What should I do?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

What should I do?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    HarmlessThunder
    HarmlessThunder
    Participant
    July 23, 2014 at 2:27 pm #58063
    What should I do?

    So I’ve tried a couple different free online dating sites like POF, zoosk and Okcupid. I like okcupid the best because you can search specifically what you do and don’t want in a match such as wanting a non-smoker who doesn’t currently have kids.

    Anyway, I really haven’t had much luck even though I’m not very strict on what I like.

    My strict route would include no drinking or smoking at all, but I even released that a bit to ‘socially drinking’ or less and for smoking ‘trying to quit’ or less.

    My overall specifics though really aren’t that tough, and I’ll list them just so you know:
    Christian
    No Kids
    Wants Kids
    No Drugs
    Near my Age
    Near me

    Okay, that’s the basics of it. It would also be nice if they had a good sense of humor, care about their body, likes or at the very least isn’t against video games, and is semi-open minded (like getting on a roller coaster even though they are a little scared).

    So, why is it so hard to find a girl like that? I’m not strict, so what’s going on?

    runtothesun
    runtothesun
    Participant
    July 24, 2014 at 3:26 am #58097

    Online dating attracts a specific type of girl most of the time, and honestly, they’re not the ones you’re looking for. There’s nothing wrong with what you want at all, I’m just saying it’s going to be very difficult finding someone who fits that on there. And while you may not see yourself as “strict”, there’s others who will see you as conservative or “boring”. Again, this isn’t a “bad” thing, it’s just compatible with most people you’ll meet on OKC or PoF

    Have you considered joining a dating site centered mainly on Christian singles? That’d be your best bet if you ask me


    Anonymous
    July 24, 2014 at 6:11 am #58098

    You’re all right. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Start keeping yourself happy, make your life interesting. and then maybe you will find a girl. All the best !!


    ColdIceWater
    Participant
    July 24, 2014 at 8:38 am #58075

    Dude online dating websites are a joke for men, I hate to say it. Any remotely attractive girl is getting 200 emails a day. Girls ego’s go through the roof on those ridiculous websites.

    I know what you mean though, it is hard to find girls if you don’t drink. Drinking is so engrained into culture there is very little other activities you can engage in that will present an opportunity to meet girls in a open environment.

    Since you are into religion I would suggest maybe volunteering for some activities hosted by your church. There is usually nice attractive girls at these events and the fact your willing to volunteer your time says a lot about your character.

    I would not bring up the video game issue until you have locked the relationship down. You might also want to take some dance lessons. Dancing is a great reason to go out to a club without needing to drink. Plus girls love a guy who can dance.


    razzledazzle23
    Participant
    July 24, 2014 at 9:05 pm #58198

    keep yourself happy! When your happy girls will come

    HarmlessThunder
    HarmlessThunder
    Participant
    July 25, 2014 at 8:47 am #58151

    Online dating attracts a specific type of girl most of the time, and honestly, they’re not the ones you’re looking for. There’s nothing wrong with what you want at all, I’m just saying it’s going to be very difficult finding someone who fits that on there. And while you may not see yourself as “strict”, there’s others who will see you as conservative or “boring”. Again, this isn’t a “bad” thing, it’s just compatible with most people you’ll meet on OKC or PoF
    Have you considered joining a dating site centered mainly on Christian singles? That’d be your best bet if you ask me

    Due to the character limit, I wasn’t able to add on. I agree that I may be kinda boring right now, but that’s because it’s just me. If I had someone, I would love to go on road trips, and to all kinda of places I haven’t been to or have been to and loved. Experiencing fun alone isn’t really that fun. And I would try a christian site like christian mingle if it wasn’t so expensive, or was free.

    HarmlessThunder
    HarmlessThunder
    Participant
    July 25, 2014 at 8:48 am #58152

    Dude online dating websites are a joke for men, I hate to say it. Any remotely attractive girl is getting 200 emails a day. Girls ego’s go through the roof on those ridiculous websites.
    I know what you mean though, it is hard to find girls if you don’t drink. Drinking is so engrained into culture there is very little other activities you can engage in that will present an opportunity to meet girls in a open environment.
    Since you are into religion I would suggest maybe volunteering for some activities hosted by your church. There is usually nice attractive girls at these events and the fact your willing to volunteer your time says a lot about your character.
    I would not bring up the video game issue until you have locked the relationship down. You might also want to take some dance lessons. Dancing is a great reason to go out to a club without needing to drink. Plus girls love a guy who can dance.

    I have to agree with you completely.


    Anonymous
    July 25, 2014 at 5:45 pm #58288
    Reply To: What should I do?

    Hello harmlessthunder! I would like to debunk the idea that online dating is a joke for men. There is absolutely a lot of truth in that AND it is also not true. I have done online dating quite a few times and have found that men can be exactly the same way and then different. You may have to sift through the hundreds to find the few, but they do exist. People say you can never find someone in a bar, yet I know plenty of married couples who met in a bar. I know plenty of couples who met on dating sites and are super happy. It’s possible! I also like the other advice about going out to volunteer! I always tell people to go out and new people doing the things you love. I love playing soccer, so I meet people at pickup games, I love dancing, so I meet people when I’m dancing etc. And it seems you are young enough that creating such specifics with a list of what you want, can limit you. When I was younger, I dated all kinds of guys! Short, fat, gorgeous, not so gorgeous…


    Anonymous
    July 25, 2014 at 5:48 pm #58289
    Reply To: What should I do?

    I just wanted to get some experience and develop some skills and experience life. Now…being 40, I definitely know what works and doesn’t work well for me. NOW….I have earned the right to be very picky. So I would say to just relax a bit and have some fun and just go learn how to be around all sorts of ladies. You practice developing your skill for communication, setting boundaries, learning how to be honest in a respectful way, learning how to create conversation, learning how to deal with a bad date etc….then as you get older, you will know so much more about yourself and what you truly need. good luck!


    redrose
    Participant
    July 27, 2014 at 8:57 am #58334
    Reply To: What should I do?

    Keep looking and just be yourself. You will find a girl who will match you. 🙂


    surf2005
    Participant
    July 28, 2014 at 1:03 am #58362
    Reply To: What should I do?

    Move on and find the right person for yourself!