Wanting a man's advice – Acquaintance, Friend, or More?

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Wanting a man's advice – Acquaintance, Friend, or More?

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    RaeRae87
    RaeRae87
    Participant
    January 17, 2014 at 1:15 am #46062
    Wanting a man's advice – Acquaintance, Friend, or More?

    Acquaintance, Friend, / More?
    I went to an event that my crush & his friends were the band. When he saw me, he was shocked/surprised. Had a friendly small chat before they started to play. Afterwards, he came over & asked, “So, how did Esther like the music?” (had my Golden w/ me). Me, having a ‘non-thinking’ moment, answered, “Well, she didn’t care for the drums, but got over it.” Might have been a smirk on his face after that. **After the event, I thought back & realized that he more than likely was asking how I liked the music.
    At another interaction, he seemed like he had a great time (this was a dance). During part of the evening, the group had sung “Happy Birthday” to me. After that, my crush said something about that I’m ‘now an old lady’. I know he was jokingly saying this. We went on and chatted some more. He did give me a birthday card.
    Could my crush be a ladies man / is he showing me he likes me?

    RaeRae87
    RaeRae87
    Participant
    January 17, 2014 at 1:17 am #46063

    I went by his work and gave him a tin of goodies. (Also gave a tin to his employees.) He kinda bragged to his employees that he has his very own tin. There was some joking around with all who were present.
    I did give him my cell number in the Christmas card to him (on the back of my business card). I really want to have more of a relationship with him (even if it is more of a friendship than what we have, though I currently believe I would like more than that). I am currently wondering if giving him my number was too forward of an action.
    What do you think?

    RaeRae87
    RaeRae87
    Participant
    January 22, 2014 at 12:41 am #46327

    I have been told, at times, that I can be TOO forward and forcing a relationship / friendship with the opposite sex.
    I also do not read people as well as I should / could, thus why I am writing here. Does ANYONE out there have some advice for me??? I don’t have really any male friends or relatives that I can talk to.


    dt44
    Participant
    January 26, 2014 at 12:33 pm #46572

    Your crush sounds like a personable and charming guy. Do you get any indications from him as to whether there are mutual romantic sparks or whether he already has a girlfriend in his life? He sounds friendly to you. Do you two hug when you meet? I recommend you give him a very warm hug the next time you meet, with a big smile and lingering eye contact. And see how he reacts…

    RaeRae87
    RaeRae87
    Participant
    January 26, 2014 at 11:29 pm #46588

    I’m not good @ picking up romantic clues. Some people may not believe this, but I’ve never had a dating/romantic relationship. Only had people with whom I have had crushes on. I’m also shy by nature, though I’m trying to work on not being so shy around everyone.
    I know for the last few years, he has mainly been focused on owning his own business. He finally started owning his own business in May of 2013.
    As far as I know, he doesn’t have a girlfriend. At first, we started with hugs when greeting. It has been a few months since we have actually hugged (thought about trying to engage a hug, but then my shyness/awkwardness comes out & I don’t try). I’m one of those people who likes to be touched, but I’m not sure if he is. I’ll at least try the smile & eye contact the next time we have an interaction (I’ll see if the hug would fit in or not). I’ve thought about when we are sitting, to somehow have body-contact, but the uncertainty of what he will do/think/say scares me even more. HELP!

    RaeRae87
    RaeRae87
    Participant
    March 11, 2014 at 11:28 pm #49130

    Saw my crush the other day. It was at a fundraiser setting that had supper and a silent auction. When I saw that he had arrived (was not expecting him to, but did hope to see him), I went up and greeted him. Ended up getting a side hug from him. We talked a little about what things were going on at this event. In the conversation, he said that he was waiting for a friend to show up (one of his fellow band members), and was going to wait until he arrived.
    I was glad to see him. I had hoped that he would end up sitting near me for the dinner part of the night. That did not exactly happen. A friend’s kid ended up sitting next to me (we don’t see much of each other, but that is a side note).
    i had to leave a bit earlier than the time the event was to end. I said bye and my crush was like “You leaving already?” I explained that I had to go and take care of my dogs/puppies. It seemed like he wanted to have some more time with me than what we had in the earlier part of the night.
    THOUGHTS??


