WHY IS SHE SUDDENlY IGNORING ME?? PLEASE HELP

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WHY IS SHE SUDDENlY IGNORING ME?? PLEASE HELP

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    ABC123
    Participant
    December 2, 2012 at 6:15 am #17936
    WHY IS SHE SUDDENlY IGNORING ME?? PLEASE HELP

    Hey everyone. I really could use some advice right now. Here’s why….
    * About 2 months ago me & this girl in my class started becoming pretty close. So 4 the past couple months we’ve been texting each other a lot, and actually getting to know each other fairly well. We even just went to dinner just the two of us a couple weeks ago. It went well and she even obviously hinted that she liked me.llAnd then she just suddenly stopped responding 2 my texts….

    PLEASE KEEP READING I NEED YOUR ADVICE, I JUST WANT 2 MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE SITUATION SO YOU CAN FORM AN INFORMED OPINION…

    *She is a very very shy girl who obviously isn’t the biggest socializer, but is no doubt a very nice girl. I could tell it was kind of hard 4 her to loosen up to a stranger,being me, but she certainly did and without much effort.
    *We began 2 text eachother for nearly hours back to back to back numerous times…

    * The when I asked her to get lunch she told me she was up for it, but she wanted to know why I was interested in her, “being so nerdy, and reserved” and then she immediately sent me another text saying “it’s not like I’m complaining or anything ”

    * So LONG STORY SHORT, everything was going well, we certainly seemed 2 be crushing on eachother, but she would sometimes text me, I would respond, and then she just wouldn’t respond.
    *A couple days later she again texted me and I responded 2 her text & asked how she was. She again didn’t respond all day, so that night, being kind of fed up with her mixed messages, I texted her saying, ” I dont know why I even asked. I shoulda Known u wouldn’t even respond.” She immediately texted me sincerely apologizing, saying that shes bad with checking her phone in general and that she was writing an essay all day.
    ** I was kind of irritated at this point and then said ” You don’t have 2 make up excuses. I get it.” I said this because I thought that maybe she was making up excuses for not responding, and that she was actually ignoring me. But now I think I may have been wrong 2 say that BC I know she is really busy with work and school and shit….

    **Anyhow, she then texted back saying ” Omg, R you serious?” And I responded back saying “what am i supposed 2 think when you don’t respond to my texts?”

    She never responded back, that was the last we talked. A few days later I texted her saying ” I think u may have misunderstood what I was saying. Do u have a minute?
    She didnt respond to that, but remember this is all after we were becoming at our peak of closeness with each other.

    After she didn’t respond 2 that text it was my last straw. I am no longer making any attempts with her. No texts, no nothing. We both even just had to go 2 the class that were both in together, and I completely ignored her. I didn’t even look at her. I didn’t act all gloomy and lame.. I continued 2 be my usual positive self but literally completely ignored her. She kept walking by me over and over and over again, I think perhaps hoping I would attempt 2 talk to her???

    ** I don’t know though.. I’m so confused!!!!!! Is she playing tricks with me??

    ***Is she to shy to tell me her true feelings??? Should I move on??
    **
    And should I ignore her? Or what would be the best way for me 2 act in this situation?? And yes I really like her!!

    PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

    Quote

    RealAttraction
    RealAttraction
    Participant
    December 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm #17938

    Hello ABC123,

    Your situation is a very simple one, although it may not sound like it by the way you are writing. The reason why she was ignoring your texts, not responding and “making up excuses” is because you were showing a lot of interest in her by texting back and forth for hours. I know you are very interested in her but you have to realize that your interest does not matter and the only thing that matters is her interest in you. This may seem like a crazy statement but in reality women prefer the man who shows less interest.

    For instance lets take what is going on in your mind when she doesn’t respond for a day or makes up excuses why she can’t talk. You become very confused about her interest in you yes, but also and most importantly is you become more interested in her. Let’s flip the table and imagine what would happen if the roles were reversed. Let’s say you didn’t respond to her texts and was just too busy for her, what do you think she would feel? Would it be similar to what is going on in your head now?

