Why did I get ghosted?

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Why did I get ghosted?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    kai35
    Participant
    May 31, 2017 at 10:14 am #137960
    Why did I get ghosted?

    I’m a professional 20-something with plenty of experience with “first dates” — successful ones as well as being on the giving and receiving end of rejection. Sometimes that rejection has came in the form of ghosting, where the person does not say anything and ignores attempts at communication. But last week was a different situation. We had been talking online for a couple weeks. We finally met for drinks and talked for about three hours. I felt like we were clicking really well and there seemed to be chemistry. He invited me to come over to his house (or asked if he could come to mine if I would be more comfortable, but that he would need to spend the night if we were to drink more). I went to his house and we talked for another few hours but I was dead-set on not hooking up. During the evening there were some red flags. He knows that I am Catholic and so I’m rather reluctant to get physical immediately. He also took note of my education (I have two masters and a doctorate), and…


    kai35
    Participant
    May 31, 2017 at 10:14 am #137961

    While he’s accomplished himself, he told me that my education level is “intimidating” and that I’m out of his league. We ended up sleeping together and got somewhat physical, but hands only and undergarments on. He certainly had the opportunity to go further and I wasn’t resisting anything. We spent the night cuddling, which was really nice. I left feeling pretty good and glad that I didn’t give in to sex so quickly. We didn’t set up a second date because we were both busy for the holiday weekend. I went to text him Monday to see how his weekend was, but never got a response. So basically I’ve been left baffled. I was really hopeful about this one, because he’s good looking and lives unusually close (I’m in kind of a rural area)…and he says he’s looking for someone educated, motivated and attractive and said that I am all of those things. I have no idea why he would stop talking…


    Oncopoda
    Participant
    May 31, 2017 at 10:26 am #137964

    It doesn’t matter why you were ghosted, he was likely making up a believable excuse. He may have found someone else more interesting.


    kai35
    Participant
    May 31, 2017 at 3:26 pm #137962

    I do know that he just got out of a two-year relationship a few months ago and that he still finds his ex physically attractive (they own a house together, but no longer live together)… but he broke up with his ex because he didn’t see a future. Any insight? Mostly just want to know so that I can avoid this happening again with someone who is/was clearly interested.


    kai35
    Participant
    May 31, 2017 at 3:27 pm #137969

    That’s just it.. he never gave me an excuse. I literally have heard nothing from him. If he told me he had found someone else more interesting, I wouldn’t consider that ghosting and I wouldn’t be asking this question. In fact, I would be fine with it because I would have an answer, which is the more frustrating part of this situation.


    NicoleMorgan
    Participant
    June 1, 2017 at 11:06 pm #138171

    I’ve been in situations where I was ghosted and it made no sense with all the signs they were giving me. I had to chalk it up to them not being honest and transparent. I don’t understand how people can ghost like that if they are good, genuine people. You probably dodged a bullet in reality


    SouperNova
    Participant
    August 12, 2017 at 5:31 pm #145238

    Honestly, he may have simply ghosted you because he just wanted full-blown sex and he felt like you weren’t going to give it to him so easily. Or Oncopoda’s response may be correct that he simply found someone he liked more.