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bigtuna49ParticipantMay 13, 2014 at 3:58 pm #52766
I know this girl is toxic, but I just want to hear what you have to say.
I was talking to this girl for about a month. She was very flakey and not very attentive but she did flirt.
Took her out on a date, thought it went well. Texted her the next day about it. Never received a response. Little bummed about it, so for closure, i sent her a message three to four days later and said..
“Hey, no hard feelings. I apologize for jumping the gun (realized i had kissed her a little too soon) and making you feel awkward. Best of luck to you. take care.”
She immediately replied with “? um Sorry I didn’t text you right back? I had a really busy weekend and last day of school. but okay.”
I already can tell what she’s trying to do here, taking the blame off of herself for never texting me back and making me look the crazy person.
Am I right?
I didn’t message her back. I am not feeding her any more ammo to knock me down.
b.millarParticipantMay 15, 2014 at 2:11 am #52905
I don’t think anyone these days truly doesn’t “forget” to text back, and her response wasnt to frirndly, i think you already know the answer
kevinalexanderParticipantMay 16, 2014 at 2:35 pm #53041
Bigtuna49, I have a solution to your problem, which is going to be both good and bad news for you.
Bad news: it’s not the girl – it’s you.
Good news: because it’s you – you can work on it.
1. Don’t mess with girls who are flakey and non attentive after talking with them for a month. That says more about you for putting up with that, than it does about her for delivering what you were clearly buying.
2. Never apologise for kissing a girl when the moment felt right. It’s her job to decline you, not your job to decline yourself or regret what you did.
3. She probably was just busy, but regardless the vibe I get is a very needy nice guy. Which is not attractive, and is why she’s not investing much time or energy in you.
Get out there, go to the gym, work on yourself, build that self-esteem, date lots and lots, of girls (1-2 per week is nominal) and eventually you’ll start to see these kinds of “toxic girls” go to the way side.
djg3665ParticipantMay 16, 2014 at 4:13 pm #53053
I agree. By apologizing for kissing her, you gave her control of the relationship. If you truly want to see this girl again, you need to get some of the control back.
Say something like, “I thought about it and I decided to give you another chance. I am going to ….” A psychological game but it works.
emkay2ParticipantMay 16, 2014 at 5:47 pm #53074
I think the way that she answered back was a bit “pin it on him”. You seemed to put it right. you kept it mutual sounding, appologetic, and closed. The fact that she answered her way is a sign in my opinion that she is still fishing around.
jabawokParticipantMay 17, 2014 at 10:38 am #53085
If someone is a flake towards you, it will be very difficult or impossible to change their perception of you. I’d recommend focusing resources on a person who will give you an equal investment. Games are for teenagers. If you decide to pursue this more, also date 3 or 4 other women do you won’t care. Best of luck on the battlefield!
johnjParticipantMay 18, 2014 at 6:29 am #53116
If you are getting that kind of response now, think what it would be like a few years down the line…there is someone more suitable for you out there
AnonymousMay 19, 2014 at 8:17 am #53130
Well good for you, some girl just don’t understand guys, but I don’t believe in the kissing too soon thing, there is no perfect timing. If she likes it she let you do it, if she don’t she should have pushed you back. So don’t blame yourself if you kiss her too soon she like it too but maybe there is something that bothers her. If you like her wait for her to text you and if she don’t then you are right she is just too toxic to deal with.
kevin2918ParticipantMay 19, 2014 at 11:57 am #53156
I think girls like it when you kiss them soon… I think it definitely adds some points on your relationship.
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