What to do about this girl, so confused?

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What to do about this girl, so confused?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    jrptn
    Participant
    October 18, 2015 at 3:10 am #87013
    What to do about this girl, so confused?

    I’ve been talking to this girl for 3-4 months and the text conversations were super long and basically everyday. Within the first month things seemed to be going well so I asked her on a date. We went to dinner etc, and the date ended up lasting 8 or so hours which was interesting. Things seemed to go really well; she texted me right as I got home (3 in the morning). I asked her a day or two later if she’d like to go do something again but she kept saying she had to work, and it took 2-3 weeks before we hung out again right before I went back to school. Again, hung out and it went well, stayed out until 3 again. I was going to go in for a kiss, but she went for a hug instead (she’s super shy) before I could. I went back to school and I asked her if she would have bee okay with it and she said she didn’t know if she was into kissing yet. The reason I asked was one, she was shy, and two she was sending mixed signals. Continued to talk everyday. After a few more weeks I came home and we..


    jrptn
    Participant
    October 18, 2015 at 3:11 am #87014

    agreed so watch a movie at her house. Again, was going to make a move but she seemed a little closed off and mixed signals again.Rather than give the wrong impression I just asked her where she was at with the whole thing and why she seemed so back and forth. Long story short she said she had dated someone for 4-5 years and it didn’t go so well and that was all through high school. She said she wasn’t ready for anything serious and just needed time to herself to learn to be alone in a sense. They broke up a year ago. I’m sort of unsure what to do on this, she seemed to be into me, but then said all that. After that night I texted her a couple of days, but then just ended the conversation one day and it’s been a week since I’ve talked to her. She snaps me everyday, multiple times, but just seems to refuse to text me first? Sort of at a loss on this one.


    Dreezo
    Participant
    October 18, 2015 at 5:33 pm #87025

    You seem quite confident, if I was you I’ll hang out like you previously did and then ask her straight if she wants to take it further any time soon or if you should just be friends (whatever that’s going to mean). Good luck 🙂


    audiophile
    Participant
    October 19, 2015 at 1:26 am #87035

    I was in a similar situation, but she had lost both her parents in the last year, and was still very deep in the process of grieving them. The romantic flame can be burning, and very intensely at times, but it is a flame that burns cold because of their feelings of loss. They need to find meaning and purpose in their lives, without those they have cared about, and usually at the cost of becoming a different person.

    I’m still figuring out my relationship with her (as a friend, presently), and I definitely don’t have all of the answers. All you can do is give her space, and time to figure things out. Let her know that you’re there for her, meet up when she is feeling like she can emotionally handle going out, and make sure there is no pretense or expectation on your part in your meeting. Be her friend, be willing to go out of your way to make her feel more comfortable and content if the situation calls for it, and she will come to you.


    audiophile
    Participant
    October 19, 2015 at 1:30 am #87036

    P.S. This doesn’t mean to cater to her every beck and call, but rather to show that you are empathizing with her struggle, and to make her life a bit easier. If you really want this to work with her, then be willing to have unflinching patience, and show her that you aren’t going away – even if you see her at her worst. I hope that makes sense.


    JorgeJordan182
    Participant
    October 19, 2015 at 2:26 am #87037

    I HAVE THE SAME SITUATION BRO!!!
    just be confident and ask about if something dose not goes as planed or bad then she is not for you


    jrptn
    Participant
    October 19, 2015 at 9:01 am #87026

    Well that’s the thing, I basically did ask if it was going to be going anywhere anytime soon and she said couldn’t think about anything serious right now. Ultimately I know that it’s going to be awhile before she even considered moving it further, so I guess I’m just stuck on if I should just drop the whole thing, back off and just keep in contact here and there or what?


    jackjones101
    Participant
    October 19, 2015 at 8:07 pm #87090

    im in a similar situaion


    Dreezo
    Participant
    October 20, 2015 at 8:31 am #87067

    I say drop it, if you kind of like her stay in her vision but give her space. If she’ll want to come back she’ll eventually make another approach and you can see what happens from there onwards.