Would I be a jerk to say we can't be friends?

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Would I be a jerk to say we can't be friends?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    JoannaB623
    JoannaB623
    Participant
    March 19, 2017 at 10:15 am #130500
    Would I be a jerk to say we can't be friends?

    So I’ve been talking to this guy. We’re in the same circle of friends, so we see each other a lot. He had just gotten out of a relationship when we started talking, so he said he’d need some time. I totally understood. That was more than a month ago and in that time we’ve been hanging out a lot. Sometimes he’s really affectionate with me and I’m convinced he likes me, and others he isn’t. Last night it really upset me. We were at a party together and for the first half of the night he was always sitting with me and putting his arm around me and I was convinced we were finally getting somewhere. Then about halfway through the night he started ignoring me. I started crying after he left and all my friends told me I should just break it off. This morning I texted him about it. I told him these mixed signals are really upsetting me and that I need to know how he’s feeling about us. He told me he’s not interested in a relationship right now, but he really wants to be my friend. We were–

    • This topic was modified 7 months ago by JoannaB623 JoannaB623.
    JoannaB623
    JoannaB623
    Participant
    March 19, 2017 at 10:16 am #130501

    (continued) planning to go to a concert together on Friday, but now I’m not sure that I want to. I don’t know that I can be his friend without constantly hoping it might evolve into something else, and I don’t think that would be good for my mental health. Would it be a jerk move to tell him I don’t think I can be his friend right now?


    roco148
    Participant
    March 20, 2017 at 9:22 am #130530

    Give him time. Depending on how long he was with his previous gf, he might need more time to heal.

    It seems like he might be attracted to, but he also might see you as a rebound.

    He knows you are interested… I suggest giving him some space, and not hanging out with him for a while. If he likes you, he will reach out to you soon enough. Otherwise, you can get over your interest in him, and hopefully stay friends.