What's my next move?

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What's my next move?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    somethingkewl
    Participant
    December 20, 2016 at 11:05 am #120708
    What's my next move?

    So I know this girl for about a year now, because of this big group of friends we have. Us two only really started talking a few months ago. Before I tell the rest of the story, i’ll tell you about het situation.
    She’s with a guy for two years now, but there relationshop is weird. They kept it secret for a year, then it leaked out to all of us. The thing is, they never show anyone that they’re in love with eachother. They arrive at the party together and split up for the whole evening, stuff like that. I’ve also never seen them kiss in public before, although we’re all really good friends. They’ve had some rough fights too, where the guy always says she doesn’t deserve him because he doesn’t care enough. One time she called me while she was crying to talk about the fight they just had, same reason as I just stated. Now it’s all ok again though.

    Now here comes me.

    (read below)


    somethingkewl
    Participant
    December 20, 2016 at 11:17 am #120710

    We’ve started dating about three months ago. Yes, dating, while she has a boyfriend… The first few times when we went to a bar I didn’t really thought any of it, in fact, I wasn’t even thinking about anything further then some talking. But after a while I started to find it weird that we went out so much, so I asked her if her boyfriend didn’t mind, she said that he didn’t care (after all, they NEVER go out with just the two of them, it’s always when we’re with our group of friends). After she said that I was okay with doing this more regularly. You all know what comes next, I start to fall in love with her. At first I thought that it would just be something which would last a few days, maybe even weeks but it got worse. Having a hard time to sleep because I can’t stop thinking about her. Last week I slept about 10 hours in 7 days.

    Now we have our usual days when we go and get a drink, mostly wednesday and thursday. After that we meet up with the rest of the group (continue below


    somethingkewl
    Participant
    December 21, 2016 at 9:12 am #120711

    Her boyfriend usually isn’t there, he mostly sits at home gaming or watching movies.

    My question to you guys is: what is my next move?

    Do I tell her that I have feelings for her knowing that we probably will stop have drinks together and that I will have a lot of awkward confrontations with her boyfriend?
    Do I continue the dating, but probably have a hard time sleeping, and fucking up my thought even more?
    Do I start talking to her so much and wait till the relationship is over to try my move?

    I really don’t know…

    TL;DR
    In love with a girl who has a weird unstable relationship.
    Been dating her for 2-3 months now, she enjoys it, I enjoy it (too much?)
    Don’t know what my next move is.

    Thanks to all of you who will help me with my decision, I REALLY appreciate it!!!


    somethingkewl
    Participant
    December 21, 2016 at 9:12 am #120717

    We’ve started dating about three months ago. Yes, dating, while she has a boyfriend… The first few times when we went to a bar I didn’t really thought any of it, in fact, I wasn’t even thinking about anything further then some talking. But after a while I started to find it weird that we went out so much, so I asked her if her boyweeks but it got worse. Having a hard time to sleep because I can’t stop thinking about her. Last week I slept about 10 hours in 7 days.

    Now we have our usual days when we go and get a drink, mostly wednesday and thursday. After that we meet up with the rest of the group (continue below

    000


    DatingDoozy
    Participant
    December 21, 2016 at 2:19 pm #120873

    I think you need to be honest with the feelings you are having for her. Put them out there on the table and be forward. It does no good to beat around the bush and go on like everything is normal, because it is not and she is in a relationship. She needs to be clear with what your role is in her life, and you get to choose if that’s cutting it. For me, I would either want to be in a relationship or be out, not stuck in the middle. It is too messy. Be forward and honest– it will be the only way to get a real answer and get some sleep!


    johnp
    Participant
    December 23, 2016 at 9:09 am #120939

    You can’t continue to date a girl who’s in a relationship. You just can’t. I know that you can’t change how you feel about her, but if you got together with her more formally, how could you ever trust her? In any case, if you want to be with her, you need to give her an ultimatum: she must choose between her boyfriend and you. She must know you well enough by now that she knows how she feels about you.


    croSSeduP
    Participant
    December 23, 2016 at 2:21 pm #120970

    I agree w/ dating doozy. It’s time for a “come to Jesus” talk (so to speak). You need to lay feelings out there to her. Frankly, it sounds like she’s kind of got a lot of baggage if she’s in a weird relationship w/ another guy and can’t tell him, “goodbye.” There are other fish in the sea, my friend.


    Anonymous
    December 24, 2016 at 2:07 am #120990

    Bad idea!!! you cant tell her while she has a boyfriend. you are obviously in the friendzone and you need to thread carefully. You can start by finding out how she really feels about her boyfriend. Ask her. if she says she loves him, ABORT IMMEDIATELY. If she says she is not sure or she doesnt, take a shot. Good luck. In Other news, this widely recognised programmer, Internet security expert/analyst and developer just helped save my relationship. he hacked my partners cellphone and granted me remote access. what i found out was disheartening but it helped me realize the kind of person she was. His services include: private investigations, ethical/unethical hacking, nabbing cheating partners, Monitoring children / employees remotely/ mobile phone hacks, communications apps (Whatsapp, etc), email, social media accounts (facebook, twitter, instagram etc)(follower increase) and improving credit scores. he can be reached via email at greyhathacker072@gmail.com i promised to tell others.


    BFP
    Participant
    December 25, 2016 at 2:02 pm #121037

    Id say lay out your feelings, although I am new to this sorta shtuff.

    annewolt
    annewolt
    Participant
    December 26, 2016 at 6:10 am #121062
    Reply To: What's my next move?

    I think you need to be honest with the feelings you are having for her.