Would you be hurt/confused?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Would you be hurt/confused?

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2017 at 6:37 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!


    estelle
    Participant
    September 1, 2014 at 2:32 pm #60477
    Would you be hurt/confused?

    A few months ago, I asked this guy out. I didn’t know him very well at all, but I just instantly liked a lot of things about him and felt very attracted to him, which doesn’t happen to me very often.

    He just seemed really nerdy and sweet, so I went for it. He said yes, and it was awkward… but I still liked him, cause we’re both kind of just awkward people (lol). Anyway, over the course of about a month, I would text him asking him about how he was doing, things like that, and if he wanted to hang out. I really enjoyed being around him so I asked him on a second date. I think it was pretty clear that I was nervous, and both times that I asked him, I said something along the lines of “I don’t want to bother you, definitely only if you want to!” He said yes… but then when we went to dinner again he sat there kinda looking at me like I was a freak, I don’t know how else to put it, then stopped responding to my texts after that.

    (continued below)


    estelle
    Participant
    September 1, 2014 at 2:36 pm #60478

    So I felt a bit upset, and I asked him to be more up front about whatever he was feeling. It might have come across as angry, but I couldn’t help it, I felt angry. So he finally said that friendship was the only thing he was looking for, but he had been worried about what to say to me. So that turned out to be nice, I thought. I didn’t think he really meant any harm, except that I’m positive that after this happened he made fun of me with his friends and made me out to be an extreme weirdo.

    My question is, did I really act like a weirdo in this situation for getting angry at him? I felt extremely hurt, because if he had just said no to me in the first place, I would have left him alone in 2 seconds flat. :/


    diva820
    Participant
    September 2, 2014 at 1:57 am #60487

    No, you didn’t act like a weirdo and he probably knows it was just nervousness but maybe he only wants to be friends for only reasons he really knows. He may have said yes to both dates because he was interested or intrigued. You shouldn’t press him about it anymore and keep your emotions in check for future communications with him. Is there a reason you think he’s making comments about you with his friends? He may or may not but you will never really know so try not to put too much energy into this situation or making up scenarios because it will only frustrate you. You can chalk it up as a learning experience so you are better prepared on your next date or if you decide to ask someone out. The main thing is don’t beat yourself up over this and use the energy to find someone who values you and wants to spend time with you.

    S
    S
    Participant
    September 3, 2014 at 6:26 pm #60662

    Don’t think that was weird at all…you have a right to ask, especially since, as you said, he’d agreed to go out with you those two times – he could have easily saved everyone the trouble and just said no (I’m in a bit of a similar situation right now and not looking forward to asking those same sort of questions!).