Toxic Relationship?

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Toxic Relationship?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2017 at 6:41 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Sunglow79
    Participant
    April 14, 2013 at 1:42 pm #28524
    Toxic Relationship?

    I have been with this girl for almost a year. Before this I was single for 3 years recovering from a broken heart. Right off the bat she was very sexual, she kinda swooped me up I guess because I had been alone for so long. In the beginning “honeymoon” stage it was cloud nine blah blah blah. But there were things that made me really wonder if this was good. She would say things like she has connections to spirits and would say she could feel the spirit of an old mentor of mine that had passed away. She would also say that we are soul mates, that was kinda creepy. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she was super kind to me. Like the nicest person I have ever been with , borderline enabler, which isn’t very healthy for me. My background is I come from a loving family on my Mothers side but I never knew my Dad. He was an alcoholic. And I have battled with alcoholism but am now sober, so I try to live a positive life now ya know? Her background is her moms a crazy neurotic, her step dads brain is fried from drugs, and her Dad is an ex con that goes on benders where she has to play mommy with him. So basically shes got no real family. and she has 2 friends. She constantly reminds me of how hard her life is compared to mine, and ever since she started this new high stress job I seemed to have turned into an emotional punching bag. We fight now almost every other week, and if its not a fight its drama, like she doesn’t know where to go with her life she wants a new job . I am literally starting to feel my life force being sucked out of me. Now she has changed the cards where before it was me who wore the pants, now she is trying to. Its just not how I roll, I have great respect for women, don’t get me wrong. She just got suspended from her job, comes to me as the first person she tells dumps this whole story on me, never asking how I am doing “her MO” I leave a card, chocolate, and a candle on her patio to surprise her, she gives a slight thanks, and now when we talk she says I’m stressing her out and makes it my fault, not to mention she misinterprets everything I say. I never had parents that were together when I was growing up so I don’t know if this is normal or what, im so confused and I feel like my mind is being played with. Any feedback or suggestions is greatly appreciated!

    OrlandoJoe
    OrlandoJoe
    Participant
    April 15, 2013 at 12:21 pm #28741

    I see what she might’ve done to hook you in. It started sexually, she used her looks (probably because that’s all she knew to use without the mature guidance of a stable family) and has hooked you into her problems. You’re not dating the kind-hearted young woman anymore. She’s dependent on your finances and your secure sense of what’s right or wrong. She doesn’t know up from down or left from right.

    She doesn’t seem to take criticism very well either because she has probably been told negative things her whole life. If you want to take this adventure with her, you have to hold her hand through it. It’ll be an emotional roller coaster but if you want to invest your time with this, try to go to a counselor. I think she needs positive reinforcement and a cheering squad to get her through all the negative feelings she has of herself.