Undefined relationship

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Undefined relationship

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    notforreal
    Participant
    January 18, 2014 at 4:43 pm #46135
    Undefined relationship

    Hi, everyone. This is my first post here. I hope you can help me with this. I have been seeing a guy (let’s call him Josh) for almost a year and I’m starting to get really confused about our relationship. We met the first time a year ago when we both joined the same political association. We had an instant attraction towards each other and hooked up at a party soon after our first meeting. After that we met 1-2 times a week at the association’s meetings and then occasionally hung out just us two (talking, having a couple of beers + sleeping with each other). Although we did not really date during the first months, it was very obvious that we were very attracted to and interested in one another. However, I had an unresolved issue with my ex where we had a back and forth relationship and because of that I never initiated any dates with Josh (but I always said yes when he asked me out). I guess I appeared as quite distant to him.


    elio
    Participant
    January 19, 2014 at 9:22 pm #46152

    It’s definitely a different sort of relationship as you describe it, are you hesitant to ask Josh out?


    miss-kitty
    Participant
    January 19, 2014 at 11:24 pm #46155

    if you like him and you want something more than just hooking up you need to talk about it and define your relationship. I have been through were it was not and it was easy for him to just date me and another person because he assumed I would be ok with it. so you definitely need to talk to him about it


    Jhouse1986
    Participant
    January 21, 2014 at 9:04 am #46242

    Seems like you both need to voice what you want out of the relationship.


    Aurore
    Participant
    February 4, 2014 at 3:29 pm #47179

    You have resolve one to start another. Serious multi dating is tough unless you are a pro or casual.


    knight0718
    Participant
    February 4, 2014 at 4:25 pm #47192

    First of all, end things with your ex. No relationship is healthy if you are just playing games back and forth. Second, talk to Josh and let him know how you feel. But be prepared of the fact that he might not feel the same. Up until this point he’s been ok with just being your “friend with benefits” so it seems that maybe that’s all he wants. But I guess you’ll never know until you try.


    notforreal
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:42 pm #46136

    Three months ago I cut off all contact with my ex for once and for all. Soon after that I asked Josh out. Since then we have hung out much more frequently. When we hang out we have dinners, long conversations, a lot of laughter and a lot of sex. We really have a strong physical attraction towards each other and I also feel that we have many things to share intellectually. We’ve now seen each other almost every week-end and it is always great when we meet. However, we rarely call or text each other when we are apart. I do not take much initiative to call or text or even ask him out for dates. I personally don’t have the need to constantly stay in touch with Josh although I like him very much. I need space and I also want to give him space. But I’m afraid that it might appear as cold to him and that it is keeping him from taking more initiatives….


    notforreal
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:42 pm #46137

    Three months ago I cut off all contact with my ex for once and for all. Soon after that I asked Josh out. Since then we have hung out much more frequently. When we hang out we have dinners, long conversations, a lot of laughter and a lot of sex. We really have a strong physical attraction towards each other and I also feel that we have many things to share intellectually. We’ve now seen each other almost every week-end and it is always great when we meet. However, we rarely call or text each other when we are apart. I do not take much initiative to call or text or even ask him out for dates. I personally don’t have the need to constantly stay in touch with Josh although I like him very much. I need space and I also want to give him space. But I’m afraid that it might appear as cold to him and that it is keeping him from taking more initiatives.


    notforreal
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:42 pm #46138

    Three months ago I cut off all contact with my ex for once and for all. Soon after that I asked Josh out. Since then we have hung out much more frequently. When we hang out we have dinners, long conversations, a lot of laughter and a lot of sex. We really have a strong physical attraction towards each other and I also feel that we have many things to share intellectually. We’ve now seen each other almost every week-end and it is always great when we meet. However, we rarely call or text each other when we are apart. I do not take much initiative to call or text or even ask him out for dates. I personally don’t have the need to constantly stay in touch with Josh although I like him very much. I need space and I also want to give him space. But I’m afraid that it might appear as cold to him and that it is keeping him from taking more initiatives…


    notforreal
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:42 pm #46139

    Three months ago I cut off all contact with my ex for once and for all. Soon after that I asked Josh out. Since then we have hung out much more frequently. When we hang out we have dinners, long conversations, a lot of laughter and a lot of sex. We really have a strong physical attraction towards each other and I also feel that we have many things to share intellectually. We’ve now seen each other almost every week-end and it is always great when we meet. However, we rarely call or text each other when we are apart. I do not take much initiative to call or text or even ask him out for dates. I personally don’t have the need to constantly stay in touch with Josh although I like him very much. I need space and I also want to give him space. But I’m afraid that it might appear as cold to him and that it is keeping him from taking more initiatives. We have never discussed how we define our relationship…


    Hammerhead
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:43 pm #46149

    Are you still involved in the “back and forth relationship” with your ex?