Where is this headed

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Where is this headed

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    September 9, 2017 at 11:27 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    AlexxA
    Participant
    May 21, 2017 at 12:50 am #137069
    Where is this headed

    Met guy online. Talked for three weeks. Had great first date which lead to a second and third. Kissed on third. He’d been in a relationship for over 10 years and was engaged but they broke it off. I had on my been in one serious relationship too. We bonded over that and also that neither of us knew exactly what we were doing. 4th date he came to my house and we heavily made out. 5th date I went to his house. We cuddled up. He then sort of wanted to have “the talk”

    He said he liked me and was starting to care for me. He said he doesn’t want to rush anything and jokingly asked me if I was wanting to get married tomorrow. I said no. He said he is emotionally fragile and when he likes someone he gets overly attached and mushy. He then said how he’s okay with physical stuff but doesn’t want to have sexual intercourse until we are in a relationship. We agreed on things. We ended up in his bed naked, touching, oral sex. But no sexual intercourse. Have done this three times now.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    May 21, 2017 at 1:00 am #137070

    I’m trying to go at his pace. I’ve slept over his place twice. We’ve gotten sexy 3 times. He seems to like me and im happy, but scared. Maybe us doing oral and sexy time was a bad move?. One night he asked me to stay over. We got sexy and then in the middle of the night he seemed to second guess me staying over. I got a little mad and told him I wouldn’t have come there since it’s far and stayed late if he didn’t ask me to stay. I then felt weird and awkward like I should leave. I asked what his deal was. He said he was emotionally fragile and nervous.I asked of what? He eventually said something about scared of getting emotionally attached. I felt bad and didn’t want to pressure him. I told him so. He insisted I stay because I showed disdain to his unsure behavior. Everything seemed fine the rest of the night and morning. I told him I still want to date and go out, not just bed buddies. He agreed. He told me he is into monogamy, doesn’t hookup at all, and likes relationships.

    lovie4you
    lovie4you
    Participant
    May 21, 2017 at 1:40 am #137071

    It does sound like he cares for you I don’t think I would worry too much about the night he had the second thoughts, you say he broke up after 10 years with the same woman and they were engaged on top of it.I ‘m thinking that by laying in bed with you He probably had a flashback about his ex because you did say he is very emotional.I would think everything should be OK. Just see how it goes on the few dates and there is nothing wrong with oral sex sounds like you two are playing it safe. I hope it works out for you two.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    May 21, 2017 at 1:47 pm #137081

    Yeah I feel like I really like him and I’m being obsessive. I keep overthinking. When I don’t hear from him or we don’t have set plans, I keep thinking the worst and letting it affect my emotions. Like he told me he wanted to see me Thursday last minute because he was unsure if he would be able to see me during the weekend. So we did the Thursday sleepover, and then Friday I messaged him telling him I had a great time and I hope him moving into a new apartment goes well. He’s moving Saturday. He answered and we made small talk. Then I was driving by his area on Friday night and was stuck in traffic. I called him asking if he wanted to grab some dinner so I could pass some time off the road. He said He couldn’t because he was hanging out with his college buddy. He said my offer was really tempting. I said no problem and just figured I’d ask. He then said “no no. I’d love it. Might be weird if I am hanging with you and my college buddy and I are being boys.” I thought this was weird.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    May 21, 2017 at 1:50 pm #137082

    I then told him “You go enjoy your guy time”

    I asked and he was busy. No big deal. Now Saturday I haven’t heard from him, and Sunday now, I have not heard from him either. I get all anxiety ridden over this thinking something is wrong and looking at everything overanalyzing every word, text, action. I just feel like he likes me, but why isn’t he actively trying to make plan to see me, pin me down for sometime soon?

    I think I was fine, until he wanted to have “the talk”. I think it got me thinking more and more about us and what we could be. And now I think I want a title of reassurance, and he wants to take things slow and not rush. I am unsure in myself and in us, because we are in limbo. I’m ready for a relationship now, but he isn’t. But then when I look back at it, we have only been seeing each other for one month and we are still getting to know each other. It is too soon. I don’t want to be too clingy, available, and pushy. I want us to grow into it.