The next step

DATING ADVICE FORUM

The next step

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    cdnrose
    Participant
    September 26, 2017 at 10:21 am #150411
    The next step

    I recently met a guy that I really connected with and we have been meeting up casually for about 7 months. Coffee, a few day trips around doing the tourist type thing and sex a handful of times. His life is very complicated as he is still legally married, still living with his wife but has been separated from her for a least 3 years. He is having an extremely difficult time financially and that’s why they haven’t moved on from their current living situation. I believe all he has told me in this regard but the last couple of months he has become less responsive to calls, texts and to meet up. I was still in a live in relationship when we first met but have since moved on from it, that may have complicated our relationship somewhat. Anyways, he seems to be slipping into a depression due to his home life and financial difficulties. (I said we meet casually but we have exchanged the L word and my feelings for him are stronger then they have been for anyone in my life.)


    cdnrose
    Participant
    September 26, 2017 at 10:27 am #150412

    So he has been less then responsive so I asked him what was up. He basically told me that he doesn’t want to ruin my life and he feels he should be on his own. He was still claiming he loved me up to a couple of days before he said this. I know that depression can make people feel this way but I’ve been through and emotional roller coaster the last couple of months with all his actions for lack of actions. When he said he should be alone I gave a good argument that no one should be alone and I can help him deal with whatever it is he is going through. After a while of no response I felt like maybe his declaration of love wasn’t real and I should back off. I really don’t know what he feels. I was starting to feel foolish for baring my soul to him and eventually told him if he needs to be alone that I have to respect that and that I wish him all the best. His reply was basically just a thanks…
    I’m not sure what to do at this point. I feel like I have abandoned him in a time of


    cdnrose
    Participant
    September 27, 2017 at 9:26 am #150413

    need but I also can’t handle any more rejection or the roller coaster ride I’ve been on. I was considering reaching out to him to see if he is doing ok, to see if he wants to join me on a stress free, no strings attached day of fun like we used to do but I’m unsure. What are you thoughts? Should I leave him to figure life out on his own or should I reach out to him and let him know that I am here, that I didn’t’ just forget about him and abandon him. I am very sensitive to any mental health issues and worry that I can trigger negative thoughts and make things worse 🙁


    cdnrose
    Participant
    September 27, 2017 at 9:44 am #150425

    I feel like I have abandoned him in a time of need even though he asked to be alone. I was considering reaching out to him, to see if he wants to hang out, stress free, no strings attached. I’m nervous about being rejected but I also worry about him and what he is going through, worry about him being alone and my feelings for him are really really deep.
    Should I reach out one last time?