What to do next?

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What to do next?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    nibor311
    Participant
    February 3, 2014 at 9:34 am #47055
    What to do next?

    Hey, I broke up with a long time girlfriend a few months ago and this is my first time since then having feelings for a girl so I am sorta lost. There is a girl that lives in my apartment complex that I see a lot and I asked her out last week, so we went to lunch last saturday and really hit it off. The next night we got dinner and a movie which was fun, and then had some drinks and ended the night with a kiss. Thursday we hung out again and had dinner and drinks and ended up going back to my place and hooking up. I called her Friday and asked if she was around this weekend and she said she has an art project and will be busy all weekend. What is the next move? I realize I am moving too fast and should just chill out but should I just wait for her to text/call me? I didn’t talk to her at all this weekend, now that its monday should I call her and see how shes doin?


    WalkByFaith5933
    Participant
    February 3, 2014 at 3:24 pm #47103

    You did take things too fast…and she probably is feeling the same way. This may be her trying to slow things down. You should probably tell her how you feel you both took things too fast and then tell her you’d like to get to know her better. I may be old school, but no one is supposed to just have sex a couple weeks after you start dating someone. Marriage is the time to share that. It is worth the wait and means so much more when you know you’ve waited for the love of your life. Just think about it.


    okguppy77
    Participant
    February 3, 2014 at 9:24 pm #47135

    There’s no harm in sending a friendly text. Just make it a point to show her that you’re interested in hanging out with her because you want to get to know her, not because you think you can eventually get some from her. She told you she was busy this weekend which is totally understandable. Maybe just ask how her weekend was or ask if she wants to grab lunch or something this week. If the topic comes up, it’s a good opportunity to discuss the pace in which you’re moving and your expectations in the relationship, if there are any. Also, think about any hobbies or interests she has shared with you and plan a date around that. It’ll mean a lot to her because she’ll know you listen and that you care and support her passions!


    WARRIOR
    Participant
    February 4, 2014 at 1:01 am #47139

    Give her a call to see how the project went. Don’t text her, call her. have a short conversation with her and ask her if she would like to go out again. I know the feeling of liking someone and wanting to spend time with them, but being to pushy will push her away versus puling her in. See if she shows interest and just play it cool. If she doesn’t don’t get mad just appreciate the time you had.

    JayEvo
    JayEvo
    Participant
    February 4, 2014 at 5:45 am #47144

    Slow things down by taking her on fun dates as opposed to romantic ones. check with her hobbies and interests first; for example if she likes animals take her to the zoo. other stuff like bowling, amusement parks, funny movies or shooting pool, fun but not too serious. if you both have mutual friends make it a group thing and have fun.
    hope this helps 🙂


    torotoro12
    Participant
    February 4, 2014 at 2:41 pm #47169

    Call and tell her how you are feeling, give her the opportunity to confirm she is feeling the same way and then discuss how you can move forward.
    It’s better to lay it out there and know, rather than speculate.
    At this point in the game, there is more to gain by asking the difficult questions.
    Good luck!


    jessetr
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 5:54 pm #47210

    You know what could be happening? It’s quite possible she has…an art project this weekend.

    Take charge and call. Tonight (Tuesday), because Wed will be too late if you’ve had sex.

    If she sounds at all uncomfortable, say, “Hey, you sound uncomfortable. Tell me, I don’t judge.” She’ll def. appreciate that and tell you her thoughts. Then give the impression that while sex is great, you aren’t all about scoring. Say, “Hey let’s go out, just the two of us. I’m still totally interested in you, but it’s not just a hookup with me. I like your (fill in the blank with her character traits) and I just want to find out more about you.”

    Women, even if they sleep around like guys, don’t want to seen as sluts. So if you’re really interested in her as a person, let her know that for real. She love you for it.

    But be honest with yourself. If you only want sex, well, you got it. Now move on.