What would you do in this situation? Am I being weird/too critical?


What would you do in this situation? Am I being weird/too critical?

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    An Idealist
    September 18, 2013 at 12:50 am #39161
    What would you do in this situation? Am I being weird/too critical?

    I had a really weird day. I’m not sure what to do about any of it…Any help/advice will be appreciated! So here’s what happened:

    I was sitting in the library at my school (I’m an undergrad at a commuter school), and I was there for probably two or three hours. At one point, this guy sitting two seats away from me slid this little notebook across the desk and gestured for me to look inside. So I did, and he had written me a note. It said something like as soon as he saw me walk in he thought I was beautiful and he was just working up the courage to talk to me. Other than saying thank you, I didn’t know how to respond, so when he asked me for a way to contact me, I gave him my email (I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and turn him down). I thought the whole thing was sweet and semi-cute but at the same time I was a little weirded out since throughout this whole exchange we hadn’t actually spoken to one another.

    Then, I received this email from him: “Hey there! Nice to meet you today. It’s [his name] from the library. I know you have skin that looks silky smooth, hair that flows as gracefully as if dancing on air, and a golden smile with all the radiance of the sun…But that’s about all I know about you so far! There remains so much I still want to learn. So tell me about yourself” Then he went on to tell me a few things about himself, and ended the email with, “I await thy response.”

    To be honest, I found his email a little weird (though I’m not sure whether he really is weird or if it’s just me being picky and critical), so after that I left the library. I went to the cafeteria to use the microwave so I could eat before my next class. As I’m standing in line, this guy comes over to me and starts talking to me. It wasn’t as weird as the library guy and I was kind of having fun talking to him, and it wasn’t like I had anywhere to be or anyone to meet up with, so I figured I could just hang out with him.

    So after we talked for a bit (probably 15 minutes or so), he suggested we go take a walk in the park which was only 2 blocks away and was pretty crowded (I go to school in NYC so I knew I wouldn’t have to be completely alone with him, which is why I went without really knowing him). So we went, kept talking and whatnot and walking around the park. Then he said, “Give me your hand.” And he laced our fingers together. I let my hand go limp, so eventually he let go, and after that I started holding the bottle of soda I had with me in the hand that was next to him so he couldn’t take my hand again.

    We finally started walking back to the school and I dropped my soda, so he picked it up and said, “You should hold this in your other hand,” and started holding my hand again, but I pulled away. Then, we kept walking and he put his arm around me, but I shrugged out of that. When we got back to school, he kept standing really close to me, and I was afraid he wanted to kiss me or something so I kept my head turned away. He gave me his number and told me to text him but I didn’t. And then I ran to class.

    So. That was my day today. Library guy was a bit strange, but this second guy I thought was weirder. I don’t know if he thought we were on a date or what. I mean, he just came up to me and started talking to me, and then suddenly he’s holding my hand and drinking my soda (yeah, he asked if he could have some of my soda after only knowing me for 10 minutes).

    The thing is, I don’t know if these guys are weird, or if I’m the one being weird. I’ll be honest: I have no dating experience. I am 21, and yet have never been on a date, never been kissed. I think that’s mainly because I’m afraid to put myself in situations where I might be vulnerable, and also because I find it hard to like the random guys that approach me and start talking to me just because they think I’m pretty. I need to get to know someone and be friends or at least acquaintances before I feel comfortable around them and want to have that kind of relationship with them.

    Don’t get me wrong; I wouldn’t mind finding someone I like and having a romantic relationship. But the guys I meet that I do like are usually unavailable for some reason or other, and I always seem to find something wrong with the ones that approach me. But I can’t help but think that I must be doing something wrong, that I’ve gone all this time without ever having intimate relationships.

    What is your opinion on these guys from what I’ve described? Do you think they’re weird? Or do you think I’m being too critical, or that my inexperience is holding me back? What should I do? Should I just ignore them, pretend none of it ever happened?

    I’m sorry this is so mind numbingly long, but I just wanted to try and explain the whole situation accurately. I really would appreciate advice!!!

    September 19, 2013 at 7:51 am #39239

    I also don’t have any dating experience (save online dating) so my opinion may be wrong. But I think that the guy from the library is better than the second guy.

    September 19, 2013 at 2:09 pm #39281

    To me that sounds a little creepy. I know sometimes guys don’t mean to be creepy, because there trying to be nice, but that email would’ve freaked me out. He seems like he hasn’t had a real relationship. I’d either not date him or go really really really really really really slow. you get the point

    September 19, 2013 at 2:14 pm #39289

    I agree – the dude is being creepy and going about things the wrong way. Maybe he’s intimidated by you and gets too nervous? Seems to hold you in pretty high regard.

    September 19, 2013 at 2:26 pm #39306

    “I await thy response.” – Worst e-mail sign-off ever.

    I can see why you might find this guy as weird but it could also be that he is trying to be super nice and overdid it a bit. Talking to him can’t hurt and see if you get along or not.

    The second guy to me sounds weirder. Trying to hold your hand right away is extra creepy.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by awesomeme awesomeme.

    September 20, 2013 at 6:09 pm #39456

    It’s not u at all…they r both very strange. The first guy was way to shy and te second guy was sounds way too touchie feely for just meeting u and not making u feel comfortable enough to hold ur hand or drink ur soda even (that’s creepy as hell). I mean when the time and place is right u will meet someone. Just make new friends while ur at school and things usually fall into place naturally from there.