Totally confused after first date

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Totally confused after first date

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Vivahate
    Vivahate
    Participant
    June 10, 2015 at 8:11 am #80545
    Totally confused after first date

    Hey guys, so here’s my issue:
    Just FYI – male, 29.

    I haven’t been in the dating scene for ages (about 3 years). I’ve been single but pretty much ok with it. I’ve had other things to focus on and sort of blocked that part of my life out. I really don’t fall for girls easily, it is so rare I come across a girl where I feel “ok, something could actually work here”. So I finally felt that way about a girl I met on a site. We swapped heaps of messages and texts for a few weeks. Sometimes taking awhile to reply but when we did they were always long winded on both sides, funny, deep, whatever it be, the signs were good. We decided to meet up and have a date and I was nervous but for the first time in a long time was excited.

    The date seemed to go pretty well, had a few beers in a couple of low key bars and chatted and laughed. She ended up feeling hungry and decided to order food, she bought it for both of us and told me I could return the favour next time

    Vivahate
    Vivahate
    Participant
    June 10, 2015 at 8:15 am #80546

    So we ate and after that were pretty stuffed and she asked me if I would be mad if she called it a night there as she was tired and thought she’d be bad company. I know she was coming off a big night the night before with a birthday event and such. So we wrapped it up rather abruptly from there. I walked her to a cab and asked if she was keen to do it again and she said she was and we hugged and kiss on the cheek goodnight.

    I keep going over the date in my head and analysing it and I don’t think it went bad at all.

    So ever since then she has barely spoken. Only 1 text (in 5 days, used to be multiple each day). I sent her a text the day after thanking for the night out and hoped she got home safe, looked forward to next time etc. Her one text back 2 days later ignored what I said, it was friendly enough but just said she was so busy and felt like she was getting sick. Then nothing since. I feel like I’m now in two minds of whats going on

    Vivahate
    Vivahate
    Participant
    June 10, 2015 at 8:41 am #80547

    Part of me is telling myself she isn’t into it. If she was why did the texting change, why is it so hard to take 30 seconds out of a day to reply? That hurts if so because as I said, I just so rarely come across a girl I click with and we really felt like it was going great. But everything post-date is telling me I’ve missed something.

    But the date seemed to go well, and she was the first one to mention a “next time”. And maybe she is actually sick and all that, hence why I don’t want to push for an answer because you don’t want to be too pushy because if there isn’t an issue you could very well create one. But at the same time I feel really hollow and don’t understand why there is this 180 degree turn from her.

    I want to just slap my brain and tell myself to snap out of it, but at the same time because of the fact it took 3 years just to find something close to this I also sort of want to fight for it to work or understand why its not. So, I don’t know what to do :\


    randomdude8727
    Participant
    June 12, 2015 at 2:26 pm #80807

    Give her another week, then forget her. I’d suggest waiting 2-3 days of saying nothing, then send her a SHORT text “hey so you still down for a second date?” Give her 2-3 days to reply. If no answer, forget her and move on. If she does answer, keep it cool. Don’t say “GREAT!!! 😀 :D” just be like “ok sounds good”.

    The only way to get over a girl you barely know (i.e. online dating), find someone else. It works like magic. As soon as you have another girl interested in you, you’ll forget about this girl.

    Good luck mate!


    taliakay
    Participant
    June 13, 2015 at 10:35 pm #80850

    I know it can be very confusing. Sometimes its because the whole anticipation of meeting someone is over once you meet them and you don’t feel the need to keep in touch as often. But if she continues to ignore you constantly, then I guess its time to move on. Wait for about another week,and you can even straight up ask her, if she’s still interested or not?


    rabijagga
    Participant
    June 16, 2015 at 9:06 am #81036

    Continue your communication with her everyday.If you wouldn’t mind,get some” love quotes” online.Text them in the morning and night for 7 days.Ask her for another date.If she responds,congrats but other wise,move on with your life.Remember,as you work hard to succeed in your work so must you work for your relationship with any woman.Communication is one vital area you should not forget to work on seriously.


    datingninja
    Participant
    July 1, 2015 at 12:38 am #81851

    I’m late on this forum but don’t text girls when setting up a date. It’s ok to text to make sure she made it home but you should of called her a few days later. There’s no “date range” to wait. Just go with what feels right. You call and leave a message to call you back if she doesn’t pick up. If you don’t hear back give it a few days and call once. If she doesn’t respond, move on and don’t look back.

    Don’t make excuses for a girl being “sick”. A girl who is into you will make an effort. If she’s not into you, that’s ok. It wasn’t meant to be. Learn from your dates. Be confident. Have humor. You will “click” with another girl.

    rimiahuja
    rimiahuja
    Participant
    July 5, 2015 at 6:27 am #81989

    Yes it is not a great situation at all. I would like to say try to solve issue after a good thinking.