call her to get a direct answer and if she picks up then she maybe interested. Patience is key man. So important to not come off as needy!


    problemchild
    Participant
    May 12, 2017 at 12:13 pm #136268

    I second the idea of leaving texting behind. Too easy for nuance to drown.


    Zamov
    Participant
    May 14, 2017 at 7:21 am #136373
    Reply To: Texting tips… it's complicated. Please read!

    completely agree with having standards for your self i once sent a girl something similar and trust me it wont have the effect you expect it it just shows her that no matter what she does you will remain by her side and so she might as well do whatever she wants since ur always gonna be there a backup


    Jeff557711
    Participant
    May 20, 2017 at 3:33 am #137056
    Reply To: Texting tips… it's complicated. Please read!

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