    The sad reality is that you showed too much interest and she got bored. There is a saying in psychology “we all want what we can’t have”. She has you in her pocket and therefor no longer wants you. Understand why this happened and learn from your mistakes.

    ~ RealAttraction
    “Here to help men understand the psychology of women”


    ABC123
    Participant
    December 2, 2012 at 9:39 pm #17941

    What can I do 2 regain her interest? I know that we both originally had a strong connection. I guess I did just show 2 much interest. That is why I completely ignored her last time we saw each other. Also, is it bad that I ignored her?
    I really would like 2 get things back 2 normal between us.. Please help

    RealAttraction
    RealAttraction
    Participant
    December 2, 2012 at 11:52 pm #17942

    I will give you the honest truth, you can’t regain her interest. Once a woman has lost interest the game is over. Live your life, date other women and let this be a learning experience. Anything you try from here on out to get her back will only hurt you more, if you ever see her just be a confident and friendly guy. Don’t ignore her, just don’t go out of your way to talk to her.

    ~ RealAttraction
    “Here to help men understand the psychology of women”


    Anonymous
    December 5, 2012 at 2:49 pm #18212

    I’m going to take a different approach than “real attraction”. I would agree that many women, or should I say people, have a tendency to be attracted to what they cannot have. You are referring to the infamous “game” that so many people end up playing with each other, all in efforts to keep the edge and mystery in the experience. To me, it’s a weaker way of dating. It takes more strength and a super solid self esteem to be yourself than to play the game. Yes, you take the risk of running off lots of people from being honest, but to me, you are running off the right ones. You only want the ones to stay who appreciate and value your strength to be honest and authentic….and they will offer the same to you!

    I like to help people move beyond the game. What’s the harm in being authentic? If you like a girl, you like a girl and be yourself. If she likes you and responds, then great…if she doesn’t, then you learn and move on. I ask people this all the time…..are you sure you want to attract someone in your life who is not strong enough to be 100% themselves with you right from the beginning? I’ve never met anyone who really wants that. People desire and crave honesty and authenticity from the very beginning. The “game” of playing hard to get and being unavailable is NOT fun! It’s not fun for either person. It’s going against your very nature! You are ignoring her when you really don’t want to ignore her. Where is your strength to just be who you are? “Pretending” you don’t care is sending her a completely different message….you like her but then act like you don’t! As you see, it’s not getting you anywhere is it?

    Here’s my take on what she’s doing. She sounds very insecure. She sounds like she doesn’t really trust men from what you wrote. If she is asking you from the beginning “why would you pick someone like me?” , that’s an instant sign of you seeing how she views herself. She does not believe, on all levels, that she is worth being chosen. Maybe part of her believes it, but another part of her doesn’t. What tends to happen with girls like that (depending on how big her low self esteem is) is they will test the guy. They will pull back, not respond and see how much he fights for her. When she sees that he fights for her, then she starts to feel her value. If you end up responding like a smart ass to her ignoring you, that’s just going to piss her off and cause her to pull away even more…..when all she really truly wants is to be chosen by you….to be fought for by you. This is her “game”. Sadly, this is the game a million girls end up playing with guys. Find some compassion for them, because somewhere along the way, she was never taught that we was truly amazing and worth being chosen (usually parent issues)….so those girls end up searching for their value through the guys they end up dating….BUT BE WARNED!!! they are fragile creatures…the moment anything goes wrong, they can go to many extremes from slashing your tires and spreading nasty rumors about you, or they just may pull away completely and just become unavailable (like your girl). If she is doing this to you now, you can expect that anytime you guys get into an argument or have any little small bump in the road, this is how she will treat you. Is that what you want?

