Was I too pushy? Did I blow it with this guy?

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Was I too pushy? Did I blow it with this guy?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    izzybell23
    Participant
    August 3, 2014 at 1:00 am #58732
    Was I too pushy? Did I blow it with this guy?

    Thanks in advance for reading this rather long question.

    I don’t know how this dating thing works!

    I’m a 50 woman. I’m new to the dating world after a 25-year marriage. I had one relationship since my divorce that lasted over a year. I enjoy a hobby, and I developed a crush on a man who shares the hobby. We see each other in a group situation often. I could tell he was interested in me, too. We flirted on FB chat and “a drink sometime” (my initiation, as it started as a birthday drink offer) was on the table.

    Early on in our flirty budding relationship, I learned his mom was on hospice. He was very close to her, as he is close to his whole family. I understood that he was not in an emotional place to start an R, so I tried to be patient.

    There came a time about five weeks ago that he had to check on his parents’ vacation home a couple hours away, and it came about that he seemed to be asking me to go with him, and I also kind-of invited myself to go with him. A little awkward in ho


    izzybell23
    Participant
    August 3, 2014 at 1:06 am #58733

    A little awkward in how it came about, but we definitely both wanted it to happen.

    It was an overnighter, and we had an absolute blast. I have never been more at ease with anyone. We have a ton in common. We share interests, not only the hobby where we met, but also hiking. During our “date,” we hiked, we talked, we danced, we made out. It could’ve gone further, but I decided before we went that I wasn’t going to sleep with him. We laughed and talked and shared a lot.

    I really, really like him. He fits all of my “must haves” and “nice to haves” in a man.

    So, his mom was on hospice, and I didn’t push–too much. I invited him to a couple events that he couldn’t make. I kept in touch with texts and was supportive. I sent “thinking of you” and “how are you doing?” type of texts. She died about 3 weeks ago.


    izzybell23
    Participant
    August 4, 2014 at 8:48 am #58734

    I went on vacation the week before her funeral. I checked in a couple times via text.

    Her funeral was last week. I sent another “thinking of you and your family” type of text on the day of the funeral.

    All this time, I didn’t see him in person. He didn’t make our hobby’s events, which are 1-3 times a week.

    He seemed appreciative of my support. His responses to my texts of support were “You are sweet.” One said, “I’ll definitely collect on those hugs when I see you again.” He called me “sweetie pie” in one.

    One of my texts was a little sexually charged, and we flirted a little with it. I was feeling really good about “us,” even though the circumstances were such that we didn’t see each other.

    This whole time, he didn’t initiate contact. I held tight, knowing that he was busy, emotionally tied up, etc. During the weeks, I kept busy myself. I kept up with our hobby, I went out with friends and family.


    izzybell23
    Participant
    August 4, 2014 at 8:48 am #58735

    So….I bought concert tickets a couple months ago, and I had been planning to ask him to go with me. I wanted to ask him in person, but he never made our hobby’s events, so I finally texted him today to ask if he wanted to go with me on Monday night (2 days from now). His response was, “Shoot, I made plans to be out of town that night.”

    Then, I pushed. I asked him to join a group outing for lunch today, “or a beer later?” He had two things going on–he named what they were– and then said, “Will keep in touch.”


    izzybell23
    Participant
    August 4, 2014 at 8:48 am #58736

    There’s more to my story but it is not accepting the rest….. try again
    I went on vacation the week before her funeral. I checked in a couple times via text.

    Her funeral was last week. I sent another “thinking of you and your family” type of text on the day of the funeral.

    All this time, I didn’t see him in person. He didn’t make our hobby’s events, which are 1-3 times a week.

    He seemed appreciative of my support. His responses to my texts of support were “You are sweet.” One said, “I’ll definitely collect on those hugs when I see you again.” He called me “sweetie pie” in one.

    One of my texts was a little sexually charged, and we flirted a little with it. I was feeling really good about “us,” even though the circumstances were such that we didn’t see each other.

    This whole time, he didn’t initiate contact. I held tight, knowing that he was busy, emotionally tied up, etc. During the weeks, I kept busy myself. I kept up with our hobby, I went out with friends and family.


    kajla00007
    Participant
    August 6, 2014 at 8:37 am #58853

    You are doing fine, maa’m. Just keep it up. All the best.