To ignore him or not?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

To ignore him or not?

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  • jet8419
    Participant
    March 3, 2017 at 4:57 am #128919
    To ignore him or not?

    To cut the long story short, a guy who was a co-worker has kept in touch with me on-off over the last few years after I left the company, and we went on a few dates after but nothing came out of it as he was giving very mixed signals. Very last communication we had after our last date 3 years ago was when I asked him out to attend an event, which he agreed but never confirmed a date, and ignored my text, so end of story (or so I thought).

    Fast forward 3 years later, now he suddenly texted, asking how I’ve been and asked if I’m free to catch up next month.

    How should I interpret this?

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    March 3, 2017 at 6:02 pm #129067

    well… i wouldn’t’ link the two together (3 yrs ago from now) b/c things could have completely changed.. peopel can change.
    the only link i might say is maybe he was with somebody or developing sith somebody else and now he’s not.

    if you’re interested in him and want to catch up and are open to either frieneds or more – see him.. spend time with him.. then we’ll know whats up based on how that goes and how he acts.

    A very valid question to ask him is.. “so what happened? you sorta disappeared and now 3 yrs later were’ having a drink? what gives?” (do it LIGHT HEARTEDLY andn ot dead serious like you feel you shoulda got married or something)…

    then all will be answered.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    March 3, 2017 at 6:03 pm #129068

    oh.. but if you have moved on in the last 3 yrs and the idea of him in your life again (for who knows what) doesnt’ sound appealing or you are wary of “here we go again”.. then ignore it.


    JulzC78
    Participant
    March 4, 2017 at 9:14 pm #129081

    Depends on how you feel about him. If you’re single and still interested, then go for it. His life circumstances could have changed completely in 3 years.


    Melanie B
    Participant
    March 4, 2017 at 10:32 pm #129084

    Check it out. If you find out you don’t like hanging out with him, just stop responding to him.


    jet8419
    Participant
    March 5, 2017 at 9:43 pm #129104

    Thanks guys for your opinion. He didn’t mention whether he’s seeing anyone, so i’m not even sure if he’s got a gf. And he takes a few days to reply messages, so we haven’t confirmed the exact time / location we are meeting too (that’s if we are still meeting, cos’ he hasn’t replied my last message).

    That’s where I get a bit confused, cos I’m thinking why on earth would a guy ask a girl out and then act uninterested by taking days to return texts… plus it is a bit embarrassing on my end cos’ he used FB to text me, so old conversations can be seen from before (which recorded 3 years ago, I had asked him out and he completely ignored it then), embarrassing moments I totally don’t want to be reminded of…


    that_guyXD
    Participant
    March 6, 2017 at 12:07 am #129108

    good luck on things (great advice right) XD kms


    jet8419
    Participant
    March 16, 2017 at 5:05 am #130239

    So things are getting weird. we have finally set a date to meet up, but later he mentioned a friend of mine wanted to come along, which turns out this “friend” is actually an acquaintance of mine whom I’ve only met a few times – she’s a client of his company’s, so they have met at work regularly for a while, their last interaction being a month before he suddenly texted me. Apparently, she has been giving him the impression we are very good friends, and told him she would like to catch up with us 2 socially outside of work. (She’s happily married and he knows that too.) So I told him he can ask her along if he wants, but he said he hasn’t got any of her contact details due to professional reasons, and since she’s not my friend, he wouldn’t meet her socially as she’s just his work client and not his friend too, and so preferred to have dinner with me alone.

    So the confusion now – did he genuinely want to catch up with me, or he did that because that “friend” told him to? Strange…


    lillybug1983
    Participant
    March 18, 2017 at 11:45 am #130466

    I think it depends on what you want. If you really like the guy the go for it


    steven
    Participant
    March 19, 2017 at 2:20 am #130491
    Reply To: To ignore him or not?

    try it you wont loose