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Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE accessJuly 13, 2014 at 12:14 am #57336
I am 22 years old and just graduated college. I haven’t been in a serious relationship yet, but I have dated quite a few guys and it just never turns out great. I moved to a city area and have no friends here to go out to clubs or anything. People tell me all of the time how attractive I am and nice; yet the only attention I get (when a guy is sober) is from old men(I mean close to their 50s) or creepy men. I am not picky at all just to clarify. I have always been a hopeless romantic and I just want to find love one day. Until that day comes, I would at least like to have a positive experience dating someone. I just don’t have many men approaching me. And I know that woman can do the approaching too, but in what setting would be appropriate to do that?
Any advice for me?
honeyhoneyParticipantJuly 14, 2014 at 5:21 pm #57436
Create an online profile, it is safe and somewhat anonymous
Be careful and do your research about it if you have never been online
There is a lot of creepers and douchie guys but there is also real and nice men out there.
Take your time to get to know them before you meet in person and dont jump too fast into anything.
Best of luck
nm444bhParticipantJuly 14, 2014 at 6:40 pm #57455
I’m going to be very honest with you on this one so that you actually get something out of it. Ideally for someone like you who is a college graduate, meeting someone at work (if that is an option) is probably your safest and best bet. I know plenty of friends who started wonderful relationships in college and grad school. As a 25 year old guy I can tell you that the beauty of being a young woman is that most decent men are not going to flat out reject you in your face, so don’t be fearful of approaching someone you like. Kind and polite people, in my opinion, don’t just do that. There are kind and appropriate ways of letting someone know that you are just not interests and if that happens to you, just smile and keep your head up and move on.
Dont, I repeat, dont, allow yourself to accept or approach just any man for the sake of not being single anymore. I know that sounds like a fairly unpopular and fatherly opinion, but you don’t want to get involved with men with bad intentions!July 15, 2014 at 10:12 am #57475
Thank you for that advice , but is there anywhere else I can meet men aside from online dating? I’ve done that before and I just met guys who come off as sweet but just want to hookup with nothing serious and that’s not me. I also feel that its embarrassing. I’m 22 and “according to others” very good looking. So its embarrassing at the idea that I need to resort to online dating. I also don’t like the idea of my picture up there for anyone to see if someone else that I know or knew recognized me.July 15, 2014 at 10:16 am #57476
I like the idea of meeting someone at work, but for some reason that has never happened for me. I just don’t think men find me mature enough when we work together. Or that is what I assume since they never seem to flirt (since it is the work place). How does something like that even start? Also how do you suggest a female approaching a guy without being too aggressive or too subtle? And thank you, I understand what you mean. I used to have a habit of settling but I don’t want to do that anymore. I had a recent post that explains a guy interested, but I’m not so interested in him and I guess I lead him on because I felt bad and wanted to give him a chance, but he became too clingy and into me within just 2 days of having a conversation in months
nm444bhParticipantJuly 15, 2014 at 11:54 am #57478
I’ll tell you this: every work environment is different, so the dynamic at Starbucks isn’t going to be the same as a corporate or law firm. So I will generalize and you may apply it to your unique situation. IMO flirting has to be done appropriately regardless of where you are. It can be silly or direct. I once had a young woman play with my tie in the middle of a meeting and I thought it it just so cute and we went out a few times before becoming just really good friends. Or you may simply ask whether they want to grab coffee after work or lunch. Most men will not simply say no, that’s the advantage women have. That young woman started playing with my tie and I was okay with that, but as a guy I would never physical flirt with a woman simply because it’s not an appropriate thing to do. So embrace your female power and have fun!
Nate14ParticipantJuly 17, 2014 at 11:09 pm #57718
I completely agree with nm444bh. Any respectable man will not feel comfortable initiating physical flirting unless it’s obvious the girl will be comfortable with it. Online dating isn’t a bad place to find people. You can get to know the person a little better and get an idea of the person you are going to date. I understand you not wanting to use online dating though. Another good place would be to volunteer somewhere and you could meet people that way. As for a good way that I know a girl is into me is lots of eye contact. Also, I don’t really think you can be too aggressive when approaching a guy in my opinion.
whosthatguuurlParticipantJuly 19, 2014 at 11:29 am #57821
Go out to places with a lot of people with your friends, you’re bound to meet someone at some point!
so_confusedParticipantJuly 21, 2014 at 12:22 am #57842
I would definitely suggest making an online profile on a dating site, okcupid has many users and is a good place to start. You could also try chatsites and see if you find any interesting people in your area. Just be careful and don’t give out too much personal info if you barley know the person. there is numerous creeps online too.
ColdIceWaterParticipantJuly 23, 2014 at 2:06 am #58016
I would suggest you do some things that will put you in a position to meet positive successful smart men.
I would suggest developing a few routines. For one thing I would start a running pattern in a safe public area. Develop a normal time and stick with it. Chances are there will be men doing the exact same thing as you and after a few weeks they will begin to notice you. Use eye contact to get their attention.
I would also suggest finding a local coffee shop and frequenting it at regular times. Read material that will attract the type of guy you are looking for. Again use eye contact to indicate to a male it is ok to approach you.
Once you catch a guys eye, it will be much easier for him to approach you and prepare himself if he knows there is a good chance he will know where to find you.
The key is to place yourself in areas that successful intelligent men would frequent. Unless your looking for a sloppy bar fly, either way good luck!
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