Tough one…or maybe not?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Tough one…or maybe not?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    sunny
    Participant
    January 4, 2015 at 11:01 am #69851
    Tough one…or maybe not?

    What to do. I met a woman on a popular dating site who is only a couple years different in age, she is 48 and I am 50, and we’ve seeing each other once or maybe twice week for over the past month and actively enjoy each others company. We are both still on this dating site, she is new member, and while I am not actively pursuing anyone else or chatting I can’t help but notice that whenever I do login I see she is active and chatting with others and even while she is at work. I got up in the middle of the night to get a drink when I saw I had a message from someone else that was interested in my profile and when I logged in I saw she was chatting at 3:00 AM. Am I just stupid?

    I realize I have some trust issues that I have to work through from a past cheating (wife) marriage and I am trying to be open an not conditional about her, but I do have some trust issues and I don’t want to start down a bad path again.

    I hope you can understand my position and can offer some advice.
    Thanks

    Roxy
    Roxy
    Participant
    January 4, 2015 at 12:11 pm #69852

    Hi sunny, can completely see where your coming from. When your starting to see someone new and you feel it’s going great but they still are seeing other people can be tough. She hasn’t broken your trust unless you both have had a talk about being exclusive. If you want you guys to be exclusive I would suggest talking to her about it and maybe suggesting cooling off on the dating site until you both know where things maybe heading. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask of her unless she has other intentions and isn’t looking for something serious.


    sunny
    Participant
    January 4, 2015 at 8:13 pm #69862

    Wow…that’s some really good advice…thank you!!


    sunny
    Participant
    January 5, 2015 at 8:22 am #69864

    Something else kind of strange is that I initiate all conversations through the week. She does not call or text unless I text her first…seems very odd considering the intimacy level of the relationship. Any insight?


    Anonymous
    January 5, 2015 at 8:22 am #69866

    i think you must give to your self some time to understand the women very will 🙂


    Anonymous
    January 5, 2015 at 9:26 am #69887

    I agree with the last mension. You shouldn’t rush)


    Anonymous
    January 5, 2015 at 3:33 pm #69916

    Have you had the exclusive conversation yet??


    Anonymous
    January 5, 2015 at 3:35 pm #69917

    I think women prefer to be pursued!! I know I LOVE that my hubby hunted me down in the day!!


    whaleman12
    Participant
    January 5, 2015 at 6:31 pm #69935

    Are you sure she is chatting maybe she is just logged in and it shows that she is chatting. You probably need to talk with her and see her intent. But dont force anything.. It should flow naturally


    sunny
    Participant
    January 5, 2015 at 8:20 pm #69939
    Reply To: Tough one…or maybe not?

    Thanks for all feedback. She’s actually on my main dating page because she is a recent viewer of my profile. Typically it show online status unless she is IM or instant messaging.

    Here’s where the rubber meets the road. She recently asked me to meet her kids 17 and 16 which I take pretty serious . A couple nights later I get up to get a drink in the middle of the night 2-3 in the morning and I see I have a couple message from other Matches. I login just to see her profile is online and it just switched to IM instant messaging before my eyes. I feel like I am getting mixed signal because she appears to make more effort to IM at 2 to 3 in the morning with a new interest than she does me during the day. I am trying give her space and no conditions but I am getting mixed message and I am starting question her real motives. Am I crazy or is it her:)

    No we have not had the exclusive talk this just all kind happened pretty quick.


    greeneyedtaurus
    Participant
    January 28, 2015 at 4:01 am #72008
    Reply To: Tough one…or maybe not?

    Excuse me Sonny but i have a question for you, its 2-3 in the morning & you check to see if you have any “messages from other matches” why are you logging in? To catch or see if she’s doing the same?