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Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE accessOctober 15, 2014 at 3:45 am #65961
Took a girl out for dinner and drinks on Monday. We had spent the past month just hanging out together, and I think we both felt a growing mutual attraction so I asked her out.
We had no shortage of things in common to talk about, from the sophisticated (music, art, film) to the nerdy (video games, history, geography) to the personal (where we grew up, career goals, family, and general thoughts and outlooks on life). She laughed, she smiled, she told me she was having a great time. I looked her in the eye, put on my sincerest smile and said “So am I.”
Our date had gone on for five hours before she pulled out her phone and began sending text messages. She told me she had forgotten her apartment keycard and needed to get home before her roommate went to bed. So I drove her home and offered to help carry her bags to her door (we’re both grad students, and I had picked her up from school for our date). (continued below)October 15, 2014 at 4:18 am #65964
She declined the offer, but being the gentleman, I insisted and she relented. As we waited by the door for her roommate to let us in, I tried to build up a little bit of romance by telling her how much fun I had and how much I enjoyed her company, but she just looked startled and changed the subject to — wait for it — a list of her roommate’s sexual partners. Her roommate arrived soon after and opened the door. My dream-date-turned-ice-queen gathered her bags, mumbled a very quick “goodnight” and fled inside without so much as a backward glance, leaving a very, very confused guy standing in the rain on her porch.
Thinking maybe she just had a foot-in-mouth moment at the “crucial” moment of every first date, I brushed it off, and texted her the next day. I told her I had an amazing time with her, and suggested a second date. Hours later, I received a rather tepid response: “I had a good time too” with no acknowledgement of my invitation to go out again.
What on Earth happened here?
Black.lionParticipantOctober 15, 2014 at 5:10 am #65968
Sound to me like she possibly was nervous. i mean I’m honestly not too sure and wish i could be of more help. I would say give her some more time.
cluelessbastardParticipantOctober 16, 2014 at 12:05 pm #66014
I think that she might have thought that you had other “motives” by taking her bags to her door. Then chatting her up “romantically.” I mean maybe she thought you wanted to continue her date in her apartment and maybe she isn’t ready for that. just my two centsOctober 17, 2014 at 8:41 am #66020
Followed up with her yesterday. She said she wasn’t made uncomfortable by anything I did or said, but just said she’s “not ready for a relationship”. Translation: not interested. I guess I should be grateful that she at least spared me from the usual platitudes of “don’t worry, you’ll find someone” and the like. I just can’t stomach that.October 17, 2014 at 8:41 am #66059
So I followed up with her today. I expressed the hope that I hadn’t said or done anything to make her uncomfortable. She said no, but that she’s “not ready for a relationship”. Read: not interested.
I’m grateful at least that she spared me from the usual false sympathies and platitudes like “don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find someone someday”. Just can’t stomach that anymore.
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