When does showing interest start to look too needy?

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When does showing interest start to look too needy?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Expat
    Participant
    January 27, 2015 at 3:36 am #71910
    When does showing interest start to look too needy?

    Hey, I’ve been asking for advice on here about my current dating situation, and a new question has come up. I’m currently chasing this girl who lives in another country, but who has shown strong interest in me. She’s coming back home to our country for a 2 month break from school next week, so I intend to ask her out on some dates during that time.

    Here’s my question: While trying to show her how interested I am, I send her messages pretty much every day. She’s never the first one to send me a message. It’s always me initiating conversations. She gets flirty and stuff once we do start talking, but unless I start the conversation nothing happens. Sometimes, I send her a message that gets ignored until the next day too. I want to show her I’m interested by continually trying to start conversations, but I also don’t want to look really needy. She’s got her own life, and I don’t expect her to just drop everything to chat with me. Should I wait for her to reply, or send another message?


    mystery
    Participant
    January 27, 2015 at 7:23 am #71916

    Leave some caps between yeah. She might start to respond sooner or initiating.


    UglyErin
    Participant
    January 27, 2015 at 12:02 pm #71942

    I think a message a day is a bit too much. I would go crazy if anyone ever texted me that much. Even if she would text you normally, she doesn’t do it now because she knows you’ll text her anyway, so why bother. Or maybe, she doesn’t mind talking to you, but she’s not that into you either. Why don’t you stop texting for a while and see if she writes to you?


    tasha
    Participant
    January 27, 2015 at 9:50 pm #71993

    Ohh this is a good one. Sounds a bit like me, I guess i am kind of seeing someone and i usually make him initiate the conversation, why because i don’t want to seem needy so i make him do it. Plus i like the way it makes me feel, iv’e always been told if a man wants to talk to you he will. So that’s what i say to myself if he wants to talk he has my number sometimes we go a day without no contact well guess he didn’t want to talk so good thing i didn’t message him and get a half half shitty convo from him. Yes sometimes i will say good morning so he doesn’t constantly feel like he has to always make the effort but majority of time i like him to do it first. Half way through a convo i might just stop talking few hours later he replies. But with him he doesn’t want a relationship i don’t know that’s what my story will be about. But maybe she likes that you message first? Perhaps she doesn’t want to seem to needy she wants you to think she has a life and trying to play it off.


    Tinderthrowawa
    Participant
    January 28, 2015 at 4:52 am #72010

    You should be showing around the same level of interest as her. If you feel there is off balance, where you are showing too much more, then at that point I would cut back and try and get her to invest more