Tougher for Men?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Tougher for Men?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 23, 2014 at 10:15 pm #69580
    Tougher for Men?

    I wanted to pose this question, which is based off of my own personal experiences. Do women have it easier than men in terms of dating? I feel that they absolutely do, and here’s why. It seems likes a gender thing that men are just expected to reach out and initiate the connection between men and women. For me, I REALLY struggle with this. I am a shy person and really could thrive off of a woman who initiated a relationship with me. It would be so much easier for me and other people like me if women were being held to that same relationship/dating standard. I’m loyal, kind, warm-hearted, and have enough perks for women to latch on to I believe, but that’s never the case in terms of who’s putting themselves out there. I’ve put myself out to a girl before who brutally shot me down, whether she knew it or not. It’s because of things like this that I believe that men in fact have it tougher than women. Thoughts?

    December 24, 2014 at 9:10 pm #69600

    I hate it whenever people make the argument “for every girl that has a boyfriend, that guy has a girlfriend” whenever there is a debate about which gender has it harder, tougher in dating, relationships, duh I know the meaning of that phrase, BUT THE GUY HAS TO DO ALL OF THE GOD DAMN FUCKIN’ WORK IN ORDER TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!!!!, all women have to do is welcome or deny advances, that doesn’t require much social effort.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 24, 2014 at 11:47 pm #69602

    I don’t like to make it seem that all women are just waiting for a guy to do all of the initial work, but it seems like most of the time that is the case. I can admit to myself that I’m not the hottest guy around or have the fanciest cars/materials, but I am college educated, very well dressed and well kept, and am a very caring and generous person with a nice personality. I want for somebody to approach me and say “Hey, do you maybe wanna do something sometime?”, instead of me having to do everything. I know it’s about compromise and meeting half-way, but it seems like I am the one putting myself out there and getting my self-esteem crushed all the time.


    InnerFire
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 4:04 am #69621

    In my opinion, it’s not a general rule. Depends on the culture of the society they live in, and some other factors. But usually, yes, they do tend to have it a bit easier than guys. If we talking about a normal situation that is, like nice educated girl and nice educated guy. For jerky macho guy and naive needy girl, or other way around, it’s a whole different story.


    PaulCooper818
    Participant
    December 27, 2014 at 4:59 am #69642

    For me being tougher is not about the gender of a persons.It is about how you handle situation.

    December 27, 2014 at 4:10 pm #69650

    the way I see it, is that for guys, men, it’s literally a matter of knowing how to get a girlfriend, a relationship, for girls it’s not a matter of knowing how.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 27, 2014 at 4:33 pm #69652

    It just seems to me too that for women, they know what most men want. If they got what men want, they dont’ have to work at it. If they don’t really have or lack what men want, then they have to be a little more aggressive and somewhat flirty. For men, it’s almost always setting up dates, putting yourself out there first, making all the initial moves, and everything that goes with dating. It just sucks…


    PresAndrew
    Participant
    December 27, 2014 at 10:23 pm #69653

    It depends on what you mean by easy. In the world of online dating for instance, women are absolutely bombarded with messages. Men can send out hundreds of messages without any replies. Now, women will tell you that it’s super hard to sort through all of those messages and they have it very tough. I think that’s a tough sell. I get that it many be overwhelming at times, but you can’t convince me that having options to choose from is somehow worse than having no options at all. Not to mention the confidence blow to constant rejection that men face. In the real world, I think it’s more balanced. So yeah–for sure date in the real world if at all possible.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 27, 2014 at 11:22 pm #69656

    I’m the type of person who knows and understands my personal flaws, so I always try to use my strengths to my advantage. I’m a good listener, I am very caring and compassionate, I put people who I care about ahead of myself, and I think I’m a fairly attractive person. You would think that if I were to ask somebody out that I could get a response that wasn’t cold and mean…but no, nothing at all. I understand that women have their own struggles and issues to go through that I cannot even begin to imagine, but damn I wish they could be in my shoes for just a little while to see just how tough it really is to meet somebody and to share with somebody whom you’re interested in.


    help10941
    Participant
    December 27, 2014 at 11:32 pm #69658
    Reply To: Tougher for Men?

    Its definitely tougher for men. And it seems like there’s nothing you can do about. Men have to put in so much more effort, and accept when women act crazy,

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 28, 2014 at 2:42 am #69661
    Reply To: Tougher for Men?

    I’d love to get a woman’s perspective on this. Is there a way to get this onto the women’s section of the forum?

    December 28, 2014 at 2:55 pm #69674
    Reply To: Tougher for Men?

    ya and don’t forget women are always constantly testing men


    alinicole
    Participant
    December 28, 2014 at 6:12 pm #69677
    Reply To: Tougher for Men?

    I know nothing! I literally wonder on a daily bases why guys make the choices they make.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 28, 2014 at 7:08 pm #69681
    Reply To: Tougher for Men?

    May I ask alinicole what you mean when you say the choices that guys make?


    chloedermas
    Participant
    December 30, 2014 at 7:57 am #69727
    Reply To: Tougher for Men?

    For me as a woman, it is not eay to find a date.
    But I guess in terms of general rule of dating, you could say men may have tougher time since they are mostly likely – although not always – the ones who initiate women.

    Then again, there are women who have no problems with going up and asking guys out. I am certainly not one of them lol

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