what would you do here!

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what would you do here!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    sigrich
    Participant
    January 26, 2015 at 10:46 pm #71904
    what would you do here!

    I wish I could make this story short. Bare with me here. I might have to double post. I met this girl awhile back. We had big time attraction to one another. She gave me her number and I never asked for it. I texted her a couple of times and then asked to call her. I told her I was not going to ask her out over text. We had a great lunch. We spent the whole day together and she even made the first move. The second, she cooked for me at her house and we got physical, but not sex which was fine. The third date she come over date was great and the fourth date she spent the night. I told her I wanted to see her more the once a week and she agreed. She told me I was not just an f**** buddy etc. After she spent the night I tried to do a picnic date for a Sunday about week later. She agreed and one day before she asked what time I told her noon I would pick here up . I knew she was working late but what I did not expect was for her to still be asleep.


    sigrich
    Participant
    January 26, 2015 at 10:51 pm #71905

    I couldn’t believe it. She knew there was no doubt. She called me at 3 said sorry so much, promised to make it up to me. I said how can you do that? I was not mean it does not solve anything. I told her I respected that she wanted to do that. Tuesday comes and she conveniently has to work a double,.She was going to come by and cook dinner at house. So now I haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks, Barely talk now. Not the we did much before. I keep getting sweetie how are u text and how was your day. I miss u a little. Finally yesterday I got annoyed and said if miss me and want to see me you’ll find away. I’m not sure what to do. Could be the stresss of two jobs, could be someone else. Either way I feel like I’m getting strong a long. I explain more as the replies come in. I don’t want to make this to detailed. There are things I’m leaving out to keep it short. Thanks everyone.


    Expat
    Participant
    January 27, 2015 at 3:45 am #71911

    Hey man, I can see you’re wanting more than she can give right now. Honestly, I think you should try to be a little more understanding of her situation. You already said she’s working 2 jobs and working late. It sounds to me like she’s doing the best she can. It does suck that she missed your picnic date and the date after, but these things happen. If you want to be in a relationship, you’re going to need to learn work around another person’s whole life. It’s like you’re expecting her to drop things in her life for you. That’s a real bad way to try to do a relationship.

    To be blunt, you’re being selfish by demanding more than she can deal with right now. You’re upset because she’s not giving you the attention you think you deserve. If you can’t deal with a hardworking woman who works 2 jobs, works late, and has unexpected double shifts come up, then you should do both you and her a favor and get out now.


    tasha
    Participant
    January 27, 2015 at 9:42 pm #71992

    Honestly, i think shes just not into you. As harsh as that may sound, when a girl is really interested in a guy she would not miss two dates! She would be doing everything to get the shift covered or making a day for you. Perhaps she just doesn’t know how to say it exactly so she is dropping hints? You seem really sweet and she clearly doesn’t care. Cut your losses and move on to someone who would love to go on a picnic with you!


    Tinderthrowawa
    Participant
    January 28, 2015 at 4:51 am #72009

    I agree as well. I would chalk it up and move on, at tough as it sounds. Girls will take the time to text you and see you if they truly liked you. Sorry mate


    sigrich
    Participant
    January 28, 2015 at 9:09 am #71946

    There’s too much to this story that I can not put in here because of the limit in characters. I tried to be brief. She was not working two jobs then. She just got the second. The point is she verified the time at 1 am on Saturday. I called her to tell her I’m on my way at 11 am. Got VM. No biggie could be in the shower getting ready. I get there and all the lights are out. I have plenty of compassion, but I lose respect when you stand me up. She knew we had a date. She told me Friday she hoped the weather would stay nice.! She said she would make it up to me on Monday and cook dinner., but that never happened. I keep getting hey sweetie text, good morning dear, etc. I have surprise for, but never tried to make plans. I’m confused, frustrated and want to confront her, but I know things aren’t what they always seem. I’m just being patient. We are only dating, but that doesn’t mean my time and feelings are not valuable too. She works hard and I do too.


    sigrich
    Participant
    January 28, 2015 at 9:10 am #71973

    Story is to long. Some of the facts can’t be made clear without multiple post. To clarify here, she didn’t have another job yet. She made comments about hoping the weather holds up. This was Friday. Saturday she messaged me at 1 am to ask what time was I coming. I said I would pick her up at Noon. She said OK. She was still at work. I called at 11:30 the next morning letting here know I was on the way. There was no answer. No biggie she could be in the shower. I get there and all the lights are. I rang the doorbell twice and left. I pretty pissed. It’s rude and no excuse in the world can make that right. She knew and if she really wanted to go she would’ve been up and ready. She calls me around 3 pm to apologize and wants to make it up to me. I told her that would be fine. I was not rude despite the fact I wanted to. She was suppose to come by Monday and cook dinner. She conveniently had to work a double. She always suggested a different day, but nothing this time.


    JamesAlex
    Participant
    January 28, 2015 at 9:38 pm #72177

    Sometimes its difficult when you have more feelings than someone else. Regardless of how much you want a relationship, if they are not feeling it, usually they will let you know in some fashion. I think it’s a little mean and immature when a woman can’t just be honest about their feelings about a guy, but in this situation I think she just wants you as a friend (or sex friend) and nothing more. She may also just be enjoying being single and keeping her options open. Nothing wrong with that either. Lastly, regardless of the situation, if you actually like this girl don’t just sleep with her because it’s convenient (unless you are both ok with that). All it will do is make it harder for you to move on. Hope that helps a little. Good luck buddy!


    sigrich
    Participant
    January 29, 2015 at 6:46 pm #72224

    It’s not like she didn’t know of our plans. We talked about it several times. She mentioned being excited about it. Furthermore she NEVER indicated that she had lost interest. I can’t understand why she would spend the night after, going out several times then just drop off. It’s not like we had not been “physical”.How can you message someone to make sure of the time and then sleep through it? I don’t believe for a second that was an accident no matter how much she apologized. She couldn’t even follow througgh with making it up like she said she. I think it’s more cold to ACT like you’re still into me and string me along with all of these flirty messages that you have no intention of following through with. I have more pride in myself than to believe all of this. I really want to confront her about it, but my gut tells me it’s not okay to. She expressed how much she liked me when she stayed over, but now I think that’s BS too. I told her I was not a f*** buddy and she agreed.


    Ben101
    Participant
    February 5, 2015 at 5:03 pm #72686
    Reply To: what would you do here!

    Think Tasha’s hit the nail on the head there pal