Why Do You Want a Partner?

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Why Do You Want a Partner?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    osubsu
    Participant
    March 17, 2016 at 11:34 am #95906
    Why Do You Want a Partner?

    Sounds like a dumb question but we are all 50+ here. Starting a family is not a motivation now. Presumably most people are looking for companionship. They don’t want to be alone all the time living in an empty house.

    I find that I am the opposite. I love to have company to do things with (at home or out on the town or on trips) but day-to-day I am very happy living alone and enjoy having the house all to myself. I like quiet evenings alone where I don’t have to talk to anyone. I don’t mind sleeping alone. It’s almost like a permanent dating relationship with the same person would be ideal. Very few want that though. It’s not a fear or commitment or a desire to play the field. It’s really just not wanting someone around all the time as would be the case in marriage.

    Anyone else like this?


    osubsu
    Participant
    March 18, 2016 at 10:30 am #96020

    In my experience a lot of people who end up alone had something in their past that changed them and living alone is not their natural state but one they ended up in and now can’t easily go back to being in a relationship. My entire life I have never been social or relationship oriented but I grew up in a highly dysfunctional family with an alcoholic mother. Had it not been for that who knows?

    As for companionship I like it when I like it. Between my childhood and my highly stressful marriage I came to associate “home” with stress. Home was never a safe haven or place of love and support. I know that’s why now I prefer to come home to a quiet house with no one in it but me. It’s nice to go out some or even have someone over but before I go to bed I like to be alone again and I like to wake up to silence and not have to talk first thing in the morning. Not sure how that would work in a relationship…


    forestrunner190
    Participant
    September 2, 2016 at 9:05 pm #110469

    Proverbs 21:19 – It is better to live alone in the desert, than with an angry and contentious spouse. (Actually it says “wife”, but I thought I’d gender neutralize it.) I’m almost the same way… I certainly have no problem being alone. There could be many reasons why you choose to like being alone — but I’m no shrink. As for myself, I’ve given it a lot of thought and I chalk it up to the fact that I am just a very introverted person. It’s not a disorder.. it’s just the way I am. Susan Cain’s book is great about this topic if you haven’t read it yet.. or just watch her TED talk.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  forestrunner190. Reason: typo