V Confusing Please Help

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V Confusing Please Help

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    caolannb1
    Participant
    September 22, 2017 at 11:59 am #150029
    V Confusing Please Help

    Hi, basically I met this guy tinder and we hit it off immediately. We had the same type of humour. He opened up saying that he was cheated on in his last relationship and following that he slept around a lot but that he’s not interested in that anymore. We were both waiting for university to start up again so spent the majority of everyday talking on Snapchat and Facetime for about 2 weeks. At the beginning he seemed to believe that I was a fuckgirl and was talking to several other guys. I told him I was talking to one other at that time and he admitted there was one other girl he was talking to from college last year but nothing had happened between them. However he lived on the other side of the country so we weren’t going to get to meet until he moved up to the city where I live, for college. He happened to be really good friends with my best friends friend and this friend was insistent that he is a really bad guy, a fuckboy who is just playing with my feelings to get what he wants


    omglifeisweird
    Participant
    September 25, 2017 at 7:06 am #150120

    If your best friend’s friend says he is a really bad guy, you should trust that. It’s hard when someone tells you everything you want to hear, so you think they’re great. but a fuckboy will be fuckboy and toy with your emotions, I have yet to hear a good ending. Especially when coming from your BEST friend’s friend… those friends are friends for a reason, because they care about you. There is no reason they should want to tell you anything but the truth, and warn you if someone you’re talking to isn’t going to be a happy ending. I would ditch him, if it really is meant to be you have to make him really want it, and you can’t let him have the control because that’s what he’s used to. You have to be confident, and act as though you’d be happy whether or not he stays in your life.


    caolannb1
    Participant
    September 25, 2017 at 8:48 am #150031

    CONTINUED When I heard this, I put up my usual barrier and he picked up on it. I told him about my trust issues and previous experiences and admitted that I was actually talking to more people than I’d initially said I was, so how was I to know he wasn’t doing the same. He promised he wasn’t but seemed genuinely upset about what I’d said. I reassured him honestly that what we had was superior to what I may have with the other guys. Although we continued talking after this, it is only in hindsight that I see he did change a bit after that. He used to claim he was punching, that I was too good for him, why would I be interested in him, he used to talk about doing really exciting things with me, like hikes and stargazing. We met the day he moved up for college, had a coffee and surprisingly we got on just as well as we did on text. Once college started for him, (we dont attend the same college, mine didnt start until 2 weeks after his) obviously the amount of time we spent talking was cut


    caolannb1
    Participant
    September 25, 2017 at 9:37 am #150032

    because of his lectures and time he was spending with friends, and we havent Facetimed at all. For that first week he kept insisting on me visiting his place. Considering we needed more time to spend talking and just chilling, when he suggested a movie at his on Saturday, I agreed to go, under the condition that nothing sexual would happen. even though we didn’t necessarily stick to our word, he was very respectable. After that, conversation was a tiny bit dry but it wasn’t awkward, and I went home fairly happy with the time we’d spent together. Now, a few days after, I hear from my friend what his friend had to say about him. She said that he’s doing exactly what he’s doing with me with 5 other girls, since he’d moved up to the city. This was what I was afraid of, but I decided not to bring it up with him and see if he’d graft for me more if I started to take the pedal off a bit. Unfortunately a few nights after, I got drunk and drunk texted him what I’d heard.


    caolannb1
    Participant
    September 25, 2017 at 9:52 am #150033

    I told him it wasn’t that I believed it, I just thought he should know that I’d heard it, especially considering some of the shit I’ve been through in the past. He said I’ve been through shit too, and it’s always because of these rumours. Later that day he gave out to his friend. He went on to ask was this my way of ending it and I said no I really dont want to end this, and I apologised. Then we took a breather for a few hours and we’re back to normal. I hate to say it but I still cant help being cynical. I dont know if he’s telling the truth, and maybe that was his way of trying to end this. I mean he can be dry, but then he is a socially awkward person and he can be lazy sometimes, but if I knew if he had genuine feelings for me I’d put that down to him being a lad. I’m waiting for him to plan our next meeting, cause that was the plan, but he hasn’t mentioned it since that Saturday, which was a week ago. It’s been a month and a bit since we started talking


    caolannb1
    Participant
    September 25, 2017 at 9:53 am #150034

    It’s been discussed that if things continue to go well, we’re both open to a relationship. Yes I’m still talking to other guys from tinder, but I’m not leading them on in any way, and I would be more than willing to stop talking to them, if it meant I could be with this guy, but I dont want to bring that up again with him, because I think I might be approaching this a bit to intensely, especially if he’s just lying to me. I’m really confused about this whole thing. Please help.


    thomrose524
    Participant
    September 25, 2017 at 9:54 am #150084

    Who do you trust more? It is certainly within the realm of possibility that he is just telling you what you want to hear. Tinder is mostly for hooking up, not for relationships, so consider where you met him, too.