    Brett123
    Participant
    March 15, 2014 at 6:05 pm #49319

    Even though most people think men don’t like touch, they do. Try to be close to him when talking and touch his arm or leg when making a joke or to call his attention. He seems friendly to you so you can start touch to see if he gets the clues.

    From my personal point of view i’m really bad at taking clues. I’d like girls to give more obvious clues and not be so passive.

    You could try during a conversation to mention a new film in the cinema and say you would like to see it. Thats a pretty obvious clue. If he takes it and tells you to go with him (unless you are unlucky enough he already saw it), i’d say hes interested.

    RaeRae87
    RaeRae87
    Participant
    March 23, 2014 at 2:13 am #49656

    Trying to collect the nerve to ask him if he would go and see a movie. One thing I’m trying to get over is the thought of him saying ‘no’ or if asking damages the bit of relation we currently have. I know that I over think things.

    I feel that it would be best in person (rather than a text or Facebook), but again, I’m not sure. I don’t think that I will be willing to ask him at his work. Rather not have this happen with too many around. Thoughts are all jumbled on how to go ahead with this. It will be in a week or so until I see him again. I may just ask then, if I don’t lose my nerve.

    Any thoughts on what you all think would be better (text, Facebook, in person- at work, in private)?? Guys, what would be your comfort level if asked by a girl to see a movie (in the options of the previous sentence)?


    lester83ege
    Participant
    March 29, 2014 at 3:38 am #50049

    I am agree with RaeRae87 . I can help you about some movies which will help you a lot.

    LadyC
    LadyC
    Participant
    March 31, 2014 at 11:04 am #50075

    If a guy wants to be with you, he will. He will let you know. He will ask you out. He will pursue you, not the other way around. In my experience when a woman chases a man she chases him away from him, not pulling him towards her. Just do your own thing and let him see that you have a full and exciting life. In other words, ignore him. If it’s meant to be, he’ll come around. GOOD LUCK 🙂

    RaeRae87
    RaeRae87
    Participant
    March 31, 2014 at 9:57 pm #50134

    Went by his office today to get new patient papers. Saw him for just a second. He was leaving for his lunch break. When he saw me, he gave me his shocked/surprised/happy to see me look. Hoping to be able to talk with him more the next time I see him/stop in.
    Am I over-reading the look he gave me or could there be a spark of interest?? THOUGHTS??

    RaeRae87
    RaeRae87
    Participant
    April 1, 2014 at 7:33 am #50138

    Had gone by his office today to get new patient papers. Saw him for just a second. I am guessing he was leaving for his lunch break. When he saw me, he gave me his shocked/surprised/happy to see me look. Hoping to be able to talk with him more the next time I see him/stop in.
    Am I over-reading the look he gave me or could there be a spark of interest?? Any THOUGHTS??


    dt44
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 5:50 pm #46632

    There was a good article in Psychology Today a number of years ago. Went into a lot of detail. I recommend you look into the topic and look into expanding your comfort zone through small steps. Your crush might be putting in a great many hours getting his business started and trying to grow it. Stay active and visible in the community and perhaps other men that interest you will come to your attention. I try to live and act in a magnanimous manner. Romance is not an easy pursuit. Be patient and stay true to yourself.

    RaeRae87
    RaeRae87
    Participant
    May 22, 2014 at 1:16 am #53511
    Reply To: Wanting a man's advice – Acquaintance, Friend, or More?

    Going to be seeing a movie with group of friends of his. My crush invited me after I asked him about the movie.

    Here is a paraphrase of what he said: “The movie does sound pretty good. A friend of mine is rounding up a small group of people interested in the movie for Friday evening. Does that work for you? I DO plan on going that night, unless something crazy happens.”

    If nothing comes out of this, but a friendship, I will have at least been introduced into part of his circle of friends. That has been one of the goals that I have been wanting, but not knowing how to go about it. Of course, I would like something bigger to happen.

    Any thoughts on this?? I will post after the event and share what happens…


    Anonymous
    May 22, 2014 at 5:20 am #53514
    Reply To: Wanting a man's advice – Acquaintance, Friend, or More?

    Just always be yourself and nothing will ever go wrong!

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