Very shy girl avoids me on purpose? Why?

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Very shy girl avoids me on purpose? Why?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    viking
    Participant
    July 9, 2016 at 12:21 pm #104786
    Very shy girl avoids me on purpose? Why?

    I’ve known this very shy girl for about a year now, the last six months we’ve texted quite a bit on FB (we don’t live in the same town) and become real close, that includes teasing/flirting. We’ve also met live short periods of time (30 min.) I really like her and she has accepted every hug I have given her, with happy eyes and a smile on her face.

    Yet, it is always I who have started the majority of our conversations online. The last month she has replied slower than she used to, usually with one word answers and “thumbs up”. Still, we’ve met a couple of times and I met her last Thursday. I bought her flowers (red and white roses) as a surprise gift for her birthday + birthday card. She got them at her work.

    After that, 3-4 days passed and she has gone completely silent. She is active on FB, but doesn’t read my messages. I’ve sent her one SMS, but no reply.
    Why would she leave me in the dark with no explanation? What is wrong? How can I get to her when she won’t reply?

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  viking.
    • This topic was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  viking.

    Jccheen87
    Participant
    July 11, 2016 at 8:15 am #104794

    oh so sad Maybe she lost interest .. or i dont know you should call her


    Louie97
    Participant
    July 11, 2016 at 9:46 pm #104914

    mhm being a shy girl myself I can relate to constantly leaving it up to the other person to initiate convo :/ I have no doubt in my mind that she appreciate d your gift giving on her bday. Maybe, just maybe, she sees how serious you are about her and is ignoring you until she can decide whether she wants to take things to the next level with you or not. I hope my advice was helpful.


    catpin
    Participant
    July 12, 2016 at 8:41 am #104929

    I’m sorry to say it, but it sounds like she’s trying to phase you out. She doesn’t want to hurt you by telling you she’s not interested so tries to act more distance, hoping you’ll take the hint. Your best bet is to bring things back a few notches on your end and maybe she’ll miss what she had and will come back. Otherwise, it might be time to move on.


    Pazza
    Participant
    July 15, 2016 at 7:07 am #105305

    I’d like to think you are right, though it could go either way. I’m in a similar situation and just don’t understand how a shy girl works, or more importantly, how to push it over the line. She says she’s shy, but when we meet she was drunk and all over me.


    viking
    Participant
    July 16, 2016 at 5:41 pm #105475

    Update. We’re now in touch again, yet she never initiates any messages on SMS nor FB. She answers some of my messages, but not all.
    I still don’t get it. Obviously, she wants to keep in touch, otherwise she could just have unfriended me on FB and/or told me not to contact her again.
    Is she only nervous? I’ve messaged her that I want to meet up when she has the time to do so, but so far no response, but at least she now reads my messages.
    What’s up with this girl, and how can I approach her?


    viking
    Participant
    July 18, 2016 at 8:57 am #105508

    Thank for all good advice here, still, I have never revealed any feelings for her, we’ve been friends for a year, and although we’ve flirted and teased a bit, our hugs have been welcomed for both.

    I’m very sure that she also felt that these hugs were a notch more that just friendship hugs, and she enjoyed them every time.

    When I personally delivered flowers to her at her work for her birthday, I’ve never seen her so happy, her eyes sparkling, she even looked at me all the time I walked out.

    I also underlined our good friendship when giving her the flowers. It was after the flowers she became so quiet, and this is something I don’t understand. Was I too quick to act? She got the flowers at her work, but there was almost no-one around, so she couldn’t really have been embarrassed. I said I was hoping she could find a day to meet up (she works a lot), maybe I should have given her a specific date?


    viking
    Participant
    July 26, 2016 at 5:49 pm #106726

    And now she’s in contact with me again, saying that she is sorry but has been extremely busy at work, working double-shifts etc.
    I still don’t understand her, she is the one who contacts me now, and when I answer her politely and try to get a conversation going, she can go silent on me again for a couple of days… Why? Is this due to her shyness?
    She never ever suggests a day that we can meet up, but keeps in touch. I haven’t asked her to meet on a specific date either because I don’t want to pressure her in any way. Help please!