what do I do?

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what do I do?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    hailsbooher
    Participant
    April 20, 2014 at 2:08 am #51521
    what do I do?

    The guy I was with for 2 years broke up with me almost 4 months ago. He broke up with me because I did something stupid and lied to him for a long time. I dont think he was wrong in breaking up with me but he refuses to talk to me and take his stuff back. I still miss him. He was my best friend and helped me through some really heavy situations. What do I do? Should I keep trying to talk to him or just leave it. Im afraid that if I leave it he’ll never talk to me again and ill have lost my best friend and the best person I have ever met. Help me please….


    mephesto
    Participant
    April 20, 2014 at 3:01 pm #51527

    Space and time are the only things that can heal. If you lied to him about something for a long time, he feels betrayed. If you think you lost your best friend, how do you think he feels? His best friend had been lying to him for a long time, and probably would have continued to do so forever.

    His trust in you has been hit hard, and it hurts badly.

    Give it time, and let him deal with this on his own time in his own way. Guys hold relationships up just as high as women do, we just don’t let that show as much. I bet he doesn’t “not like you” he is just hurt.

    Once the initial pain is over, maybe he will come calling. We never forget the ones we love, and he will think about you a lot.

    If you chase him, and don’t give him the space he needs, you are ruining your chances at reconciliation.

    No one wants to be with the Crazy ex who won’t go away. Don’t be that girl.

    Meanwhile, try to get passed it yourself. Oh and don’t lie, it always comes out.


    hailsbooher
    Participant
    April 20, 2014 at 10:05 pm #51534

    But I forgave him for every lie he told. He expected me to and got upset when I didnt. Isnt he being a hypocrite for not forgiving me when I was expected to forgive him immediately?


    Blue Bella
    Participant
    April 21, 2014 at 10:54 pm #51589

    Apply the rubber band effect… it’s where he has pulled away & the rubber band has tension between the two of you. Instead of walking back towards him & bending to him where the rubber band is loose & won’t do its job; try walking away in the opposite direction & just keeping smiling and keeping busy… when that rubber band is at full stretch it will throw him back in your direction as it will have no other way to go.
    Look up “Rubber Band Effect in Relationships” to help you understand this theory better… it helped me!!!
    Good luck 🙂


    hailsbooher
    Participant
    April 22, 2014 at 8:52 am #51592

    Thanks! my last question is this. How long until I just stop waiting for him? How long until I try and find a real relationship again and love someone else?