    If you want to re-connect, this may work….
    1) BE YOURSELF!!!! Don’t get pulled into the game that she is playing with you….as long as you keep playing, she will keep playing.
    2) Set some standards….if you set up an expectation with her as to how you expect to be treated, then you will be surprised how she may respond. For example, if a guy all of a sudden changed his normal pattern of texting me to not texting me, I would say something to the effect of “Listen, I don’t know why you all of a sudden changed from texting me all the time to all of a sudden no longer responding, but if you would like to continue moving forward with me, I need you to respond and let me know what happened. Otherwise, I will assume you are no longer interested. I would really be disappointed if that were the case because I still would like to keep getting to know you. You must know though, that I do not respond well to someone not responding to me and will move on if necessary. So if that is not what you want, please let me know by the end of day.”

    If you teach her there are consequences to ignoring you and you do not put up with that, then you would be surprised how it puts things in alignment for you. You are being very authentic and honest, all the while, setting a standard as to how you are to be treated, and this is a quality women LOVE in a guy!!! So she will either respond or she won’t. If she doesn’t, then trust me, you are being saved some serious heartache. She could be full of a ton of drama and if she is not willing to treat you according to your standards, then she is not someone who will ever value you and treat you the way that you deserve.
    3) I would also apologize to her. Ignoring is a very damaging and hurtful thing to another person. You did not like when she ignored you! So for you to turn around and treat her like she didn’t exist, like she didn’t matter….well, all it did was support her low self esteem that she doesn’t matter and is not worth choosing. And I imagine that is not what you would want her to feel. Treat her as you would want to be treated! So go apologize and be honest about what you did and why…without the agenda of getting her back…just be honest and help her heal, because I promise you, ignoring her caused her hurt. Just say sorry I did this, I didn’t like it and it’s not the kind of guy I want to be. I really like you and when you weren’t responding to me, I just didn’t know what to do…and I didn’t handle it in the best way. So I’m sorry. Will you forgive me? And then just go from there….

    I know I’ve written a lot! I hope this helps you understand a bit more….I would love to hear an update of what happens!


    ABC123
    Participant
    December 5, 2012 at 5:11 pm #18272

    You’re awesome! I’m gonna c how that works. Thank u!!!

    RealAttraction
    RealAttraction
    Participant
    December 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm #18287

    Wow, thats a wonderful idea. Go apologize to her, beg for forgiveness and tell her how much you like her. Then afterwards you two can go on a horseback ride into the sunset and live happily ever after because she finally now knows how you truly feel about her. This of course being the same girl who ignored you for showing too much interest in the first place. But hey people change right? Life and reality is just like the romantic stories we’ve been fed from an early age. Go for it kid, I believe in you.

    That, or … you could have cut down on the texting from the start and shown little interest leading to a result that would be eerily similar to this.

    if a guy all of a sudden changed his normal pattern of texting me to not texting me, I would say something to the effect of “Listen, I don’t know why you all of a sudden changed from texting me all the time to all of a sudden no longer responding, but if you would like to continue moving forward with me, I need you to respond and let me know what happened. Otherwise, I will assume you are no longer interested. I would really be disappointed if that were the case because I still would like to keep getting to know you. You must know though, that I do not respond well to someone not responding to me and will move on if necessary. So if that is not what you want, please let me know by the end of day.”

    Really disappointed? still would like to keep getting to know you? … strange, that sounds like a girl who is still interested, could it be possible that this hypothetical girl might be feeling the same things that you were feeling when your real girl ignored your text? … It seems to me that a girl responding in this matter is way better then no response at all.

    One question you must ask is, are you still interested in her? … because if you are not then heidigoodrich is completely right and this game playing stuff really does turn people off. If you are though, which seems to be the case considering you are on the internet looking for advice on how to get her back, then you must realize the reality of things. She played a game on you, did you lose interest in her because of it or would you give anything to understand why and get her back?

    I’ll leave you with one more thing, I unfortunately cannot take credit for this.

