What happened?

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What happened?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    gatekeeper
    Participant
    May 8, 2018 at 2:01 pm #172569
    What happened?

    22M here. Was dating a girl for about 5 months, first GF. Things are great. We’re BOTH talking about how happy we are, we’re BOTH talking about stuff to do this spring and summer.
    Easter weekend I stayed there Thursday and Friday night and was gonna go with her up to her parents house for Easter Saturday night. Saturday midday I leave thinking I’m gonna see her in a few hours when she’s done working. About 30 min after I leave I get a text with a very thin excuse as to why I should maybe “take a rain check” on going to Easter. I immediately get a pit on my stomach and think somethings not right, but I hold onto hope that maybe I’m just over thinking it.
    So Saturday night and Sunday morning I say I love you and she doesn’t say it back. At this point I’m driving myself crazy, so I just ask, “Are we still good?” No reply for like 3 hours, I send another, “Hello?” Then I get the reply.


    gatekeeper
    Participant
    May 8, 2018 at 2:02 pm #172571

    “No I don’t think so, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and idk what I want in life, I don’t think we’re gonna work out, I’m sorry”. I’m completely blindsided by this. I’m sitting here falling more and more for her and then this happens. I text asking to “Call me please, I don’t get what’s happening” I never get a call and she removes me from Snapchat and Facebook by the next morning still with no contact.
    I spend the rest of Sunday numb in front of the TV. So after 2 days of feeling the worst I’ve ever felt, I decide to just send what I’m feeling to her just to get it off my chest, not really expecting a reply. She does reply with something like “I’m sorry, I’m just really confused and don’t know what I want in life, and I realized we actually don’t have anything in common. Its not fair to you if I’m not in 100% and I cant” I ask if she thinks she’ll get past this confusion, if she thinks we’ll ever work? She says, “I’m sorry, I don’t think so”.


    gatekeeper
    Participant
    May 9, 2018 at 8:34 am #172572

    I say “well I can’t make you want to be with me, I’ll always remember our time together and I hope you find what you’re looking for.” She says, “thank you, don’t think this was an easy decision for me, I just need to do this for myself”. I end with “well have a great life”.
    The smart, logical part of brain knows I need to work on getting over her and moving on, but that dumb, emotional part of my brain in the back of my head keeps saying, “Maybe she’ll change her mind, maybe she’ll get over this confusion she’s having, maybe, maybe, maybe….”
    I’ve talked to some people on other sites and I’ve gotten some mixed opinions.


    hunterl72
    Participant
    May 9, 2018 at 9:26 am #172643

    You can’t wallow in the past, I’m sure it hurts and it’s depressing but you have to try and think positive. You’ve learned a lot from this I’m sure, I’m not sure how fast y’all moved in this but maybe next time take it slower and be more careful about everything.

    She may come around, maybe she’s not mature enough for a relationship. You’re 22, still very young. Hope it all works out for you…


    cantthinkofaname32
    Participant
    May 11, 2018 at 12:22 pm #172973

    Getting over someone is like grieving any other loss. Give yourself time. There are 5 steps in grieving (if you don’t know them just look it up).
    You will get over this and you will fall in love again.