Young men are tuned in to the flirtatious nature of every little glance that connects them with an available girl. Even if they don’t grasp the full meaning, they still understand that there is sexual subtext and innuendo implicit in every conversation with her.
Single senior men, however, often assume that romance is a thing of the past, no longer relevant or possible in their lives. What does this mean for you? Sometimes a senior lady has to take the bull by the horns.
When he just doesn’t take the hint, it becomes your job to help him discover that respecting the past does not mean he has to give up his future.
If you’re waiting for that great, eligible senior man to call you for a date, you may be wasting precious moments. There are plenty of ways for a modern woman in her 50s, 60s or beyond to get the romantic ball rolling now — while still remaining an old-fashioned girl.
1. Let him know you’re available to him.
You share great conversations, abundant laughter and have so many things in common. You even see that little glint in his eye from time to time that tells you he sees you as more than a friend. But maybe his respect for your past or for his own leaves him unable to act.
You just have to give him some kind of encouragement. Let him know you would welcome any interest he has in getting closer to you.
Don’t tell him he’s a really good friend. Tell him he makes you feel young again, he makes you see all the possibilities that life still holds, he’s the kind of man you were always attracted to as a young woman, and you feel great comfort, warmth and zest for life when you’re near him.
Reach across the table and put your hand on his. Look in his eyes and tell him that if he ever wants your company on his daily walk, at dinner time or for watching his favorite TV show, you would be happy to be there. If you plant the seed, he’s more likely to ask you out.
“It is easier for you now than ever before to
talk openly with a man while just being yourself.”
2. Ask him to accompany you.
Even today, women generally wait for the man to make the first move when it comes to dating. But you can always ask him to escort you somewhere you are already planning to go.
Maybe Rose went to Colorado to help with her daughter’s new baby, so you need a fourth person for your weekly Canasta game. Invite him. There’s an ice cream social at the senior center next week? Bring him along.
Your kids are all coming home for the weekend and you could really use a hand with the grilling and would love to introduce him to your family. Perfect!
Or maybe your conversation gets to a point where it would make sense to invite him to accompany you to the gym, the grocery store or church. Or maybe you can go and vote together. The possibilities are endless.
This way, you’re not asking him to take you on a date. You’re just asking him to be your escort. It’s low pressure for both you and him, and it’s a great way to bring a senior man into your life.
Once you leave the church or the gym or the polling place, it’s up to you to keep things going by suggesting lunch, coffee or drinks. And don’t forget to end it with, “We should do something like this more often!”
3. Ask him on a daytime date.
This is one of my favorite ideas for breaking the ice between potential lovers of all ages, and I come back to it again and again. There is something so formal, intimidating and “real” about a full-production, fully-costumed evening date that makes it seem like a bigger deal and bigger commitment than it needs to be.
A daytime date can be casual, comfortable and totally nonthreatening for all parties. It might even be a “stealth” date that you don’t have to label as a date at all.
But if you play your cards right, when it’s over he will definitely know he was on a real date with a great lady who actually cares about him. What’s not to love about that?
A walk in the park, a barefoot stroll along the beach, a trip to the museum for the new exhibit, or a visit to the street fair is a great way to have fun and start a bond growing with someone you care about.
Take his hand briefly from time to time and see how he responds to it. The chilly afternoon breeze can be a good excuse to put your head on his shoulder on a park bench or to move in close so he can put his arm around you. If there’s chemistry, this will help it bubble to the surface.
4. Just do it.
Sometimes the best way to ask a man out is to just ask him out! Find a topic in the conversation if you can and use it as an opportunity.
Turn the conversation to a movie trailer you saw on TV that looks interesting. If he seems to be interested in it as well, suggest that you go and see it together. Talk about your favorite restaurants, find out where he likes to eat, or mention a place you just heard about or have always been meaning to try.
When you hit one that seems to appeal to him, jump on the opportunity and ask him if he would like to join you there. Group dates or tagging along on a date with another couple can also be an easier way to suggest that he spend the evening in your company.
Dating rituals haven’t really changed much over the years. But the good news is that you have changed in a lot of positive ways.
It is easier for you now than ever before to talk openly with a man while just being yourself. You know how to pick the good ones, and you know how to read his mind.
Just lead him in the right direction, with a little help from these tips, and you’ll be dating that lucky guy next week.