    “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
    -Albert Einstein

    ~ RealAttraction
    “Here to help men understand the psychology of women”


    Anonymous
    December 5, 2012 at 10:45 pm #18289

    hahaha! I love this stuff! Realattraction definitely represents the kind of guy that teaches how to attract women with low self-esteem. So if that’s what you want, a girl with low self-esteem and puts up with the antics of the game because she doesn’t know she deserves better…definitely listen to him!!! He is right on every angle! And the reason why his type of advice works really well, is because there are a million girls out there that respond exactly as he is saying. You could throw a penny in any direction and hit one of them. And he is also right….there are no romantic stories of riding off into the sunset with those kind of girls….all they do is bring a bunch of drama into your life….just remember…you reap what you sow!

    I still stick to the golden rule…treat others as you would want to be treated. Be kind to her and care that you hurt her and didn’t treat her very well. That’s what you apologize for…however that does not mean that you accept her behavior in return. Yes…in realattraction’s world, he calls that insanity. I say…the insanity is continuing to pick a girl that is more attracted to being ignored than being cared about and valued. The insanity is continuing to pick a girl with low self esteem and will always create some kind of drama. So if you want to stop the insanity….keep being who you want to be and set some standards for yourself!


    eodoge
    Participant
    July 13, 2013 at 4:07 am #35304

    This is a really old post, but I hope that I would get some help since I’m going through the same experience as ABC123 had. After reading the responses, I do agree more with heidigoodrich since I’ve taken most of the action that she stated before reading her responses. The reason why I’m commenting on this is to hopefully get a opinion from heidigoodrich or anyone who will read this. There’s a slight change to the story though:

    I knew a girl through my class and during the two semesters we had together, we constantly chat and met up.It started with a simple group study session but eventually the study sessions was limited to only the two of us. Then we were no longer studying when we met up, but just grabbing dinner and socializing or even hanging out. Our lines of communication was through both texts and calls, I never really made a move and just acted as myself.

    However, during the time we spent together I ended up with a slight crush on her. Being the idiot I am, I acted condescending towards, mocked her, and made some rude comments about her physique. Honestly, I thought it was all fun and games. I thought she understood me because I had asked her and also told her that even though my words are mean but my actions are caring towards her and I do care for her.

    A few months before the class ended, somehow something changed between us and we no longer communicated with each other. When we passed by each other we cannot even look at each other and when she saw me its obvious she would walk another route to avoid me. I asked her once or a few times to grab dinner after class like we always do, but she had given me excuses that she was busy.

    After a friend intervene and asked what was going on between us, she texted me abruptly and stated that there was nothing wrong and she does not know why we stopped talking. Nothing changed after though, we still avoided each other and did not talk after that.

    To cut the story short, a few weeks after the class ended, I was curious about our friendship or even what had happened so I tried once more to text her and find out. Apparently, she stated that I was acting like a child based on how I treated her, also I was acting like a boyfriend throughout the times we were together, and most of my statements were made to get a reaction out of her. I apologized for my statements ,my actions, and told her I did not want to act that way. I also asked if we could just start from the beginning, anew, and pick up from there. She said yes. But since then, she had stopped replying to my texts of getting together. I texted her twice since she said yes. Once for coffee and once to grab dinner and catch up, but there was no response.

    What should I do?

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  eodoge.

    Anonymous
    July 13, 2013 at 5:50 pm #35306
    Reply To: WHY IS SHE SUDDENlY IGNORING ME?? PLEASE HELP

    Girls can be so confusing! I work on teaching them how to be honest. If you understand that our nature is to connect, it is difficult to be honest with someone if it means having to directly disconnect. It’s more uncomfortable for most women than men realize. So, she could be doing the usual “nothing’s wrong” and then ignoring to make you pay for hurting her, kind of game. So let’s cover 2 things here:

    1. I strongly advise men to be VERY CAREFUL with their “negative teasing” type comments with women. If you understand words are words and your intent does not matter sometimes on how a woman receives what you say to her, you would know to be much more kind. You may claim “I was just joking” but now the words are stuck in her head AND they are words that don’t build her confidence, they contribute to her low self-esteem. I tell men as a general rule….STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE TEASING COMPLETELY!!!! Feel free to play and challenge her like, “You know I could kick your ass at…..” or “You know you are a chicken shit when it comes to…..” Athletic, competitive, taunting can be really fun! But the moment you head into negative teasing about how she looks or acts, you are heading onto dangerous ground. Your words are more powerful than you think, even if you are “teasing.” But I think you may have already figured that out.

