Trying to figure out my situation


Trying to figure out my situation

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    July 14, 2016 at 1:18 pm #105226
    Trying to figure out my situation

    Met a woman on an app two weeks ago. We began talking and had a lot in common & exchanged numbers the first night of speaking. I started texting her the next day . We didn’t speak for two days and she texted me asking if I’d like to hang out when she came back from out of town the next week. We spoke off and on until then, she arrived back and we went out two days later. I had the most amazing first date I could have imagined and we went out for drinks for 6.5 hours. We kissed several times and she told me she was not dating anyone else and felt a connection & wanted to keep dating to see where this goes. Spoke off and on the next few days. . I sent a text few days later asking if she wanted to go out again this week to which she said doesn’t think ready to date at the moment and was a “mess” the week before when we began hanging out.. so what gives? I know we both had a connection, play it cool and try to make contact eventually?

    July 15, 2016 at 4:11 pm #105391

    You say you met the woman “on an app”. Am I correct in thinking that it was a DATING app? (I’m kind of ignorant about such things because I HATE using my prepaid cell phone for “apps”. If I used online dating at all, I’d use it with my laptop computer, with a REAL keyboard.)

    I once joined a dating service in Chicago. I only got one date out of the experience. Basically, the date was a dismal failure. I handed the woman a nice bouquet of flowers I’d bought for the occasion. Only moments later, she said, “I think you should know that I’m not really looking for a relationship.”

    I thought, “For crying out loud, woman. I didn’t randomly meet you at church or in connection with one of my jobs. I got this date with you SPECIFICALLY because you and I had joined the SAME dating service (Great Expectations). If you didn’t want a relationship, you should NEVER have joined a dating service in the first place.”

    Tell your woman the same thing, if applicable.

    July 15, 2016 at 4:26 pm #105397

    Recent stats indicated that somewhere around 50% of people on Tinder were in a serious relationship. You never know what you are going to get on a first date, second date or 10th date for that matter. I take what people say with a grain of salt UNTIL i see that their actions can actually support their words. I have heard your story a million times! The date went amazingly well, there was a definite strong connection and then someone disappears or pulls back…randomly and without any real reason or explanation. RUN the other way!!! If someone is treating you like this on the very first date, that’s a HUGE RED FLAG! I don’t care how strong of a connection you had…she either was not being honest with you about her situation or she got scared and wants to run. Either way…she is already showing how unpredictable and unstable she is…you are in for a serious roller coaster ride if you continue forward. Disconnect now while it’s easier!!!

    July 19, 2016 at 10:37 am #105757

    Well for what’s it worth.. I left out the fact that she recently has gotten divorced in December and hasn’t really been dating anyone. In my mind now it seems as though it is just some type of fear or wanting to take things slow (again women are altogether unpredictable). I have talked to her again a few times recently and the last thing I said to her is if in time you’d like to get to know each other as friends or whatever without the dating label I’d be totally open. Which her response was thank you, that’s very kind and I appreciate that. So.. I still want to give it time (we all have mutual friends and somewhat of the same social circle) so I’m sure we’ll cross paths naturally. I just haven’t felt a connection to someone like this so fast before and was completely under the impression she felt the same way (in fact, her words)– so I’m just going to go with the flow..

    July 24, 2016 at 11:54 am #106349

    Dating apps or “Apps” aren’t a good way to begin a relationship. It messes with your head.

    July 24, 2016 at 12:40 pm #106351

    I’m thinking about quitting apps as well. Just seems like they don’t work for me.

    July 25, 2016 at 2:52 am #106375

    hi 😀 How to court the girl ? i need advice

    July 25, 2016 at 10:35 am #106407

    Hi trendsett3r! Not sure of your situation. Did you start a thread that I can respond to?

    July 30, 2016 at 12:32 pm #106970

    I disagree… Met a girl on one and we hit it off and she was great. We ended it when I moved away.

    July 31, 2016 at 11:02 pm #106991
    Reply To: Trying to figure out my situation

    Yes contact her man.