We don't want the same things anymore…

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We don't want the same things anymore…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    xoKelly
    Participant
    June 27, 2014 at 10:07 pm #56541
    We don't want the same things anymore…

    I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now. Things were great in the beginning and after a while we started talking about our future. But now things are different. Last November he started saving money for an engagement ring, said he would put aside money every week. Then he stopped saving for the ring and decided to save money for a motorcycle instead. Every time moving in together is brought up he makes excuse. I want to save for a place but he always says even if we saved, we couldn’t do it. But he can save thousands for a motorcycle?? Our mutual friend jokingly asked when the engagement party is and my boyfriend just rolled his eyes. All I hear from my boyfriend is we can’t, we can’t, we can’t. What do you think is going through his head??? Need advice.


    CrypticCanadian
    Participant
    June 29, 2014 at 1:24 am #56555

    The best thing you can do is talk to him about it, you said you have been dating for 2 and a half years, so you should be able to open up and be honest with each other. Maybe he is scared? The idea of getting married is a huge deal to a lot of guys and maybe this whole motorcycle thing is just some mid-life crisis. As weird and philosophical as it sounds, maybe his motorcycle is an expression of how he wants to be free, and don’t get me wrong, I am not saying he doesn’t love you, but maybe he is just scared. If I where you I would just talk it out with him.


    xoKelly
    Participant
    June 29, 2014 at 4:01 pm #56563

    Now that you mention it, the metaphor of the motorcycle and wanting to be free makes a lot of sense…and I have talked to him about it before. When I tell him I feel like he doesn’t want what I want, he gets mad and says he does. But his actions say otherwise so I don’t know what to believe.