What should I do now

DATING ADVICE FORUM

What should I do now

    Author
    Comments

  • minnesota960125
    Participant
    October 10, 2016 at 9:14 pm #113717
    What should I do now

    4 months ago I matched with a girl on tinder. We vibed and stuff. Fast forward, one night she came to my house and we watched movies. Then she kissed me and we kinda layed in bed for a while and then I took her home. She was acting a bit distant after so I asked her why and she said she likes me but she was going to school a little far and she had bad long distances in the past. I stopped talking to her for a few days but we hung out and slowly began “dating”. Dinner, movies, lots of kissing(no sex)which I’m cool with. I really like her, almost love maybe. School time came and she said she didn’t want long distance but she likes and cares about me and we sat there and she cried. I kept talking to her after she left for school but one night I asked if she planned on seeing other people and she got really defensive and told me it was none of my business. I never responded, took her off insta and snapchat, but I want to talk to her and I feel like I should tell her I’m in love.


    minnesota960125
    Participant
    October 10, 2016 at 9:18 pm #113718

    I should mention that when she told me about the long distance thing the first time, she said we can take it slow, which we did and I was fine with that. But there was no talk of it again until a few days before she left. I kissed her after dinner one night and she said we should stop because she “didn’t know what was gonna happen when she left”. The reason I took her off of snapchat and insta is because when we were going out she would post videos of me and her and stuff I know if she posted stuff with another guy I’d be really hurt. I’ve had the worst anxiety the past few weeks because of this and I don”t know what to do. I feel like I may have messed it up by asking if she planned on seeing other people but I need to know how I go about the situation.


    minnesota960125
    Participant
    October 11, 2016 at 9:04 am #113720

    Bump: update I texted her after not talking for over a week and she’s ignoring me. I said I’m sorry amongst other things. I need help.


    minnesota960125
    Participant
    October 11, 2016 at 9:04 am #113721

    Bump:: update:: After not talking to her for over a week I texted her and apologized and said a few other things but she’s ignoring me. I need some help

    Me_too
    Me_too
    Participant
    October 11, 2016 at 6:34 pm #113823

    @minnesota960125, don’t apologize anymore. You have not done anything wrong! Besides, you already did so need to do that again. It only gives her more “power” and it open the doors for further hurting since she’s ignoring you and it will make you think even more about her and what you could have done wrong for her to become so distant. I’ve been there before so I know how much it sucks and hurts. The best thing you can do right now is to stop chasing her. Please bro, stop chasing her. Don’t text her, don’t call her, she needs to miss you! If she felt the same thing as you do, she would have put her fears aside and have a long distance relationship. But right now she does not want to do that, so it’s your fault. She’s insecure and does not want to take the chance. We cannot fix the other person’s insecurities. I’ve dated someone VERY insecure before and it’s the worse thing. So start to think if you really want to be with someone who does not want to be with you right now.

    Me_too
    Me_too
    Participant
    October 11, 2016 at 6:52 pm #113824

    Bro, it’s her loss!! Not yours, remember that. You should try calling her during the weekend and if she answers, DO NOT talk about your guys and the relationship. Just ask her how she’s doing, be funny, and try to sound confident. If she gives you any indication that she wants to move on, which she did already, let her.. Let her go.. She will be doing you a favor. If she’s not defensive and actually have a conversation with you, then call her back in a few more days and let her initiate contact to. It’s important that she does that. You need to be chased to. Let her miss you and try to figure out why you went missing. Don’t talk about the relationship.. Start the “getting to know each other game” all over again. There is a good chance this will work because you will be allowing her to become more secure. Warm things up again by not talking about the relationship and just being supportive and still trying to be interested.