Will we make the distance? Should I even try?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Will we make the distance? Should I even try?

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  • browneyedgirl
    Participant
    August 19, 2016 at 8:06 pm #108942
    Will we make the distance? Should I even try?

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. We have been long distance for most of it (2.5 hours away). He is a full time grad student and I had a flexible job that allowed for me to visit. He doesn’t like long-distance, but has told me for the entirety of our relationship that he is willing to be in a LDR because he loves me and I am worth it. He often talks about the future- about our first home, about family, kids…I have just moved to an out of state graduate program. The night before I left, he casually mentioned that he wouldn’t want to get engaged until after we lived together for a while so that he could see if we are compatible in “normal life” (aka a non LDR). I was left shocked and realized we are not on the same page at all.. I thought an engagement was imminent. I am so in love with him, but obv. doesn’t feel the way I do… He isn’t sure… and he expects me to chase after him while he makes up his mind. I feel heartbroken. Blindsided. And i don’t know what to do.


    pizzalover131
    Participant
    August 19, 2016 at 9:41 pm #108955

    I would honestly talk about it with him. If he loves you so much, then a long distance relationship shouldn’t be so bad. Eventually you two will be able to come together and live together, it’ll just take time. If he isn’t into you as much as you are into him, he’s just not the one! God has great plans for you, and as sad as it may sound, maybe there’s someone else out there for you that’s even better!


    browneyedgirl
    Participant
    August 19, 2016 at 10:22 pm #108956

    Yes… I have talked to him on the phone extensively twice now. It is so frustrating to hear someone you love tell you that they “don’t have enough data” to make any decisions. That they want you to “wait three years and then see from there”. It doesn’t help that he tells me he loves me. He keeps saying over and over that he is sorry that we are in this position.I’m not crazy for how I feel. I feel devalued. It makes me feel worthless to think that someone spent two years in a relationship with me and they still don’t know how they really feel.