The dating game…Pg1

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The dating game…Pg1

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    mcr2013
    Participant
    December 22, 2013 at 5:47 pm #45153
    The dating game…Pg1

    So I am newly into the dating scene again and I have met this amazing guy. We met online and chatted via text and on the phone for quite awhile before meeting. Then we met and oh my goodness it was a great dinner and conversation. As soon as it was over and I was on my way home, I was of course nervous of how the first impression was and then my phone started ringing and he said he had a great time and wanted to go out again. Yay for me! So he wanted to make plans for a second date and the only night we didn’t have our kids was the night of my company Christmas party. So I told him I was going to go make an appearance and then I would plan to go see him. Well…He asks me if I would like him to come to the party with me and then we can spend time together and I can enjoy my friends. So I was shocked and said sure. He met all my friends, my sister, and then as the night progresses I get full of a little too many margaritas and I end up going home with him.


    mcr2013
    Participant
    December 22, 2013 at 5:47 pm #45155

    Of course bad move on my part. But hey the night was amazing. So of course me being an emotional woman I get home and watch my phone like a desperate hawk… Finally he sends me a quick text and I hear nothing for 2 days. Of course I am thinking that it’s over and he never wants to see me again. So he calls and wants to go out on another date. It ended up being late to go do anything so we watched a movie at his place and stayed up talking and laughing until 4am. Now that I have shared every single little detail let me get to my point.
    I know he is still on the dating site and it kills me to think he is dating other women, we have so much in common and laugh and talk together so well, it just feels comfortable 🙂 When is it normal to be exclusive or to talk about it without scaring him off? Should I wait for him to make mention of it?


    Frank2thepoint
    Participant
    December 22, 2013 at 5:58 pm #45158

    I’m going to safely assume by you stating “end up going home with him” meant you had sex with him. Just talk to him and ask what he wants out of this relationship. If you don’t ask, then you will end up driving yourself crazy like you did waiting for his call/text for two days, in addition, he may assume you are okay for having some fun but nothing serious. If by you asking him to be exclusive scares him, remind him to take it slow from now on. If he still doesn’t like the idea, then you know for sure you have a man that is not looking for anything serious.


    emilyover40
    Participant
    December 26, 2013 at 8:15 pm #45359

    I’m wondering how you know that he is still on the dating site…maybe he’s checking on you like you’re checking on him. I honestly think it is too early to talk about being exclusive or even what he wants from this relationship. This early on, that alone would scare me away. I do agree that if you want to continue with this relationship, you need to both slow down. So you made a mistake having sex with him on the first date. Could be he feels the same way. But it says a lot that he hasn’t pressured you to have sex again.

    But if he is still visiting the dating site to meet other women, then guess what? He really isn’t the man for you.


    pink77
    Participant
    December 28, 2013 at 2:55 pm #45410

    I would get out of this situation. You deserve better!


    skyguy
    Participant
    December 30, 2013 at 4:59 pm #45473

    First and foremost, I’ve never dated online so take this advice with caution. That being said, many of my friends have dated via online dating sites so I do have some general knowledge of successes and failures.

    Some dating websites can take awhile to delete your profile. If his profile still being there is an issue, just ask. On the flip side, I know a woman that dating a guy she met online on a legit website. They dated for six months and she got pregnant. After that she found out that he had still been dating other women he met on the same website…she didn’t think to check if his profile was still there or not.

    As far as whether or not the relationship is exclusive…set yourself a threshold to determine that. Follow your head and heart simultaneously. You’ll know when it’s right to have that conversation and it’s not always immediately after the first sexual experience together. My limit is 60 days but honestly my heart intervenes usually way before that.


    SaturnGreed
    Participant
    January 7, 2014 at 9:45 pm #45863

    I’m wondering how you know that he is still on the dating site…maybe he’s checking on you like you’re checking on him. I honestly think it is too early to talk about being exclusive or even what he wants from this relationship. This early on, that alone would scare me away. I do agree that if you want to continue with this relationship, you need to both slow down. So you made a mistake having sex with him on the first date. Could be he feels the same way. But it says a lot that he hasn’t pressured you to have sex again.
    But if he is still visiting the dating site to meet other women, then guess what? He really isn’t the man for you.

    Very sensible answer. I agree with you. If hes not the one, its better to realize it and move on.

    PUAHollywood
    PUAHollywood
    Participant
    January 14, 2014 at 10:24 am #45970

    Definitely move on!!


    gbguy
    Participant
    January 16, 2014 at 6:05 pm #46057

    Move on


    killington1985
    Participant
    January 17, 2014 at 12:05 pm #46083
    Reply To: The dating game…Pg1

    my rule is once I have had sex with a woman its ok to ask if they date casual or they date to find something more long term. The main reason is that its a health issue. If they are just a player I usually end it because I don’t want to be getting the herp. lol

    If there is no sex yet don’t ask because there is no reason too. sex really does change the dynamic in a dating relationship.


    Hammerhead
    Participant
    January 17, 2014 at 7:43 pm #46130
    Reply To: The dating game…Pg1

    I wonder if the expectations were set up front.. Were you both looking for something exclusive? If so, the him being on the dating site after “meeting someone,” means that you do, indeed, deserve better. I know both women and men however who are not willing to be in an exclusive relationship. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to date. Dating is (or at least should be) fun and exciting! I think that people should just be honest with each other. Someone wanting to have fun and date people doesn’t automatically mean that they want to jump into an exclusive relationship. If that’s what you’re after though, let him know and see if you’re both on the same page!


    mcr2013
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:30 pm #45156

    Aside from everything I have shared and as emotional as I sound, I have played it pretty cool with him, like waiting for him to text and call and ask me on a date. I just want to know the routine for dating, the dating structure Lol. Is he really interested in me for dating long term or just a booty call until he searches for someone else? Any advice/feedback would be wonderful! Thank you. 🙂


    mcr2013
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:30 pm #45157

    Aside from everything I have shared and as emotional as I sound, I have played it pretty cool with him, like waiting for him to text and call and ask me on a date. I just want to know the routine for dating, the dating structure Lol. Is he really interested in me for dating long term or just a booty call until he searches for someone else? Any advice/feedback would be wonderful!


    Ashx88
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:34 pm #45504

    happy new year 2014. enjoy your days..
    dating is exactly called a game play..play the game with love and trust