trying to gauge if he is somewhat interested.

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trying to gauge if he is somewhat interested.

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    rubyredgems
    Participant
    August 17, 2015 at 7:49 pm #84264
    trying to gauge if he is somewhat interested.

    i have had a casual relationship with a man. We went on a few dates and then have had sleepovers. At the start he was initiating texts and such, but now it has mostly come down to just setting up times to hang out. When we do hang out, we always have a really awesome time, but then it could be a couple of weeks before i hear from him. He is always repsonds to me whenever I text, but he doesn’t really try to hold a convo (although he has never done that really..). Whenever I initiate a hang out, he is always willing as well. The last time, when he couldn’t hang out when i wanted, he seemed to feel bad and immediately planned something for the next day. Not sure if it was because he was afraid of losing a hookup buddy, or because maybe there is a little something more to his feelings? or maybe both..who knows. at any rate, i guess i’m starting to want more (ah the beauty of casual relationships) and i know i just need to ask him, or let it fizzle because he most likely (see below..)


    rubyredgems
    Participant
    August 17, 2015 at 7:49 pm #84265

    is not that into me..or he would show it..but could it be possible that i’ve played it cool too, so he thinks i’m not interested, and thus tries to play it cool on his end? he definitely knows that i’m still dating around even though i’ve never come out and said it (as is he), and i don’t text him every day or every other day, i usually wait awhile before either he texts me first or i text him, but very nonchalant. most of our texts lately, again, have been around coming over for sleepovers, but sometimes if i ask if he wants to grab a quick drink, he’ll say yes, even if he has other stuff going on…

    is it worth a chat with him or is he really just a nice guy who doesn’t want to be a jerk, but also doesn’t want to lose his hook up buddy or potential fall back option?


    aspala
    Participant
    August 17, 2015 at 9:26 pm #84269

    It appears as if you’re testing out the waters and trying to play by his supposed rules, but in actuality, you really just want to know what his deal is… does he want to date you or just hook up with you. I think playing by his rules is sending mixed signals. My advice is to have a raw, transparent conversation with him outside of the bedroom about how you are interested in taking this further than just causal sleepovers. If he’s willing to hear you out completely and seems to appear engaged and eager to learn about your feelings, I’m sure he is down for wanting more as well. He’s already half-way in an emotional relationship with you anyways if he’s very responsive and willing to drop things to hang out. And despite the potential hurt that may amount after admitting your feelings, you’ll at least have closure with the “does he or doesn’t he” mystery that’s been weighing heavy on your mind as of late.


    rubyredgems
    Participant
    August 18, 2015 at 9:50 pm #84363

    thanks! it’s now been 1.5 weeks since we last communciated, the last time was when i saw him as described above…i don’t want to text him beacuse i feel like he would’ve reached out if he wasn’t trying to fade away?