    2. I again believe honesty is the best when you are dealing with someone you want to keep in your life. Quality friendship requires honesty. If you really want her back into your life you could go about it in a few ways. Your first challenge is to somehow find a way to get her to meet with you. You can get really creative and fun with this! Maybe you can leave a bouquet of flowers on her doorstep with a return envelope where she mails back to you her acceptance or denial of your lunch invitation…that’s just a simple idea, but maybe that can stir things up a bit. Men have been very successful getting a woman’s attention when they do things out of the ordinary, things that let a woman know you actually had to work to make something happen and that it’s creative and thoughtful (not just something thrown together off the top of your head). Most women appreciate gestures MORE than the actual act itself, so when you get creative, thoughtful and fun with trying to get her attention, you not only put a smile on her face, you will have sent the message to her that you are thinking about her and spent time putting a plan together on how to get her attention. Or…you can take a very simple approach and just be straight up. Texting and telephone will not get her attention, so maybe you can find a way to run into her somehow and have a chat. That way she cannot run away from you and she will be able to see your face and feel your intent…AND you will be able to see and feel her reaction. BASIC RULE: never resolve anything of value or depth over text or a phone if at all possible. FACE to FACE is important!

    3. When you get her in front of you, apologize AGAIN for treating her the way you did. Simply state that you are learning and realized what an ass you were. You ended up kinda crushin on her a bit, so it made you nervous and you said some things out of that nervousness that you wish you hadn’t. Let her know that bottom line, you really enjoyed her friendship. You loved laughing with her, you enjoyed talking with her and that you really miss her company. Bottom line is, you want to create a new friendship. YOU DON”T want things back the way they were, because that was the “old” you. The new you will treat her better! One thing you can always ask her is, “what can I do to inspire you to want to be friends again?” Say it in your own words of course. If she says ok, then respond by saying something like, “alright then…the ball is in your court to get things started. Text or call me whenever you want to hang.” And then let it go. You have made your statement clear that you want her back, now she needs to show you she is on the same page by not only saying yes like she did last time, but ACTING on what she is saying. When she ACTS on it, then you know she really meant it. If she never acts on it, then let her go my friend. She needs to chase you bit. You have made several attempts with her, now she needs to make attempts with you. And again, if she never ends up making efforts with you again, regardless of what she said, then you know she is someone who does not have the strength to be straight up with you and actually say what she really means….to your face. You need to know that about her and about anyone you want to let into your life. You, of course, must be able to offer the same in return!

    Never forget this though….you are worth being chosen regardless of whether she sees it that way or not. So if she ends up bailing on you again, don’t let it keep you down and definitely don’t go chasing her. Find your value inside your self, not through someone else! I know that sounds all mushy, but the people who’s self esteem is strong from the inside, are the strongest people I have ever met in my life. They can stay strong inside themselves whether the person in front of them is choosing them or not. BUT, they have only gotten to that place by having many, many experiences of being rejected and learning how to land on their feet again. So no matter how this turns out, choose to view this experience as a way to strengthen on the inside somehow!

    Anyway, I hope this gives you some ideas. I would love to hear back as to how things turn out for you!


    eodoge
    Participant
    July 16, 2013 at 3:32 am #35418
    Reply To: WHY IS SHE SUDDENlY IGNORING ME?? PLEASE HELP

    Hello, thank you for replying to this post a lot faster then I expected. I’ve already thought of sending her an apology letter along with some of her favorite flowers for her upcoming birthday (i’ll update you on the outcome if you’re interested). You are right, after I wrote this post, I had some time to think. To be honest, I am over the idea of attempting to contact her. I believe I’m doing what I’m doing simply because I’ve made a mistake on how I chose to handle things and believe that this is the best way for me to resolve it, accept it, and finally move on. Thank you for your help heidigoodrich.


    gavo93
    Participant
    October 15, 2013 at 4:24 pm #41226
    Reply To: WHY IS SHE SUDDENlY IGNORING ME?? PLEASE HELP

    Hopefully Heidigoodrich can respond to this, as her comments are so helpful, and relate to me.

