why is nothing working?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

why is nothing working?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2017 at 11:56 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    darkenmysoul01
    Participant
    November 11, 2017 at 3:42 pm #155898
    why is nothing working?

    I need some tips please. I have tried everything to keep my mind busy. I have tried sleeping around… dating/ courting new woman. However, when I finally stop and allow there to be alone time. I find myself wanting to hit up someone that isnt good for me? why is nothing working?….


    Louie97
    Participant
    November 11, 2017 at 4:10 pm #155899

    I’ve been in a similar situation and I’m currently in one right now. I don’t advise sleeping around cause I believe you are more valuable than that and you can’t sleep away lingering feelings for someone. What I would suggest you do instead is channel your energy into getting to know other people, forming new hobbies and doing things to better yourself personally. When you are alone and those urges to reach out to this person arise, just reflect on how this person is not good for you and acknowledge that giving into those feelings with only lead to emotional harm. I know how hard it is sometimes especially when we genuinely care about someone. However, at the end of the day, we must remember that even though we may still love them, we must not compromise our SELF LOVE and respect to entertain someone who does not add value to it or our lives. Stay strong.


    Louie97
    Participant
    November 11, 2017 at 4:12 pm #155900

    Also, I have found that time is the best healer so just give it some time and in about two years or so from now, you’ll be completely over this toxic person.


    sugarnspice452
    Participant
    November 12, 2017 at 7:44 am #155914

    It’s hard when you still really love someone but if they’re not good for you it is best to stay away. As difficult as that may be… But as the poster stated above time will help.


    Sociallyawkward31
    Participant
    November 12, 2017 at 8:03 am #155916

    What worked for me is that when ever you get these urges is to remind yourself :
    >why they’re not good for you
    > ask yourself do I really need that ?
    >Tell yourself you’re better of without them
    Writing this down on paper can also help sort your emotions towards this person.


    darkenmysoul01
    Participant
    November 13, 2017 at 10:09 am #155901

    Thank you. Yeah its tough, that constant internal struggle. I dont wnat to be that person that comprises my self respect for someone that doesnt value me. Thanks again, I will do my best to find a new hobby or something. P.S. Why do people say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.? b/c that does not work let me tell you


    vandypup
    Participant
    November 20, 2017 at 10:03 pm #157027

    Oh man how I can relate to this. I want with a man who treated me like crap, would desert me for day and days on end without a word. He hit me and threatened to kill me. I still he thing up on h. It’s hard when you really love someone in that way to distanc e yourself. Especially if you are a giving and forgiving person. Allow yourself to be sad and uncomfortable. Sometimes we go through crappy periods in life. We ar wxonditioned to avoid those feelings at all costs. Do not sleep around or engage in unhealthy habits. Try and look st things from a gratified perspective and work hard. It sucks I know and it will for awhile. Invest in yourself. Take charge and do the things you always wanted to do for yourself.


    we1234
    Participant
    November 21, 2017 at 3:58 pm #157113

    Join a gym, or groups. It’s not healthy to focus on being with others just because you don’t want to be alone. Trust me. I know it’s not easy and you’ll fight it. Being alone is ok and going to the gym channels energy in a positive direction. Remember, it gets better so enjoy YOU time while you can!