Workplace Dating – when is the right time?

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Workplace Dating – when is the right time?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    lovedup
    Participant
    August 17, 2017 at 3:54 pm #145930
    Workplace Dating – when is the right time?

    Hey,

    So im currently temporarily employed, only 5 weeks, I work very closely (we spend every working minute together, even breaks) with a girl, we get on great, she even laughs at all my terrible, terrible jokes. We have only known each other 2 weeks, but I like her. I have never asked a work collegue out before, I want to, but I also don’t want it to get awkward.

    My plan to ask ask her out at the end of our work week, I have been giving her lifts in and out of work and thought I would ask just as shes about to leave the car at the end of the day, leaving time, whatever the outcome for us both to process the outcome without being with each other. That would be awkward.

    The reason I am posting is I am going back and forth in my head as to whether its too soon or not, maybe later on in the 5 weeks would be better but waiting to ask her till the end of the week is hard enough. Today she casually asked me if I was single, she said she was too, thats good news I hope. What do you think?

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    August 18, 2017 at 2:46 pm #146100

    Rule #1 with dating: SERIOUSLY consider whether it’s worth the risk for your job and career to do it. It’s all good and fun when it’s positive and new but the %’s are that there will be a fight and a break-up at some point. Imagine how it will be after a fight and break up. Is THAT scenario worth your job/career?

    Rule #2: due to Rule #1, it’s highly advisable that you steer WAY AWAY from ever dating anybody at work UNLESS you do not work close together, hardly ever interact, do not formally cross any paths together for work, etc.

    Rule #3: Remember that part of our jobs is to be pleasant, polite, and be professional at work. So don’t automatically interpret “being nice and chatty to me” as interest. People do this so they can keep their jobs and advance! You should ONLY consider it chemistry and attraction if there is some way out of the ordinary thing going on. Not just “nice”

    Rule #4: anything relationship, intimacy wise can easily be made to look like harassment.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    August 18, 2017 at 2:50 pm #146101

    so the overall question is.. as much as you might want to, wish to, how cool she is, etc. —- is it worth your career and job?
    so really think about it and choose wisely.

    if you still feel you just have to ask her and try to date her – i woudl instead of wondering “what the righ titme is”, let your interactions tell you when the right time is. Women who really want and target a man they want to date – aren’t that shy about it and keep setting things up to make it real lgoical for you to ask them out. If ou aren’t noticing such signs – then her interactions with you are probably not attraction.

    Ask either now so you know now and can move on. Or ask when you are pretty sure she’l say yes (meaning you’ve gotten all those signs). It should be pretty obvious to both people that they want to go out together


    Anonymous
    August 18, 2017 at 9:00 pm #146139

    Maybe he has been busy!

    Richy Rich
    Richy Rich
    Participant
    August 23, 2017 at 5:49 pm #146760

    Casually mention that you think you both should go to a bar one night. If she makes some excuse say “Oh ok” and change the subject.


    tweetyluver
    Participant
    August 23, 2017 at 9:11 pm #146767

    I think the last week is a great idea, now just stick to it. Her asking if you’re single is the green light. Go for it!


    kingtravel
    Participant
    August 23, 2017 at 10:32 pm #146768

    Make an appointment when you see fit