    I have just started college this year, and I have met a group of 3 nice girls that are in all of my college classes. I actually only met them last Monday (7th Oct). One of the girls I find very attractive. We all got along well and after only 1 day, the girl I liked asked me to go to her ‘debs’ with her. (In Ireland, a ‘debs’ is like a prom in America). Now this was because her date had let her down, so I said yes, not just because I liked her, but because why not? So I went along to her debs, and had a great night. The other 2 girls were there also.

    The problem is, at the debs, I wasn’t totally sure at the time if she liked me back, so I decided to casually try a few moves on her. If she didn’t respond, then I’d let it go, because the last thing I wanted to do was ruin her night. Throughout the night, she was giving me mixed signals, little punches, touching my face, playing with her hair a lot, getting me to sip her drink, her best friend even said that she thinks she likes me but she’s very shy, while another girl told me to go for it. But then at other times, she wouldn’t dance with me because she’d shy away, she’d disappear for a while, etc. But then at the end of the night, she finally gave me a dance. Even on the bus back, she fell asleep on my shoulder. I didn’t know what to do at the time, so I decided not to do anything.

    continued…


    gavo93
    Participant
    October 15, 2013 at 4:27 pm #41227
    Reply To: WHY IS SHE SUDDENlY IGNORING ME?? PLEASE HELP

    We seen each other again this Monday (15th Oct), and she was acting really shy with me, and constantly talking with some other guy in front of me, I presume to make me jealous. And today (Tuesday), again she was acting shy, I asked her to go to a cafe, just me and her, and she wouldn’t, even though she was free.

    My question is does she like me? And what should I do here? I’ve broken up with a girl before for being too shy and not being able to open up. I’m not the kind of guy that goes for any girl, I’m always looking for the ‘one’, even though most guys just tell you to have fun. That’s how I am. And why I relate to what Heidi said earlier, is because I’m all about honesty. I’m honest with everyone, and I’d have no problem being honest with her, but I have a feeling she’ll still just shy away even if I spill my guts to her. She’s starting to annoy me now with this kind of thing, I think it’s childish, and I want a woman, not a girl. I’m thinking maybe she only acted like that because she was a bit drunk, and is way too shy to show her true feelings, which I don’t really like. (I don’t even drink myself, because I always have a good time without alcohol, and for health and fitness also)


    2nice2nice
    Participant
    October 16, 2013 at 10:26 pm #41351
    Reply To: WHY IS SHE SUDDENlY IGNORING ME?? PLEASE HELP

    I’m going thought the same thing with a little twist. This girl I met started texting me all the time. She has a boy friend when we meet she still wants to hang out with me but nothing happened even though I senced she wanted something to. She texted me all the time always when she woke up and through out the day. All of a sudden she stopped for no reason. I didn’t keep texting here back. I just waited for her and then she texted me 5 days later. We reconnected and I found out she and the BF are no longer together. We hung out a few times since but she doesn’t have the same spark. The texting picked by up but was kind of dull. After the last time we went out she texted me and said she had a good time. I texted her the following morning and not a word since. What should I do she’s only been broken up for like a week. I really like this girl and she’s the one who pursued me in the beginning. When she was still with the boy friend now it’s not the same that she’s single.


