What am I doing?


What am I doing?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    December 29, 2016 at 12:07 pm #121276
    What am I doing?

    So I have liked this guy for almost two years. (He happens to be my employee but also my really good friend). We travel together for work have had so much fun and have told each other things we both haven’t told anyone else. I have always known how great our relationship is. About a year ago I told him about my feelings and he was very casual but firm in his disinterest for me in that way. It hurt but I buried my feelings and just enjoyed being around him. A couple of months ago he had started flirting and there has been some real tension. We had a work event and he told me about his feelings and I completely caved (despite all the reasons not to) and we hooked up. Did I mention that I am currently also trying to separate from my long time boyfriend. I’m a super hot mess right now. Anyway after we hooked up he won’t call or text me. He has told me not to get attached. Now also doesn’t want to make any plans to see me. What is going through his head cause mine is super confused?

    January 2, 2017 at 6:10 pm #121403

    I think he probably just wanted sex.. There’s no reason he would ignore you after hooking up with you. If he truly liked you he would have called you, made plans, texted you…or at least give you a reason on why he doesn’t want to see you.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  multisamsami.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  multisamsami.

    January 3, 2017 at 12:35 am #121421

    I feel like it might be easier to straight out ask him, next time you see him in a space that is appropriate just ask him. “Where are you at with ‘us’? If you don’t want anything to do with me, thats fine. But please actually tell me, don’t just ghost me”

    January 3, 2017 at 9:08 pm #121565

    I think you need to focus on yourself right now. Getting out of a relationship takes its toll and trying to navigate they those feelings all while dealing with feelings for someone else is a lot to take on. If the guy hasn’t made any effort to call or text he may be feeling like he made a mistake in the sense that now you will have the wrong idea and instead of being a man and decent human being and telling you this so you aren’t left to wonder he may just be hoping you get the hint. Not saying don’t be friendly towards him but give him a little distance and space. If he makes the effort to remain your friend he is worth keeping as a friend. If he makes no effort he isn’t a friend or boyfriend you want in your life.

    January 4, 2017 at 3:20 pm #121733

    I believe this man was not into to you for something serious, but more of a casual thing, or just sex, as others said I believe you should focus on you, and Meditate about what you really want right now at this moment!! but don’t let this man play with your feelings girl!.

    January 7, 2017 at 4:28 pm #122138

    From what you said, it looks like he just wanted some casual sex – trust me, if a guy’s interested, he will make sure to text you or make plans to see you again. Just wait and see how things go next time you see him – if he cares about you as a friend, he will make sure to patch things up at least a little; if he doesn’t, try to distance yourself from him. Particularly if you’re going through a difficult moment on an emotional level, you’ll need to focus on yourself and what you want, and surround yourself with people who support you; if he does not care, let him go – he is not worth it.