What would guys think of me?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

What would guys think of me?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    hiddenkite
    Participant
    July 11, 2016 at 11:47 pm #104915
    What would guys think of me?

    Hey everybody! I’m a 18 year old girl who’s a virgin. I haven’t found someone I’m interested in enough to test the waters with and I’m going off to college in a few months. Thing is, my outlook is that I really don’t hold my virginity to that high of importance. If I found a person who I had a strong physical connection with who treated me with respect and didn’t merely treat me like a notch in his belt I’d be open to sleeping with him even if the relationship wasn’t permanent or serious. I know virgins have a rep for getting attached, but I just don’t feel as if i will. Am I naive to think this way and will a guy just think of me as a commodity? Thanks!

    gnarboi
    gnarboi
    Participant
    July 12, 2016 at 12:25 am #104916

    Well I think that it depends on who you hang out with and for sure there will be some guys that will think of you as a commodity if you are just doing to do it but there are also a lot of good guys that will think it is just fine and will treat you as every other girl. I think if you find someone to have a solid relationship with then you will be much better off but thats just imo.


    catpin
    Participant
    July 12, 2016 at 8:41 am #104927

    In my opinion, your first time should be with someone that you’re in a committed relationship with. You don’t have to be married, but they should at least be someone you’d consider a friend. You never know how you’ll react to your first intimate experience. I’d think it’d be traumatizing if it were a stranger and the guy never talked to you again. I’ve had a few one-night experiences but I couldn’t imagine my first being one of those. Good luck!

    bnme90
    bnme90
    Participant
    July 12, 2016 at 2:25 pm #105027

    To me, it does sound a little naive to think that way, because it’s easy to think a certain way, but when the time comes, things almost never work out the way you envisioned. Also, a lot of men think of women as “commodities”, but fortunately, you sound like someone who is very headstrong about your sex life, so you need not worry about being a commodity to any men at this point.


    lovekitten321
    Participant
    July 13, 2016 at 1:44 am #105054

    Not only is losing your virginity a very special moment, but it’s also very painful so make sure you’re not drunk and it’s rushed!


    cfd2016
    Participant
    July 15, 2016 at 11:58 am #105343

    Some guys are gonna be turned off but they aren’t worth your time. The right guys won’t have a problem with it


    Anonymous
    July 15, 2016 at 4:32 pm #105400

    I agree with everyone! First, you are naive to think it won’t affect you. It depends on your experience and how the guy treats you after. I know plenty of guys who find out the girl is a virgin, then treat her like gold until she sleeps with them….then they bail. So I would set the standards a bit higher. First off, I would not mention AT ALL that you are virgin. That becomes something a man will have a tendency to want to conquer. Not every guy is like that, but you are going off to college, so the guys are still growing up as well. I would make sure the guy really likes you…puts in the effort to hang out, pursues you, and spends a lot of time with you…..and make sure you really like the guy as well! THEN….when you start to feel ready to take things a little further, you can talk about your situation. What is between your legs is a sacred space and needs to be earned and respected…if it isn’t, it hurts and there is no way around that and no feeling like being used.