What Does She Want?

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What Does She Want?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    account4me
    Participant
    March 13, 2013 at 7:15 pm #25874
    What Does She Want?

    Unfortunately this is a co-worker. In any case, this woman (call her \\\”S\\\”)will always make an effort to stop by my office for chit-chat. When she does, she generally works the room of sorts. She stands beside me and then walks around to the front of my desk, and then back again while chatting. I have noticed her mirroring my movements a few times as well.

    During a recent interaction, I came upon her and a fellow colleague talking about the colleagues daughter. I was simply listening when \\\”S\\\” made a statement that this daughter needed to watch out as a guy mentioned seems like he will ask for a kiss. While making this statement, she angled her body towards me and continued the conversation.

    What the heck does that mean? Does that suggest she thinks I am making suggestions and she is not open? (Did not think I had made any moves) Is she indicating she wants to kiss me?


    slobeachboy
    Participant
    March 13, 2013 at 8:33 pm #25875

    Unfortunately its nearly impossible to read someone’s body language simply from hearing it described by a third party. But off the top of my head I’d say that you are either not doing a very good job of describing what she was doing in the second paragraph or she’s a bit of an odd one. Either way she certainly seems to be a major flirt and you seem to be the focus of her attention (possibly affections). But again I just can’t say from your description. By the way, I noticed that you did not mention if you have any interest in the person at all yourself. These kinds of women can be a lot of fun to date but some of them can also end up being a major headache. Anyway, if she gives out confusing signals and seems to not respond to normal social cues then I’d be a little weary of her. After all you don’t want a sexual harassment lawsuit on your hands. On the other hand she might just be a normal outgoing flirtatious girl who wants you to ask her out and you are just not good at reading the signals. By the way, does she seem oversexualized at all?


    account4me
    Participant
    March 14, 2013 at 10:14 am #25890

    I apologize as I am terrible at describing things. I am an accountant so numbers tend to be more my language.

    The region where she lives and is from is rather conservative and people tend to be more naive. She is a very attractive woman and has always had guys “oogling” her so that likely has developed her to be a little more flirtatious. I am a little more discreet though and do not have my tongue wagging when I bump into her.

    Here is the setting for the second paragraph. 2 women facing each other. Exactly as she makes this kissing statement, her body turns 45 degrees towards me, she glances, smiles at me, then turns her face only back to the other woman.

    Generally, she dresses to look cute but nothing too over the top. She has made some comments in the past that were a little questionable, to me only. (Such as describing her nightly routine of putting lotion on her legs and bottom) It is one of those things where I can not tell if she views me as this close guy friend (she is a little more tomboyish) or what.

    I do know that workplace relationships are trouble, but I am curious none-the-less.


    slobeachboy
    Participant
    March 14, 2013 at 5:12 pm #25980

    I know you’d probably like someone to just go ahead and give you the green light to pursue this woman but I just can’t do that just yet. As I said before I really have no way of knowing if she is really putting out mixed signals or if you are just not very good at reading women. Generally speaking though if she’s that flirtatious, then either she’s just a very forward fun loving girl who wants you to ask her out, or she’s one of those women who has a compulsion to get men to lust after her whether she actually wants to date them or not. You want to stay away from that last kind because, even if you manage to start dating one of them, all they do is create chaos around them and you don’t want to get sucked into that whole mess.
    By the way, I noticed that you said you are the only guy in the office who isn’t always “oogling” her and this could definitely have something to do with it. Some of these types of women who must constantly have sexual attention from men will throw everything they have at the guy who doesn’t seem to be noticing them. They just can’t believe that any guy wouldn’t be falling all over them so they turn up the volume so to speak. They just need that attention from every guy in their vicinity to feel good about themselves. You also mentioned that she from a conservative region and a conservative upbringing often breeds this type of personality in women. Women either succumb to this conservative upbringing and become conservative themselves or they rebel against it and become a bit wild. Or sometimes they end up with this internal conflict concerning sex and their own sexuality. These are the types that will have a few drinks and let their wild side out, have sex, and then feel guilty about afterward and sometimes even blame the guy or even accuse him of a crime. Not good.
    Anyway, if I were in your office and could see this girl operate I could tell in short order what she’s all about but since I’m not there you’re just going to have to take your best educated guess as to how to proceed from here. I would suggest that you start putting out some feelers though. You need to start asking her questions about herself and seeing what kind responses and reactions you get. Try asking her what she usually does for fun after work and see if she says anything suggestive or leading in her answers. Since she is obviously not shy she will not be afraid to be suggestive. This question will also make it easy to work up to actually asking the person out for some activity after work. Anyway good luck with it.

    abigail
    abigail
    Participant
    March 19, 2013 at 3:05 pm #26237

    Women KNOW when they’re flirting. It’s for a reason, and by no means is it by mistake. The comments she chooses and the placement of her body shouldn’t be ignored.

    However, it’s not to say she’s doing it for YOU either. Like slobeachboy suggests, there could be more to the story and more background to why she likes to “put herself out there” It could stem from insecurities or lack of attention in her life before this job.

    When a woman knows she’s beautiful, there’s no stopping her. In that case, don’t be tricked. I like what beachboy had to say too, ask her questions and see what kind of responses she gets. I also suggest interacting with her in front of other guys. Is she bouncing off of each one and winking/flirting to them too? Or is it just you. Take her to a group setting and try to see what her intentions are. That way, you won’t be pinned to a corner and left to hang dry the second another male coworker strolls by.