Women with children

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Women with children

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    monkeyrug
    Participant
    October 10, 2014 at 6:01 pm #65694
    Women with children

    I’ve been seeing this woman for a little over a year. We haven’t been in a committed relationship, but we clearly like each other a lot. She hides her feelings and tells me she doesn’t want to date anyone, but we constantly see each other, she invites me over for dinner, we cuddle, sleep together, do normal relationship things…the only difference for me is she has a daughter. I love the kid, so that’s not the issue. The issue is that since she “doesn’t want to date anyone” it’s creating a problem since her daughter really likes me and asks to see me a lot. Her father is pretty much out of the picture and in another state, so my fear is she sees me as a replacement since she’s never really had a dad. She’s very young (5) and I don’t want to scar her anymore than she already has been. Her mother constantly flip flops between wanting me there and having me not be there because she fears her daughter will get close to me and then yet another person will leave her life.Not sure what to do

    Dulu
    Dulu
    Participant
    October 11, 2014 at 5:55 am #65706

    Very impressionable little girl.

    I’d wait until you are certain you want to make a long-term, possibly marriage commitment to this woman before moving in and playing daddy.

    Seeing another man leave her mother (and her, by proxy) can have a negative impact on her psyche, which you’ve already figured out.


    Woodstock1987
    Participant
    October 12, 2014 at 1:36 am #65722

    It’s a tricky situation. I found best to not approach the issue because it can make her feel inadequate due to the child and push her away, instead just keep hanging out and show her that you’re going to be there instead of telling her


    monkeyrug
    Participant
    October 12, 2014 at 1:35 pm #65734

    Sorry if I wasn’t clear, I know I may have rambled a bit. I absolutely love this woman and her daughter. The question isn’t on my end. I can see myself with her forever. That’s not the problem. The problem is every time she gets close to me, she panics and backs away (claiming she wants a relationship with no one, and having an incredibly hard time being a giving partner) and we split apart for some time, all the while her daughter asks for me to come over for dinner and to spend time there.

    I want to hang out, but she freaks out so easily, gets defensive and then tells me all the reasons she doesn’t want to be with me, after having me over for dinner, cooking for me, falling asleep on the couch with me, having me join her in bed just to sleep for a few hours so we can cuddle, and then I have to leave before her daughter wakes up.

    Either she’s fooling herself, or I’m just some sort of replacement.


    Anonymous
    October 13, 2014 at 9:34 am #65721

    Very impressionable little girl.

    I’d wait until you are certain you want to make a long-term, possibly marriage commitment to this woman before moving in and playing daddy.

    Seeing another man leave her mother (and her, by proxy) can have a negative impact on her psyche, which you’ve already figured out.

    he’s right,first you really have to think about it,if you want to become a part of theyr life,or you just want to change the relantionship stats on facebook,this is really a difficult situation for her,not for you,you have to decide for theyr own sake,second put yourself in her shoes,how do you feel if you have a kid,you are a parent and for a parent is kid’s first,you second