Well, it's finally resorted to this.

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Well, it's finally resorted to this.

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  • Bobandjim1260
    Participant
    October 8, 2016 at 8:28 pm #113532
    Well, it's finally resorted to this.

    Well, this will be embarrassing to write. I think I’m a pretty cool guy. I’m smart, I’m funny, I’m nice, I’m sarcastic, I’m busy pursuing my life dream, and girls don’t seem to like me. I’d like to think I’m not ugly, but damn, that’s the only thing I can think of at this point. I have lots of girls who are friends. Ones I’ve had crushes on who have turned into friends (I have a weird way of friendzoning a lot of my female friends). I know I shouldn’t feel broken down about not having a girlfriend, but it really sucks when every guy around you is getting one and you have no idea why you’re stuck in the “what the f*ck is that homeless old man looking at me for” area. I’m only 21 years old and it’s really bumming me out. Pretty hard core at times. It just makes me feel ugly and unwanted. So what is your opinion girls? How do I get from the “kill it with a f**king stick!” area to “man that guy is pretty cute” area?


    Bobandjim1260
    Participant
    October 8, 2016 at 8:34 pm #113533

    Also, if you could. I’d appreciate a somewhat realistic response. Nothing like “everyone finds love, which means one day you will too!”. Also, yeah, some of it probably has to do with being a virgin. But it’s more about wanting a relationship with someone I can really become emotionally involved with. Being alone and single has it’s perks, but there are times when everyone has someone else they’re seeing and your brain is telling you “hey man, I guess you are really just some loser”. I am also in college, so there’s that.


    Anonymous
    October 8, 2016 at 9:16 pm #113537

    Give it time. You are worrying too soon.


    Bobandjim1260
    Participant
    October 10, 2016 at 9:17 am #113540

    ……..but, but…..I don’t like waiting………

    In all seriousness, I told myself the same thing. It’s been five years since I had a GF. That may not be very long to some people on this site, but us waiting the best I can do. Because I guess letting time pass is pretty easy.


    Bobandjim1260
    Participant
    October 10, 2016 at 9:18 am #113541

    Can’t tell if my other message made it through. Anyway, I am young, this is true. However, telling someone to wait is kinda like telling them to pray for the best and hope it happens. Thoughtful, but kinda uneventful. Especially if it never works out. In which case I think I’ll just start dating a chimpanzee.

    MereModesty
    MereModesty
    Participant
    October 12, 2016 at 1:56 am #113830

    It’s been five years since I had a GF.

    Well hey, at least you had that. I’m 22, and I’ve never even had one GF, despite being a hopeless romantic since like age 9. But as for how you could try to resolve your problem… well, I’m certainly not the best person to ask (obviously), but my best advice I can give is to try initiating with women you find attractive, show interest but not too much, show (not say!!) you’re a fun guy, and ask them out on the dates. Do NOT try to befriend women and then hope that they see you romantically and/or just wait around hoping a cute girl will notice you. It won’t happen. It almost never does. The most important thing is to take ACTION. Be *proactive*, not reactive.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by MereModesty MereModesty.
    MereModesty
    MereModesty
    Participant
    October 12, 2016 at 2:03 am #113832

    Oh, and some other things to keep in mind: try to find your sense of humor, act indifferent to the possibility of rejection, be persistent but not clingy and desperate and tease her when she tries to reject you (that also shows you don’t care that much about rejection), assume that the woman already likes you, don’t try to force anything and try to be natural as possible, try to avoid asking a girl out and instead arrange a date idea based on critical information you should have gotten from her in previous conversations and offer a specific time and day (actually, asking which of two separate times is even better because it subconsciously turns it from a “yes or no” question to a “this or that” question in a woman’s mind, AND it shows that you know how to take charge), try to avoid constantly complimenting her, and don’t be an open book and instead leave room for mystery about you in her mind.

    Hope this helps.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by MereModesty MereModesty.