    2nice2nice
    Participant
    October 16, 2013 at 11:07 pm #41352
    Reply To: WHY IS SHE SUDDENlY IGNORING ME?? PLEASE HELP

    Girls can be so confusing! I work on teaching them how to be honest. If you understand that our nature is to connect, it is difficult to be honest with someone if it means having to directly disconnect. It’s more uncomfortable for most women than men realize. So, she could be doing the usual “nothing’s wrong” and then ignoring to make you pay for hurting her, kind of game. So let’s cover 2 things here:
    1. I strongly advise men to be VERY CAREFUL with their “negative teasing” type comments with women. If you understand words are words and your intent does not matter sometimes on how a woman receives what you say to her, you would know to be much more kind. You may claim “I was just joking” but now the words are stuck in her head AND they are words that don’t build her confidence, they contribute to her low self-esteem. I tell men as a general rule….STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE TEASING COMPLETELY!!!! Feel free to play and challenge her like, “You know I could kick your ass at…..” or “You know you are a chicken shit when it comes to…..” Athletic, competitive, taunting can be really fun! But the moment you head into negative teasing about how she looks or acts, you are heading onto dangerous ground. Your words are more powerful than you think, even if you are “teasing.” But I think you may have already figured that out.
    2. I again believe honesty is the best when you are dealing with someone you want to keep in your life. Quality friendship requires honesty. If you really want her back into your life you could go about it in a few ways. Your first challenge is to somehow find a way to get her to meet with you. You can get really creative and fun with this! Maybe you can leave a bouquet of flowers on her doorstep with a return envelope where she mails back to you her acceptance or denial of your lunch invitation…that’s just a simple idea, but maybe that can stir things up a bit. Men have been very successful getting a woman’s attention when they do things out of the ordinary, things that let a woman know you actually had to work to make something happen and that it’s creative and thoughtful (not just something thrown together off the top of your head). Most women appreciate gestures MORE than the actual act itself, so when you get creative, thoughtful and fun with trying to get her attention, you not only put a smile on her face, you will have sent the message to her that you are thinking about her and spent time putting a plan together on how to get her attention. Or…you can take a very simple approach and just be straight up. Texting and telephone will not get her attention, so maybe you can find a way to run into her somehow and have a chat. That way she cannot run away from you and she will be able to see your face and feel your intent…AND you will be able to see and feel her reaction. BASIC RULE: never resolve anything of value or depth over text or a phone if at all possible. FACE to FACE is important!
    3. When you get her in front of you, apologize AGAIN for treating her the way you did. Simply state that you are learning and realized what an ass you were. You ended up kinda crushin on her a bit, so it made you nervous and you said some things out of that nervousness that you wish you hadn’t. Let her know that bottom line, you really enjoyed her friendship. You loved laughing with her, you enjoyed talking with her and that you really miss her company. Bottom line is, you want to create a new friendship. YOU DON”T want things back the way they were, because that was the “old” you. The new you will treat her better! One thing you can always ask her is, “what can I do to inspire you to want to be friends again?” Say it in your own words of course. If she says ok, then respond by saying something like, “alright then…the ball is in your court to get things started. Text or call me whenever you want to hang.” And then let it go. You have made your statement clear that you want her back, now she needs to show you she is on the same page by not only saying yes like she did last time, but ACTING on what she is saying. When she ACTS on it, then you know she really meant it. If she never acts on it, then let her go my friend. She needs to chase you bit. You have made several attempts with her, now she needs to make attempts with you. And again, if she never ends up making efforts with you again, regardless of what she said, then you know she is someone who does not have the strength to be straight up with you and actually say what she really means….to your face. You need to know that about her and about anyone you want to let into your life. You, of course, must be able to offer the same in return!
    Never forget this though….you are worth being chosen regardless of whether she sees it that way or not. So if she ends up bailing on you again, don’t let it keep you down and definitely don’t go chasing her. Find your value inside your self, not through someone else! I know that sounds all mushy, but the people who’s self esteem is strong from the inside, are the strongest people I have ever met in my life. They can stay strong inside themselves whether the person in front of them is choosing them or not. BUT, they have only gotten to that place by having many, many experiences of being rejected and learning how to land on their feet again. So no matter how this turns out, choose to view this experience as a way to strengthen on the inside somehow!
    Anyway, I hope this gives you some ideas. I would love to hear back as to how things turn out for you!

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