When does the heartbreak stop? And how long should you wait to date again?

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When does the heartbreak stop? And how long should you wait to date again?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Holly_brand2
    Participant
    May 12, 2016 at 3:35 pm #100286
    When does the heartbreak stop? And how long should you wait to date again?

    I’d really appreciate some advice, so if anybody could take some time just to talk to me, I’d be so, so appreciative.

    3 months ago, the guy who I’d fallen completely in love with broke up with me. He was everything I’d ever dreamed of, and more. When he first broke up with me, I suppressed everything and felt numb for a good while. Safe to say, reality has hit. I’ve realised he isn’t coming back, and for a good few weeks I’ve been spending days and late nights crying, I’ve been obsessing over photos of him, I’ve been fantasising over him returning to me, I’ve been breaking down randomly as I walk through the street. I feel completely consumed and I’m exhausted.

    I tried to fix it by going on a date with a guy – it ended with realising he would never live up to my previous boyfriend, and me crying all the way home.

    When does it get better? and how? and when will I be ready to date again?

    I feel such a big void in myself now he’s gone.

    Holly x

    jassythegreat
    jassythegreat
    Participant
    May 12, 2016 at 3:42 pm #100289

    I feel like whenever we are heartbroken it is perfectly okay to cry and that actually helps us. In my recent heartbreak, my trouble was that I couldn’t concentrate with my life because I couldn’t get him out of my mind and I found that writing really helps me when my mind is so overwhelmed. Just write everything down. Any time you feel like you need to let it out. And cry and cry and cry. It helps so much. Also try to figure out why you were so attached. Not only what it is about him, but what is it about you? For example for me I figured out that I was so attached because my life was so hectic and his was so peaceful and I wanted so much of that in my life. Then start browsing online guys, and have a few conversations. take it slow and try to better yourself in the process. TIME is what helps over all…


    Pelusa
    Participant
    May 13, 2016 at 6:16 pm #100388

    She is right you need this time to cry. Try to not think in how great he was. Make a list of his bad things and look and think on that often. Get busy… do something new… do not wantch romantic movies please. It will take time but you can go on dates. Try not to compare guys with him. I have having a really bad time with that. Nobody has what he has… nobody is as cute as he was. I can tell you is not so easy. But you have a life to live. Go out.. feel pretty. Do that things you like. This will help you grow and things will be better tomorrow. Always think that


    coldturkey
    Participant
    May 13, 2016 at 6:31 pm #100389

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this but eventually you will heal from it. Just take it one day at a time and start keeping a journal.That does help.


    Foreveralone11
    Participant
    May 14, 2016 at 9:03 am #100394

    Im so sorry to hear that. But the harsh truth is, it takes time to heal. Actually it’d be good if you knew why he broke up with you. Is it because of his problem or yours ? Or it’s just that you guys simply dont match anymore ? Knowing the reason would be a good step to heal yourself. If he says something like: I’m just not into you anymore’ then you might as well stop crying and get yourself back up and live a better life. Also, I think you shouldnt compare different guys just yet. Give yourself some time to heal, go have fun with your friends, eat good food, treat yourself to some movies or good old shopping, do the things that you enjoy and then you can start thinking about having a relationship again. Dont worry. There’s always someone out there who’s meant for you (I know saying this is a load of shit because I myself have trouble with dating as well, but I cant think of anything else for advice)


    Louie97
    Participant
    May 14, 2016 at 12:35 pm #100401

    Sighhh…I can empathize and the part that breaks my heart is hearing that you break down randomly as you walk through the street. I’ve come to learn that once we love someone, regardless of if they were good or bad for us, it’s very difficult to break that attachment because even though the person we love comes with their imperfections we have subconsciously placed them on a pedestal and think to ourselves “Nobody will ever match up to him/her”. But as jassythegreat said you need to find out why you became so attached to him. What was it about him that has you so mesmerized up until now? Recently I heard this saying that proves to be true that in romantic relationships “you attract who you are” so maybe you would like to look into that and see what mutual qualities you and your ex shared. Also, even though it’s gonna be difficult try to keep your head up and refrain from staying down in the dumps all of the time. Let it out and cry, but DON’T dwell there.God bless 🙂

    EmmaSwan
    EmmaSwan
    Participant
    May 22, 2016 at 2:21 am #100949

    Awww young love!!! I wish i could go back to that time in my life when u would break up with a boyfriend and just cry it out for a bith then move on to the next experience!!! But now as a single mom at 26 and with 3 kids to take care of i just dont gave the LUXURY of crying my eyes out for the idiot who broke my heart. I don’t have the PRIVILEGE of just eating ice crean all day and waiting fit a new guy to come into my life. You just don’t appreciate your FREEDOM! Stop crying for this prick who never lived you who was probably just USING YOU!! Enjoy your life and just have fun!! Enjoy your freedom while u have it. Jeez!