the Friendship card

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the Friendship card

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    sweetmmouse
    Participant
    October 7, 2016 at 1:13 pm #113508
    the Friendship card

    Can someone please explain the friendship card to me. I have been seeing this guy now for over a year. At the beginning we both agreed that we were not looking for the long term relationship. I had just gotten out of a bad marriage and well he says that he just does not have the time. Which for me was fine. In the first 5 months we were together almost everyday like a couple. Then his work started picking up and he got busier. But during the whole 5 months he would call me, come over and stay the night and then he started telling me that he loves me. Okay now i am really confused because this was beginning to look more like a relationship than just friends with benefits. So one day I asked him where we stood and he said that we are really good friends with benefits and that he cares for me a lot.

    Now when we do get closer he throws out the “Friendship” card. but he still has that he loves me and wants to be with me. BTW he is 24 yrs older. Just confused on all this.


    forestrunner190
    Participant
    October 8, 2016 at 11:33 am #113529

    Hard to say.. there are many types of relationships and whatever 2 adults decide is OK between them is up to them. That said, I’d say that your SO is wanting to keep the relationship in the friendship stage.. with love. Which means no commitment. Which also sounds a bit like what you both agreed to in the beginning. Please don’t let the “love” part of it mean that a big change was needed to go along with that. It doesn’t sound like your SO is looking for anything to change, so you’ll have to decide if the relationship, as it is, is a relationship that you are satisfied with.

    October 10, 2016 at 9:16 am #113522

    Sweetmmouse – chances are he’s meaning what he says. He probably enjoys your company and likes being around you, but isn’t willing to commit to a relationship with you. It’s up to you to decide if that’s enough for you or not. If you want more, it doesn’t sound like he’s willing or able to give that to you.


    zuzubots
    Participant
    April 18, 2017 at 6:50 pm #133603

    Seems to me this guy is afraid of the word “commitment”


    Naam
    Participant
    September 8, 2017 at 12:43 am #148564

    It’s sad when a person really close to us do like this. It also happens to me. I can’t even understand where I stand l.